Gay Dance Clubs on the Wane

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2016 7:21 PM GMT
    http://nyti.ms/26saPgo

    A somewhat sad but sobering article on the state of the NYC Gay Club Scene. When I came out (and MANY years later) I found going out to be an exciting way to see new and different people and (possibly) make new friends - and... on the right night (LOL) - hook up!

    I went to EVERY major (and lots of minor) clubs in NYC for years.

    I still do on occasion, but my social life has changed it's focus. What do you guys think about this? I came out in a TOTALLY different landscape. There was No internet, and No cell phones(!) As I'm approaching 50, I kind of wonder what guys think about all this (if at all).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2016 8:10 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    I'm also almost 50, though approaching 60. I first started going to clubs at 17/18 in the mid 70s in Fort Lauderdale and then in the 80s with my best bud we partied pretty hard in NYC and Florida. And I think it was the 80s when Miami Beach first had some good clubs. There was one over by the Bass Museum I used to go to a lot. On the beach, real fun. I lived in Key West when we had the Monster and I was very early in Wilton before that started turning gay.

    So I had lots of fun in the club scene. But I don't think internet itself is what killed the clubs. I think it was the later apps. It was the cell phone, not the personal computer. Because we had internet in the 80s and 90s & 00s. Even though at first just bulletin boards, by the early 90s many of us were in chat rooms on AOL and that didn't put a dent in clubbing. It was an add, not a substitute.

    So I think the big changes were cell phones, apps, grindr not personal computers and internet alone. And then I'd add to that greater acceptance into the world in general.

    I haven't even used the apps yet. I'm probably one of the last hold outs without a smart phone. And that's a problem because besides that so many clubs have closed, there's even less of a bar scene for older guys who'd rather just go out and chance meeting someone in person which is my preference.

    I'm glad I lived during the period I did. To go from 18 years of growing up in the closet to a few very fun decades of celebrating gay life was very freeing.
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1277

    May 03, 2016 9:43 PM GMT
    For the first portion of my coming out, there was no internet, no cell phones, no Craigslist, Grindr, nothing. You had to actually either call someone and arrange a meeting or go to a gay bar and meet them and give them your phone number and ask them to contact you. I'd be curious if the younger guys reading this, who only know the instant communication we have now, has this made it easier to meet someone, or has it not made any difference? Or is it in some ways harder now? Would you prefer there to be less technology?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 04, 2016 12:10 AM GMT
    I can't speak from too much experience, but I do agree that the internet and it's services have rendered clubs, bars less popular for social interactions.

    Personally, I love the feeling of going to a bar/club and meeting people for the first time face to face. (Going alone, while being scary was liberating for me as well, I met many new friends that time)!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 04, 2016 4:44 AM GMT
    Unfortunately a majority of gays have an addiction to their smartphones and lack the interpersonal skills necessary to meet someone new in person. You cannot get to know someone by texting or social media. The facial expressions, body language and voice intonation simply isn't there. icon_sad.gif
  • Bylt4U

    Posts: 38

    May 04, 2016 5:21 AM GMT
    Anyone who's been to Toronto knows we have always had a vibrant gay scene. I agree with everything said here about the digital age changing so much. When I was young, a gay guy got his street cred from being a good dancer. Yes, Saturday Night Live was a real deal.
    It's also noted that the mainstreaming of gay culture has led to a lesser need for gay-only spaces.
    I'd like to add two more points. First, the demographics of our society is skewing older. The Baby Boomers are now retiring! That bulge of youth in the 60's to the mid 80's is long gone. Our one child [if that] families has created an inverted pyramid. There just aren't that many young people these days.
    Second, have you seen or touched a lot of today's young gay men? Gurl, you may have a cute face but that spare tire around your waist is unreal! What? You say you are pre-diabetic? Oh dear, turn around and let me see that ass. Eeek! Flat as a fucking pancake! No damn ass! These kids have never run or exercised and are in terrible shape.
    I'm old enough to be the father of these 20-somethings and my ass is firmer and perkier than theirs.
    Websites like Real Jock are swimming against the tide. It is so neat to see all the younger men here who take their fitness seriously, but I think there is a larger group out there, outside of Real Jock, of younger gays who have never danced and never will.
  • Bylt4U

    Posts: 38

    May 04, 2016 6:12 PM GMT
    Unbothered saidI enjoy going out dancing, and socializing. But, I think that older men should probably be focusing on locating the proper retirement community and leave the dance clubs to the younger generations.


    Unbothered, your foot isn't in your ass, it's in your mouth.
    What an ageist thing to say. Who are you to tell an entire generation what to do or not to do? Someday, if you're lucky, you'll be old and wonder why you are treated as if you are invisible.
    It is more precisely the younger generation of gays who are losing face to face contact and the physicality of dance and body movement.
    Maybe someday the pendulum will swing back and folks come out of their pods and meet other humans again.
    As for me, I will NEVER ever ever stop dancing until my feet can't hold me up.
    And watch out, Unbothered, I may just dance on your grave!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 04, 2016 6:14 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    Unbothered said... older men should probably be focusing on locating the proper retirement community and leave the dance clubs to the younger generations.
    i kinda agree, at some point you find your partner or he finds you and the two of you pay off a mortgage(s).

    And they need to get rid of their cars and learn how to use public transportation. We obey the speed limit which makes the young people angry because we're driving too slow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2016 1:45 PM GMT
    Most straight clubs are now mixed, with nobody giving a shit about sexual orientation. Asking a guy to dance will likely be met with a yes, even if he's straight. Hugging and kissing a guy is now considered a way to show affection and friendship, not sexual interest (well sometimes).

    With all that in mind, there's no longer a need for gay dance clubs like there used to be. Now they're mainly filled with closet guys who are afraid to be themselves at a regular dance club...just like the old days.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2016 2:35 PM GMT
    Bylt4U said
    Unbothered saidI enjoy going out dancing, and socializing. But, I think that older men should probably be focusing on locating the proper retirement community and leave the dance clubs to the younger generations.


    Unbothered, your foot isn't in your ass, it's in your mouth.
    What an ageist thing to say. Who are you to tell an entire generation what to do or not to do? Someday, if you're lucky, you'll be old and wonder why you are treated as if you are invisible.
    It is more precisely the younger generation of gays who are losing face to face contact and the physicality of dance and body movement.
    Maybe someday the pendulum will swing back and folks come out of their pods and meet other humans again.
    As for me, I will NEVER ever ever stop dancing until my feet can't hold me up.
    And watch out, Unbothered, I may just dance on your grave!icon_lol.gif



    Don't take this queen too seriously. This is that One4u2c lizard faced looking idiot that was banned two weeks ago. AKA Dontknowwhy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2016 1:19 PM GMT
    Every time there is a closure of a gay club or any other gay establishment, I feel sad. It makes me feel that there is certain death of gay culture with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2016 1:41 PM GMT
    Not sure about other cities but this is what I see happening here in New Orleans:

    • The gay bars here (not just the dance clubs) are about 20% straight now. And while in the past, gay men loved their "fag hags", I'm seeing the reverse now. Before, gay men invited these straight women into the gay bars but now they're invading them on their own, so the gays are feeling a loss of control over the situation. And now they're bringing their straight boyfriends too. The women are so often loud and obnoxious and it has driven a lot of gay men away from the bars. Ironic huh? And the women oftentimes hate to see guys hookup and will cock-block you HARD. I have had women literally step between me and another guy.

    • They're still playing the same tired dance music. Yes, it's "new" music but it still sounds exactly like it did 20 years ago. People have incredible music apps such as Spotify right in their hands and are able to discover exciting, fresh new music on their own. Then you walk into a club and hear another lame remix and nobody wants to hear that shit anymore.

    • The main source of entertainment is still drag shows. It's obvious people are tired of that shit but they just keep on hosting them. Once again....the same fucking shit they were doing 20 years ago. Hell, probably 40 years ago. One of my best friends works at the main dance club here (or used to be.) I go visit him often, even though I hate the club itself. They're always complaining about how people have stopped coming so they put on MORE drag shows and they stand around wondering why no one shows up. They're just doing the same thing over and over even after realizing it doesn't work.

    • And yes, hookup/dating apps are adding to the problem.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2016 3:47 PM GMT
    Bylt4U said...I'd like to add two more points. First, the demographics of our society is skewing older. The Baby Boomers are now retiring! That bulge of youth in the 60's to the mid 80's is long gone. Our one child [if that] families has created an inverted pyramid. There just aren't that many young people these days...


    Excepting that you can't just go by births because also we've immigration, so it turns out that....

    http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/04/25/millennials-overtake-baby-boomers/
    Millennials overtake Baby Boomers as America’s largest generation

    Millennials have surpassed Baby Boomers as the nation’s largest living generation, according to population estimates released this month by the U.S. Census Bureau. Millennials, whom we define as those ages 18-34 in 2015, now number 75.4 million, surpassing the 74.9 million Baby Boomers (ages 51-69). And Generation X (ages 35-50 in 2015) is projected to pass the Boomers in population by 2028.

    The Millennial generation continues to grow as young immigrants expand its ranks...

    With immigration adding more numbers to its group than any other, the Millennial population is projected to peak in 2036 at 81.1 million. Thereafter the oldest Millennial will be at least 56 years of age and mortality is projected to outweigh net immigration. By 2050 there will be a projected 79.2 million Millennials...


    paulflexes said...With all that in mind, there's no longer a need for gay dance clubs like there used to be. Now they're mainly filled with closet guys who are afraid to be themselves at a regular dance club...just like the old days.


    Be careful who you denigrate & what you wish for. Unless you'd prefer more competition for the str8s you try to seduce.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    May 09, 2016 3:49 PM GMT
    Radd saidNot sure about other cities but this is what I see happening here in New Orleans:

    • The gay bars here (not just the dance clubs) are about 20% straight now. And while in the past, gay men loved their "fag hags", I'm seeing the reverse now. Before, gay men invited these straight women into the gay bars but now they're invading them on their own, so the gays are feeling a lose of control over the situation. And now they're bringing their straight boyfriends too. The women are so often loud and obnoxious and it has driven a lot of gay men away from the bars. Ironic huh? And the women oftentimes hate to see guys hookup and will cock-block you HARD. I have had women literally step between me and another guy.

    • They're still playing the same tired dance music. Yes, it's "new" music but it still sounds exactly like it did 20 years ago. People have incredible music apps such as Spotify right in their hand and are able to discover exciting, fresh new music on their own. Then you walk into a club and here another lame remix and nobody wants to hear that shit anymore.

    • The main source of entertainment is still drag shows. It's obvious people are tired of that shit but they just keep on hosting them. Once again....the same fucking shit they were doing 20 years ago. Hell, probably 40 years ago. One of my best friends works at the main dance club here (or used to be.) I go visit him often, even though I hate the club itself. They're always complaining about how people have stopped coming so they put on MORE drag shows and they stand around wondering why no one shows up. They're just doing the same thing over and over even after realizing it doesn't work.

    • And yes, hookup/dating apps are adding to the problem.

    I know the New Orleans clubs and this is absolutely true. I don't know why they think it is just wonderful to stop people who are dancing and drinking and having fun and think it's good idea for everyone to just stand around while some half-baked drag queen acts bitchy. I just leave. Maybe they sell more drinks while that is going on.

    But straight clubs are experiencing the same thing. No one dances-- they just stand around and watch either a band or each other. How boring! If I'm going to stand around at least give me a pool cue or phoosball or ping-pong. I went to a straight club in Atlanta with my son that is popular with athletes and a DJ was playing music and everyone was standing around looking at their phones.

    It's an addiction. Seriously. The brain has been hardwired to get an endorphin rush from looking at the phone. It doesn't even have to be about a dating app or anything interesting. The brain demands it.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    May 16, 2016 2:55 PM GMT
    Similar to London.
    In general night time venues are under pressure due to real estate prices and new condos being built which create noise complaints.
    The night time economy has dropped by a third in London.

    A lot of gay venues have closed but there are a few good ones around but definitely a lot less choice.

    On Friday night I went to 4 bars and 1 club in London. Most were pretty lackluster, I had fun because I got bit tipsy but there's nowhere that I'm dying to get to next week.

    I'm also noticing the one-off parties are a lot better, they are more creative and seem to attract the real party goers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 06, 2016 2:31 AM GMT
    mx5guynj saidUnfortunately a majority of gays have an addiction to their smartphones and lack the interpersonal skills necessary to meet someone new in person. You cannot get to know someone by texting or social media. The facial expressions, body language and voice intonation simply isn't there. icon_sad.gif


    Yes, We're interacting less with each other in a way that involves body language.
    But I see that changing while we incorporate smartphones .

    I can imagine a smartphone guiding me to persons of affinity---
    Then I have to see how they move with me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 06, 2016 5:50 AM GMT

    The phone is extremely annoying now.

    Even among my family in the Midwest, we don't talk anymore! Last time I called my brother and left a message, he did call back but he asked, "was it something important"?, im like WTF icon_confused.gif, My own fag hag up in Seattle, we don't talk either anymore, every dam conversation is a text!. My tea party sister and I exchanged harsh 'texting' words, last time we 'spoke'. I think this texting instead of talking is just getting out of hand icon_redface.gif

    Any other conversations are done on that FB thing, come to think of it, I haven't really 'talked' to somebody in a few years!


    I am very glad we still have the gay bar, club and even the occasional circuit party, I would hate to lose these altogether, the phone, social media and apps are turning many into social introverts, or are already an introverts best friend, but what about us extroverts? I would much rather see and meet in person, you cant kiss the hot bar tender over the phone icon_confused.gif
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Aug 06, 2016 5:50 AM GMT
    I guess meeting people that have 3 dimensions is a thing of the past?