Do most gay men have unrealistic standards

  • zelon1

    Posts: 81

    May 04, 2016 3:01 AM GMT
    Every gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.
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    May 04, 2016 3:47 AM GMT
    zelon1 saidEvery gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.

    I browse profiles on the gay apps, and most guys have these long and ridiculous list of things they're looking for in a guy. It's like, good luck with your 20 cats.
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    May 04, 2016 3:51 AM GMT
    You're 19... You don't have enough data to make that claim.
  • RaulMoonPride

    Posts: 107

    May 04, 2016 3:59 AM GMT
    Gay people doesnt understand that they are regular people. I may be 21 but I have met dudes way more immature than me. I know that we are called "fairies" but we live in a fairy tail and try to escape reality. Don't worry dude, I have a phrase for you: "you are a complete guy yourself, half oranges doesn't exist because no one can fullfill your heart or make you happy, you love someone as a whole , not in halves".
  • Corby

    Posts: 78

    May 04, 2016 10:18 AM GMT
    Unbothered saidYes! Many are mentally I'll and suffer from delusions of grandeur. Most are old and single and will remain single until they return to dust.


    Something similar I'm thinking about it icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 04, 2016 1:02 PM GMT
    I keep reading threads like this but irl I don't actually see this happen. Sure most guys would prefer a muscular hunk just like straight guys would prefer a skinny beautiful model, but in reality most gay dudes I've come across just settle and hump any willing guy just like a straight dude would a chick. I know some 300 lb gay guy who actually gets laid; he'd never pull off a girl in his life. The guys he sleeps with aren't quality(on drugs or overweight) but it's something.

    It could just be my location but from what I've seen gay guys are less picky and willing to date outside their age range, race, and body type than straight people
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    May 04, 2016 2:12 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    The guy who comes up with the phone pheromones app is gonna make a fortune.

    Try meeting people in person. See if that works for ya.
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    May 04, 2016 3:34 PM GMT
    Gay hookup sites and apps are full of the most broken people out there. However, if you're truly getting rejected 100% of the time, you could be part of the problem. On the upside, you're dodging a shitload of drama and STIs.
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    May 04, 2016 4:14 PM GMT
    zelon1 saidEvery gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.


    Don't forget , they also dismissed everyone older than 45 ...
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    May 04, 2016 7:35 PM GMT
    Yea they do. Bottom? Top? Masc? Fem? White? Black?
    Taking that 10or so% of gays in the world and minimizing it to 1%
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    May 04, 2016 7:36 PM GMT
    Jack'd/Grindr =

    Gonorrhea
    Syphilis
    Herpes
    HIV
    HPV
    Hepatitis
    Liars
    Married (to women) men
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    May 04, 2016 7:55 PM GMT
    neffa said
    zelon1 saidEvery gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.


    Don't forget , they also dismissed everyone older than 45 ...


    Not when you're packing, and a top...

  • May 04, 2016 8:22 PM GMT
    neffa said
    zelon1 saidEvery gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.


    Don't forget , they also dismissed everyone older than 45 ...


    So true. Even the ones who are over 45 dismiss anyone over 45. I see so many ads out there and know so many people who are over 45 yet want someone much younger. Sometimes these folks have a small range of ages they want, like 18 - 25. Then they wonder why they are alone.
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    May 04, 2016 11:29 PM GMT
    I wouldn't worry about those guys, they have their own insecurities. Plus, being with a man who is that judgmental, wouldn't make for a quality relationship or friend.

    You seem like a nice, genuine guy. That's always the first thing to impress me, (there are so many miserable people out there it's sad).

    Secondly, you write properly online when most people don't. That impresses me as well, it shows you care about how you represent yourself.

    Thirdly, you have a great smile!

    It will work out for you, trust me. Just be safe and have confidence in yourself. If a man doesn't want to be friends (or whatever) with you, look at it this way; it's his loss and you can surely do better!


    Best of luck!icon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gificon_smile.gif
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    May 04, 2016 11:38 PM GMT
    zelon1 saidEvery gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.


    You are not caucasian so you have no hope.
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    May 04, 2016 11:41 PM GMT
    Unbothered saidYes! Many are mentally I'll and suffer from delusions of grandeur. Most are old and single and will remain single until they return to dust.


    Like the plethora of single men on this site who constantly whine that they can't find a man.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    May 05, 2016 1:10 AM GMT
    zelon1 saidEvery gay guy wants a cute dude w/ a perfect body. If you don't meet those standards you're invisible. I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.


    So work out and diet. Gay men are physical creatures. You won't change that, but you can change yourself. Nothing wrong with improving yourself along the way.

    By the way, it's not insecure or judgmental to reject someone based on their body type. Everyone's entitled to their preferences. I personally would never date anyone who can't be bothered to take care of themselves or are actively engaged in destroying their bodies - that includes the overweight or obese, smokers, alcoholics, drug abusers, etc. Maybe I'll die alone, but I'd rather that, than settle.
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 364

    May 05, 2016 2:37 AM GMT
    zelon1 said I get rejected 100% of the time on jack'd and grindr.

    -well look where you're shopping! not exactly inner-beauty-matters.com icon_rolleyes.gif
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    May 05, 2016 2:55 AM GMT
    Most have high standards - and most have no business having high standards.
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    May 05, 2016 3:10 AM GMT
    I see both. Some guys have no standards at all.
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    May 05, 2016 3:14 AM GMT
    Just FYI, I personally used to be on apps like that ONLY for validation and would never respond to anyone...So, keep in my mind that those are not avenues for dating, but merely fulfilling a quick physical need...more like a meat market if you will.
    We all get rejected, trust me...It does build character..also, take a look at the type of guys you go after and make sure you're in that "circle" as well ie. muscled...scruffy...toned...twink...otter...bear...
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    May 05, 2016 4:49 AM GMT
    Who exactly wakes up in the morning saying "Today I'm going for an ugly dude with major figure flaws!"?

    Rest assured, everyone eventually settles.
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    May 05, 2016 6:07 AM GMT
    FollowingRivers saidJust FYI, I personally used to be on apps like that ONLY for validation and would never respond to anyone...So, keep in my mind that those are not avenues for dating, but merely fulfilling a quick physical need...more like a meat market if you will.
    We all get rejected, trust me...It does build character..also, take a look at the type of guys you go after and make sure you're in that "circle" as well ie. muscled...scruffy...toned...twink...otter...bear...




    This is why I'm so glad Scruff has an "Insights" tab. It tells you how often a guy responds to messages, the ages he responds to and even how hairy the guys are he responds to. There are a few guys on there who respond zero percent of the time, and I always wonder why the fuck are they even there.

    As far as making sure you're "in that circle", this is totally false. My best friend taught me something a while back and it completely changed my dating life. He told me "no one is ever out of your league." Of course I completely rejected this idea at first but he was right. The minute I put that into action, my number of dates more than doubled. You never know what the other person is going to be into and not everyone wants a clone of themselves. I now hit on guys that I used to think were completely out of my league and I've been shocked at how many respond favorably. And some of them admitted to being intimidated to talk to ME.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    May 05, 2016 7:29 AM GMT
    at the end of the day people like what they like and don't like what they don't like. superficiality happens regardless of orientation. think about it, in the media they have pictures of hot girls and hot guys to sell pretty much all products. they don't typically pick non-sex symbols to launch campaigns. they want you to "aspire" to get or be like the people you see. sex sells. same at gay clubs, do they have chubby go-go night. no. all the advertisements feature "hot" looking guys. finally men in general are more visual creatures and by nature are a bit less likely to want to settle down. women on the other hand are more relationship oriented. for many men, sex is merely a way to release energy. this release can turn into emotional ties later but for many guys, sex is just something to get off. for many woman, sex is a the expression of love or some deeper feelings they have for the person. sooooo, if you think about it, you have hot guys that can have sex with other hot guys and those other hot guys are not going to say no or ask for a commitment first, so the odds are people are going to want the hottest thing.

    there are guys that are not like this, but the number lean more toward the other way.
    if you take care of your body and and appearance and attire and have a lot to offer, i do not see why it would be surprisingly that a person like that would want to be with someone that is also on the same wavelength. it's human nature. doesn't mean you should go out and work out just so you can meet someone who thinks you are worthy. but it does mean that people that your odds of attracting someone like that are going to be less. even really hot girls usually want other hot guys. they may take a non-hot guy if he has money but usually a girl that is a 10 is going to want other 10s.

    the best thing you can do is be yourself and be your best self you can be. if that means shedding some weight because you know it's not healthy for you, then work towards perfecting yourself the best you can. you're not doing it for someone else, but yourself.

    if someone doesn't like you for who you are, then that's their loss and quite possible your protection from some of their crap you wont have to deal with.

  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    May 06, 2016 4:40 PM GMT
    Radd said
    FollowingRivers saidJust FYI, I personally used to be on apps like that ONLY for validation and would never respond to anyone...So, keep in my mind that those are not avenues for dating, but merely fulfilling a quick physical need...more like a meat market if you will.
    We all get rejected, trust me...It does build character..also, take a look at the type of guys you go after and make sure you're in that "circle" as well ie. muscled...scruffy...toned...twink...otter...bear...




    This is why I'm so glad Scruff has an "Insights" tab. It tells you how often a guy responds to messages, the ages he responds to and even how hairy the guys are he responds to. There are a few guys on there who respond zero percent of the time, and I always wonder why the fuck are they even there.

    As far as making sure you're "in that circle", this is totally false. My best friend taught me something a while back and it completely changed my dating life. He told me "no one is ever out of your league." Of course I completely rejected this idea at first but he was right. The minute I put that into action, my number of dates more than doubled. You never know what the other person is going to be into and not everyone wants a clone of themselves. I now hit on guys that I used to think were completely out of my league and I've been shocked at how many respond favorably. And some of them admitted to being intimidated to talk to ME.


    I like this view. I don't think of someone being out of my league and I don't really think leagues are useful as there are more qualities than looks alone. On rare occasions I have been intimidated by guys I liked but it wasn't just on their looks.