Dying to live

  • Sarfo

    Posts: 1

    May 02, 2016 10:43 PM GMT
    Don't know what I am. A sinner, saint or human. If only those around me knew how I felt. Hmmmm. I come from a part of the world , where your "coming out" doesn't mean doom for just you, but your whole family and close friends. They will be tagged and ostracized.
    Lots of people look up to me, I do youth counseling at church.

    So I wonder, why do I feel how I do. Is it a test from God, or one of his funny ways of playing with mankind, or its curse I have to find a cure to. " the sprinkling of the holy water seems ineffective "

    At times I hate homosexuality...with all that's within me, it seems to be the only taint in my perfect white robe.

    Because I believe you choose who you decide to have sex with. Straight or gay.. You still choose.
    But how you feel, that's where the issue is.

    It's even more confusing when I feel the same way about guys and girls

    Is this one of the 21st century devil made up sins.

    So I ask what am I, saint,sinner or human...
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    May 02, 2016 11:00 PM GMT
    Brainwashed into believing that God or the Devil exist in the first place, but that's another matter.

    Yes, a lot of us who came from indoctrinated religion went through this struggle. The first thing is to know that the Bible (I assume you're Christian) says nothing about homosexuality for the very good reason that homosexuality as we understand it in this modern age didn't really exist back then. Sure, there were guys who were sexually attracted to other guys and had sex with them, and that was okay so long as they eventually married and had children to further the family name. We don't tell infertile couples that they cannot marry because they can't have children, so it is absurd for Christians to ask gays to not marry, but that's also another topic entirely.

    Yeah, when I first realized I was into guys at 17 I freaked out because I was a fundamental Christian and believed the crap I had been told about homosexuality. At first I thought it was a test from God and that if only I could abstain from having sex with a guy then I would pass the test and get to Heaven. So dumb, but I believed it. But then just six months later my super hot "straight" jock friend and I failed that test. ;) And I realized that the wonderful feelings I felt during that proved that it couldn't be wrong, and I never looked back since.
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    May 02, 2016 11:04 PM GMT
    Simply Human.
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    May 02, 2016 11:40 PM GMT
    Unbothered said

    I have found that most gay guys who are atheist are the most perverse with no morals and really truly do the work of the keeper and not the creator.

    Absurd. I'm agnostic--technically--but am one of the least promiscuous, and I'd like to think nicest and moral fellows I know.

    If you need an outdated 2000 year old book to tell you to be nice or you'll be punished by burning forever instead of just CHOOSING to be nice because it's the right thing to do... you probably DO need religion.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 02, 2016 11:51 PM GMT
    "Because I believe you choose who you decide to have sex with. Straight or gay.. You still choose."

    For me it was never a choice. From day one, I knew that I never had any interest in females, only males. I could never visualize myself even trying with a female, because there is simply no interest.

    I grew up in a very conservative Southern Baptist community. I have been a Church pianist for 40+ years. I have a very close walk with God. And yes, I am still 100% a gay male.

    You have to find the peace that comes with understanding. I believe that you are simply human. icon_biggrin.gif