Decoding - Gay Add's

  • ScotXY

    Posts: 117

    Feb 10, 2009 1:14 AM GMT
    DECODING GAY MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
    30-ish = 39, early 40’s
    Adventurous = Slept with everyone at the bar.
    Athletic = Twink
    Average looking = Tore Up!
    Slightly Stocky = Moooooooo
    Seeking Older = Gold Digger
    Hot = Pathological Liar
    Curious = Closet Queen
    Emotionally Secure = On Prescription Meds
    Free Spirit = On Illegal Meds
    Party Boy = Meth Addict
    Pig = Has Diseases Not Known To Scientists Yet
    Kinky = Serial Killer
    Total Top = For $100 More You Can Fuck My Brains Out
    Friendship First = Former Slut
    New-Age = Hippy
    Slightly Hairy = Bear or Cub
    Socialite = Club Whore
    Old-Fashioned = Troll
    Open-Minded = Desperate
    Outgoing = Loud & Embarrassing
    Professional = Bitch
    Opinionated = Asshole
    More To Love = Very Fat
    Large Frame = Crazy Fat
    Vanilla Sex = Boring
    Great Personality = Ugly
    Social Drinker = Alcoholic
    Bath House Lover = Has Herpes
    Seeking Soul Mate = Stalker

    GAY MATH
    Sugar Daddy - House Boy = Lonely Man In Empty House
    Crackwhore x Bathhouse = Afterparty
    Bear + Twinky + Cub - Lube = Dry Hairy Manwhich
    Old Troll + Fairy = Lord Of The (Cock) Rings
    Princess + Queen = Bump Butts & Giggle

    GAY DICTIONARY (Fem/Submissive)
    01 Yes = No!
    02 No! NO! = Yes!
    03 Maybe = Fuck Me!
    04 We need = I want!
    05 I am sorry = You'll be sorry!
    06 We need to talk = You're in trouble!
    07 Sure, go ahead = You better not!
    08 Do what you want = You will pay for this later!
    09 I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    10 You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    GAY DICTIONARY (Butch/Dominate)
    01 I am hungry = I want to have sex in your kitchen.
    02 I am sleepy = Can I sleep at your place after we have sex?
    03 I am tired = Can we have sex after I take a nap?
    04 Nice outfit = Nice ass!
    05 I love you = Let's have sex now!
    06 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    07 May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    08 Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    09 Want to go to a dinner/movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10 Can I take you home? = I'd like to have sex with you.
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    Feb 10, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
    LOL Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
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    Feb 10, 2009 2:53 AM GMT
    agreed.... all the bases seem to be correctly covered.
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    Feb 10, 2009 2:59 AM GMT
    damn, youve eliminated any actual "good" qualities of guys. So true for the most part though lol
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    Feb 10, 2009 3:13 AM GMT
    "Great Personality = Ugly"

    Umm... lolicon_redface.gif
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    Feb 10, 2009 3:13 AM GMT
    metafor saidThe vulgarity is not surprising, but equally distressing, nonetheless. I wish gay men would get some class.


    icon_rolleyes.gif

    metafor said
    So I post something that no one seems to agree with, and that makes me a troll? Fine. Yes, a fucking troll. And I'll troll all up and down these m'fucking threads until satisfied.

    Anyway, I'll kindly tell all of you to fuck off as I spit in your faces. Repeatedly.


    Yes, very distressing. I wish they showed more class... and actually meant it.
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    Feb 10, 2009 3:17 AM GMT
    "08 Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you."

    Guilty icon_redface.gificon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 10, 2009 3:34 AM GMT
    metafor said

    And besides, I think I got my point across pretty clearly, so I have no regrets.


    And what cause would that be, prithee tell?

    Just a note on something that inexplicably escaped your superior intellect and meticulous powers of observation: The humorous interpretations are vulgar, the actual gay ad one-liners shown are not.

    To quote thy favorite word, oh bitchy royal highness who thinks posh wording = sainthood, Whut Evah! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 10, 2009 3:46 AM GMT


    Metafor said,


    "I wish gay men would get some class. "

    Set an example. Begin with yourself. You display none.
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    Feb 10, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    metafor saidThe vulgarity is not surprising, but equally distressing, nonetheless. I wish gay men would get some class.


    You act like you've never seen one of these joke type things before. Or does it hit too close to home?
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    Feb 10, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    metafor said

    So, I used that word once in response to you, and apparently you're still bitter about it. So be it.

    But now I'll update your lexicon: sit-and-spin. Be sure to quote me on that in future responses.



    high-horse.jpg

    Remember, you see only the tops of our heads, but we see your snot. Eh, concealed?
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    Feb 10, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    And I didn't say it was a person. Merci for the confirmation, mon ami.
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    Feb 10, 2009 4:49 AM GMT
    metafor said
    Sedative saidAnd I didn't say it was a person. Merci for the confirmation, mon ami.


    You didn't say it was a person, but others did and have confirmed that name. Sorry to burst your bubble, detective sedative, but you aren't the only one who has accused me of being someone that I'm not, so just shut up about it already. Damn...



    I do believe I detect sputtering. What's wrong? Afraid to use vulgarity? Hitting too close? icon_rolleyes.gif

    It's been fun. But alas, I must bid thee farewell and rest, sweet princess. Careful not to lean down too far on us mortals, oh wise one, you might fall down and break your cervical vertebrae. Salut.
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    Feb 10, 2009 4:49 AM GMT


    metafor you won't be able to find a profile that's deleted. If you want to see who it is, look at your own posts littering this site, and check out your own profile..
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    Feb 10, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif........icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 10, 2009 5:02 AM GMT
    here is an update for the gay lexicon, based upon my most recent experience over the last 2 weeks:

    "i want a smart, attractive, attentive, kind man to love me" = "i want several douche nozzles to take turns using me. alot."

    "i want you to tell me what you're feeling/thinking" = "but i won't tell you until it's too late to do anything right to please me"

    "i want you to be open with me, b/c i respect honesty" = "i'm a liar"

    "you are intimidating to me" = "but now i have bragging rights for bedding you"

    "i want to fall in love" = "with someone who does not exist"

    "meeting a nice guy was like, WHOA" = "but that won't be enough to keep you"

    "all my past relationships have been terrible" = "and i will punish you for being nice to me and run back to my ex's, because of the familiarity of misery"

    "i want to wait to get to know you" = "i'm impatient for you to fuck me"

    "i'm emotionally fucked up" = "i'm emotionally fucked up"