Dating and the sly art of the 'vanishing act'

  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    May 08, 2016 8:11 PM GMT
    So I have been seeing a few threads about guys who have been ghosted by another guy they have gone out with a few times, who seems totally into you, but suddenly fell off the face of the planet. You’re probably wondering why. You start delusional justifications like” Well, he said next week was going to be super busy” or “ Did he say he had a family event this weekend, and was going out of town?” and then the vanishing act becomes a pattern and you are never given an absolute reason for the Caper behavior.

    So, for your mental ease, If you’ve been ghosted on, I’m truly sorry, but take solace in the reality that we have all been there, and they ghosted on themselves...they chose not to show up, be heard, be an adult and just say “Hey ——, it’s been good but I’m heading in a different direction.”

    Like can't we all just grow up?
  • Chargermuscle

    Posts: 9

    May 10, 2016 12:20 AM GMT
    Thank you for your comments. I can't tell you how often this occurs.icon_cool.gif
  • Wendigo9

    Posts: 426

    May 10, 2016 6:56 PM GMT
    It's called infatuation, where one person is interested and doesn't realize the other isn't, happens alot these days. The only way people can get over it, is if someone ends the one-sided relationship, might hurt though.
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1171

    May 11, 2016 12:46 AM GMT
    It's a sign of very poor character to leave someone hanging without an explanation.
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    May 11, 2016 12:32 PM GMT
    VP_TN saidIt's a sign of very poor character to leave someone hanging without an explanation.


    +1

    I totally agree... Part of being confident and having great communication skills is being able to say in a cordial way that you're not interested. I think that the ghost act is quite class-less, yet most of the time, these guys come running back after a few weeks as though nothing happened.

    Cheers,

    Sean
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2016 8:08 PM GMT
    VP_TN saidIt's a sign of very poor character to leave someone hanging without an explanation.


    Gay guys that have gone out "a few times" most likely fucked at some point, so it could also be a sign that the sex was just wack. How do you word that explanation without offending someone? Such an explanation really isn't even necessary unless you're open to trying again.
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    May 11, 2016 9:46 PM GMT
    It's a sign of cowardice in most situations. Communication is for adults and for the strong and confident. The vanishing act, underneath it all, is for the immature, weak and insecure. A guy hiding behind his phone, keyboard or silence leaving a person to guess is a pussy. Tough conversations are for the tough. Sure it feels awful to hurt someone's feelings. But avoiding the person still hurts their feelings so it's totally childish. Weak guys act this way.