Boyfriend calls me a pussy and says I'm condescending, what to do?


  • May 03, 2016 12:27 AM GMT
    My boyfriend sometimes calls me a pussy, and it really makes me angry because I am very feminist and I despise that kind of misogynistic language yada yada you get my drift. Anyway I want to call him out on it, but when I call him out on things he usually tells me I'm condescending. I really can't think of any non-condescending way to tell someone they're being misogynistic. Everyone hates the angry feminist person that calls people out. So far I've just shut up about it and not said anything to him, but it's really getting to me lately and I really want to tell him to stop calling me that. I just know he'll tell me I'm being condescending. What shall I do?
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    May 03, 2016 1:04 AM GMT
    Definitely start standing up for yourself. Otherwise he might try to see what else he can get away with. It can be tough at first to start speaking up, but once you get used to it, it will become second nature to you.

    We're here for moral support, if you need more help/have more questions.

    I hope it works out for the best! Stay safe!
  • Latinman27

    Posts: 192

    May 03, 2016 1:18 AM GMT
    Your boyfriend is a loser.Dump him and find someone who will respect you.
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    May 03, 2016 1:45 AM GMT
    The guy above me is right.. Only a loser BF would call his man a pussy and mean it. Time to call him your Ex and move on.
    He's a bully, and you're smarter than that. Show some self respect and find someone who will treat you right.
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    May 03, 2016 4:56 AM GMT
    If you put up with that behavior, he's right; you are a pussy.
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    May 03, 2016 4:59 AM GMT
    Not4u saidIf you put up with that behavior, he's right; you are a pussy.



    ∆ Thread winner.
  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    May 03, 2016 7:51 AM GMT
    He's a controlling dick. And you let him. In the end, the fault is yours.
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    May 03, 2016 1:19 PM GMT
    It sounds like the word "pussy" is being used by your bf as a derogatory term (as opposed to a term of endearment). I should note that a similar term, "cunt," is used in Australia, Scotland, etc., as a term of endearment among close male buddies.
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    May 06, 2016 8:54 PM GMT
    SomeGuyFromSomewhere saidMy boyfriend sometimes calls me a pussy, and it really makes me angry because I am very feminist and I despise that kind of misogynistic language yada yada you get my drift. Anyway I want to call him out on it, but when I call him out on things he usually tells me I'm condescending. I really can't think of any non-condescending way to tell someone they're being misogynistic. Everyone hates the angry feminist person that calls people out. So far I've just shut up about it and not said anything to him, but it's really getting to me lately and I really want to tell him to stop calling me that. I just know he'll tell me I'm being condescending. What shall I do?


    Honestly, you kind of do sound like a pussy if you have to make a big deal out of the usage of that word--but NOT if it is being used against you by your boyfriend, that's really not at all acceptable and he sounds like an asshole.
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    May 06, 2016 10:05 PM GMT
    We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 306

    May 07, 2016 8:57 AM GMT
    SomeGuyFromSomewhere saidMy boyfriend sometimes calls me a pussy, and it really makes me angry because I am very feminist and I despise that kind of misogynistic language yada yada you get my drift. Anyway I want to call him out on it, but when I call him out on things he usually tells me I'm condescending. I really can't think of any non-condescending way to tell someone they're being misogynistic. Everyone hates the angry feminist person that calls people out. So far I've just shut up about it and not said anything to him, but it's really getting to me lately and I really want to tell him to stop calling me that. I just know he'll tell me I'm being condescending. What shall I do?


    Very, VERY passive-aggressive. It also keeps him at a remove from you since it isn't possible to be genuinely close to someone you malign. He's sabotaging the relationship by being verbally abusive. Stop looking for an external solution to his internal anger.
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    May 07, 2016 1:23 PM GMT
    SomeGuyFromSomewhere said
    My boyfriend sometimes calls me a pussy, and it really makes me angry because I am very feminist and I despise that kind of misogynistic language yada yada you get my drift.

    To clarify: you are not femmy yourself, rather you are pro women's rights? And your BF calls you a pussy for that?

    In that case: "The problem is in our boyfriends, Horatio, not in ourselves." (Broad paraphrasing of Shakespeare)