Should I tell?

  • Longnight828

    Posts: 24

    May 12, 2016 12:53 AM GMT
    OK so here's the deal. I am straight and engaged to a woman who I love. But the problem is I find sex with males and females turn me on. I am not attracted to men other than sexually. And I'm very attracted to woman emotionally and sexually. That's why I'm engaged to a female. But she has no idea. And I've been hooking up with men for about a year now. Do I tell her and hope she understands or keep what's not asked not answered. I feel bad but I would never leave her for a man or another woman. But I also don't know if she would be OK with my bisexuality.
  • Edepic

    Posts: 98

    May 12, 2016 2:30 AM GMT
    I wonder how you would feel if the situation were reversed? If you married a woman and she was having sex with other woman without you knowing it would you feel betrayed years later if it was revealed? If sharing your wife with another woman was something you were comfortable with, then why not find a bisexual woman who would be more accepting of your interest in men?
    Btw, having sex with men and woman does not add up to straight, it's called bisexual.
  • TombRaider

    Posts: 124

    May 12, 2016 2:51 AM GMT
    Like the above poster said, you should have mentioned this before even getting engaged with the woman. Now a year later (I'm guessing) you want to tell her that you've been with men while you two have been together. Personally I don't think she will take it well. How would you feel if you were in here situation. If you know your BI you should have told her the day you were going to start dating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2016 5:43 AM GMT
    You put yourself in a difficult position so to speak. The moment you and her became serious/started dating, you should have mentioned your sexual attraction to men. Cheating on her is not fair to her. I'm not saying this to judge or cast stones at you, just letting you know my opinion on the matter. You should tell her as soon as possible. You never know how it could work out, but she does deserve respect and the truth.

    I hope it works out! Best of luck!
  • Twozera12

    Posts: 20

    May 12, 2016 7:26 AM GMT
    You have two clear choices:
    1) Do not tell her. Stop hooking up with males because you have a fiance!
    2) Tell her. She will end the engagement.

    It doesn't matter if you are bisexual and like men and women. What matters is you are devoted and don't cheat on them. You clearly did. But you are lucky because she does not know.

    If you love her- stop your whoring. I don't even know why you would dare to even do that when you are engaged! That's just so wrong... but you have another chance since she does not know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2017 7:55 AM GMT
    I was married for four years didn't cheat but honesty is a must if she doesn't understand she's not right for you or you for her