Visible attitude

  • giodude

    Posts: 311

    May 11, 2016 8:10 PM GMT
    Attitude is the way in which you project your presence, usually verbally. But apparently mine is physical too.

    I've been told by a few friends that they're intimidated by me (straight male friends, not female friends). Some guys have said they find my attitude sexy (usually older, or bigger men, through dating sites like tinder or grindr) but people who know me personally say that they find it either amusing or intimidating and unless I put effort into sounding friendly and actively command myself to smile, my default tone of voice and manner of speaking has oftentimes been interpreted accusatory or authoritarian (although people do as I say, much to my delight.

    The disconcerting part is when strangers (even on RJ) keep on commenting on my attitude even though they don't know me. It's somehow visible just by looking at me

    People have told me that they knew that I had an attitude before I even interacted with them, and they had never heard me speak to anyone else before. They just looked at me and somehow saw it.

    Now, I do have an attitude. That's undeniable. However I'm wondering if anybody could shed some light on how on earth an attitude is physically visible, especially through a photograph which lacks vocalisation of body language.

    I don't know whether this is a positive or negative thing.
    Enlighten me.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1827

    May 11, 2016 8:50 PM GMT
    I pretty much go by body language and vocal tone IRL. It's a good indicator of what a person may come off as. Online, it's definitely harder to tell unless you post video blogs or something like that. Through pictures, again, I'd go body language.
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    May 11, 2016 9:18 PM GMT
    maybe it's your clothing or your pose in that particular photo that suggests you've got a certain type of attitude? I don't like to make assumptions about people without knowing them well, but I'm guessing something about your appearance is making people think "whoa! watch out for this one!"

    In real life I sometimes get told I seem down and unhappy, even though I'm not down or unhappy. I'm certainly not bubbly and don't get excited easily, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I consider myself laid back and reserved. But some people don't seem to get that.
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    May 11, 2016 11:01 PM GMT
    I usually can tell by the positioning of the eyebrows. If the eyebrows look like they're trying to reach the person's hairline, then I know there's some attitude there.
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    May 12, 2016 12:05 AM GMT
    When people tell you that you have attitude it's more often than not not a good thing.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16412

    May 12, 2016 4:23 PM GMT
    Attitude can conveyed either visually or via actions.
    I've always said, if you look great in a physical sense, portraying yourself as confident and genuine helps. The challenge can be, what comes across one way to one, may not to another.... I've been told I'm remarkably friendly, but have heard about a certain attitude (meaning ego I assume).
    I think being comfortable with you are is a great start.
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    May 13, 2016 2:45 AM GMT
    In my experience with this... "Attitude" usually means that people PERCEIVE that you're going to be combative or aggressive in proving your point and/or getting your way. When it comes to interaction, most people prefer a "lets try to agree and only use aggression when necessary" approach and so they look for attitude so that they can avoid you. There are reasons for this but that is a whole nutha topic.

    People will often assume you have attitude if you're bold in your style, words and expressions. They also will sometimes assume you have an attitude if they perceive you as not being cooperative even if you're not bold (as seen in passive aggressiveness). If you care, you can ask people who you trust and respect about how you come across. But take it in stride and be your own person because so much of success and happiness is about being who you are.

    Just realize that perception (like beauty) is in the eye of the beholder. A person might be quiet in social situations, but people might assume he/she is stuck up, or self-centered or rude or unfriendly when in actuality the person is just really shy around people they don't know well. I see this a lot.
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    May 13, 2016 2:49 AM GMT
    People often think I have an attitude when I don't....I'm just very direct and to the point so I don't bullshit with my words. I'm usually in a good mood until someone does or says something stupid...thennnnnn I may get an attitude, but I'm always direct whether in a good mood or bad mood. So I can relate 100% to you...
  • interesting

    Posts: 835

    May 14, 2016 3:33 AM GMT
    My attitude isn't portrayed physically at all. My eyebrows are pointing downward in a very sharp slope, so if I keep a stoic face, most of the time people have come up to me and ask if everything is okay since my expressionless face reads as extremely angry/about to murder someone/terrorist. It's not just plain angry, people read it as something is about to go down.

    So in public and at work (since I work in retail), I have to come off as friendly and constantly slightly raising my eyebrows and cheeks (sometimes, when I see a nice guy, I'm willing to raise all 4 cheeks icon_biggrin.gif) to smile. Usually my expressionless face and sarcastic answers combined to be lethal to anybody that tries to approach. Eh, c'est la vie!