Wild Experience Collides With Inexperience

  • interesting

    Posts: 577

    May 15, 2016 3:01 AM GMT
    If you don't want to read all this, jump straight to the bottom bold part and there is a question and advice needed.

    So I went to a Harvey Milk Festival today in my hometown, I was a volunteer and it was fun, tiring, but exciting. I was in the volunteer booth just sitting there as an info person, and at some point, I realized a guy was staring at me. This does not happen often (or at all), at first, I thought he was looking beyond me, but many hours passed before I realized he was staring at me, so I stared back and smiled a bit, flirting why not.

    And when he walked away looking back at me constantly, guess I picked up on the social cue and followed so we got away a bit and we exchanged pleasantries, he kept saying I was beautiful (gosh it's been so long since I receive a compliment for my looks, I was giddy) and I told him he was hot. We exchanged numbers and parted, a few more hours past, and he again led me away from the booth, and we talked, and he said he has a car, it's a little small, do I want to have fun. He said he has a friend, we could do a little threeway. I jumped at the opportunity, it's been TWO YEARS since I've been with any guy, so yeah, I was sooo ready.

    So I kept thinking this was too good to be true, I may be getting robbed any minute here since they were both much bigger than me. And all three of us got into the backseat. Making out, and yeah, in public (ugh, so shameful), at some point yes some sucking was involved, and then the bigger guy that I exchanged numbers with said something in Spanish to the other guy, and so he got out of the car and stood by to block the window (ugh, again, yes shameful).

    So I was having fun with this guy, and he tried very very hard to penetrate me, I would not let him, I made the excuse of no condom (which actually is true since I would not do it without it), but he offered to go back to his place, I also declined (excuse: parents expecting me). But the truth is I am a virgin down there (I've tried topping before), and oh my god, when he tried, it hurt like effing hell!! Like the pain is excruciating and he is just trying to poke me, and I didn't clean because I wasn't expecting to get with anyone here. I kept saying he was too big, but he kept saying no he's not, lol, and he kept saying the things we could with me.

    My question is though, since I'm a virgin bottom, what do I need to prepare myself to be able to take it? Like at some point, I don't want pain down there. Anything to do to be prepared? If I can do anything, how long would it take for me to get used to it?

    Sorry for the long post, it's been a while since I've been with ANY guy so I'm just excited. And we're now texting...in Spanish...which I have to translate...every time. Already tried to text him in English, and he said he doesn't understand.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    May 22, 2016 6:21 AM GMT
    You may see yourself as very inexperienced but you did manage a potentially dangerous situation very well.

    The dude who is trying to bareback in this time and age raises a big red flag.

    Any half-experienced top out there would have also gathered from the context that you were not on the 'prepared' side. It took you very long time to actually hook up. You did not have any condoms on you (or at least were not offering any). The small car kinda threesome with one guy out there blocking the view is hot but not a very good setting for a serious anal sex with a guy you have never tried it with before.

    Search these forums of simply google it and you'll find lots of information how to prepare yourself for bottoming. Quite a few guys on the RJ also suggested playing with a dildo before to get used to the feeling of being penetrated, etc.

    His English may or may not be very good. But he is imposing his Spanish on you, leaving you to cope with the translation. He is probably signalling that he wants to dominate, and that by bottoming for him, you'll have to agree to his rules. The chances are that you'll have to go along these lines if you want to keep this thing going.

    SC
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    May 22, 2016 1:34 PM GMT
    interesting said
    My question is though, since I'm a virgin bottom, what do I need to prepare myself to be able to take it? Like at some point, I don't want pain down there. Anything to do to be prepared? If I can do anything, how long would it take for me to get used to it?

    Sorry for the long post, it's been a while since I've been with ANY guy so I'm just excited. And we're now texting...in Spanish...which I have to translate...every time. Already tried to text him in English, and he said he doesn't understand.

    Use lots of a sex lube that's safe with latex condoms. The container labeling should tell you. Never use a product containing petroleum, like Vaseline, which dissolves latex. Most lubes are available in small "travel-size" bottles that'll fit in a car glove box (not for too long in Florida heat), and in a small shoulder bag, or some come in single-use tear open packets you can carry in your pocket.

    You want lube because it can ease any discomfort (and expect at least some your first few times), and also reduce the possibility of getting a torn rectum, a prime cause of HIV transmission in a bottom. Even wearing a condom is not 100% safe, and torn condoms do happen.

    If he can't text in English, how were you communicating in person? Could he speak rudimentary English? I wonder what his history in the US is, and his permanence here.

    To add my comments to SilverRRCloud, it's rather a Latin trait to view a bottom as being in a submissive female role, and a top as being the dominant male. You may get sex out a connection like this, but maybe not a very satisfying relationship. In fact, some tops don't even think of themselves as gay, but rather as a straight having easy sex with eager guys. In their minds only the bottom is actually gay. So that's gonna be a 1-sided deal.

    Plus this guy must be rather selfish if he wasn't gonna wear a condom. Either he trusts that being a top is sufficiently low risk for him (it's safer than a bottom but not entirely safe), or he already has HIV and feels he has little to lose. So like SilverRRCloud I see a red flag. Actually, I see several.
  • interesting

    Posts: 577

    May 24, 2016 8:42 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    Search these forums of simply google it and you'll find lots of information how to prepare yourself for bottoming. Quite a few guys on the RJ also suggested playing with a dildo before to get used to the feeling of being penetrated, etc.

    His English may or may not be very good. But he is imposing his Spanish on you, leaving you to cope with the translation. He is probably signalling that he wants to dominate, and that by bottoming for him, you'll have to agree to his rules. The chances are that you'll have to go along these lines if you want to keep this thing going.

    SC
    Thank you much for the advice! I tried to search on Google, but not a lot of useful information out there, which is so strange since this is not like some new thing. I had also thought about buying the dildo thing, but since I don't live alone, I don't want it to be discovered lol, but I am seriously thinking about getting one.

    And the thing about only texting in Spanish, I had the same exact thought that you did, he's letting me translate the Spanish but would not try to translate my English. And I have to clarify some things, the guy that I'm texting in Spanish was the guy that was outside blocking the car door and this was the same guy that came up to me and said I am "so beautiful" in English. His friend was the one in the car with me trying to penetrate me.

    Art_DecoUse lots of a sex lube that's safe with latex condoms. The container labeling should tell you. Never use a product containing petroleum, like Vaseline, which dissolves latex. Most lubes are available in small "travel-size" bottles that'll fit in a car glove box (not for too long in Florida heat), and in a small shoulder bag, or some come in single-use tear open packets you can carry in your pocket.

    You want lube because it can ease any discomfort (and expect at least some your first few times), and also reduce the possibility of getting a torn rectum, a prime cause of HIV transmission in a bottom. Even wearing a condom is not 100% safe, and torn condoms do happen.

    Thank you for your advice also!! I have heard that about lube too, only use water-based lube instead of vaseline because of the condoms breaking.

    Art_DecoIf he can't text in English, how were you communicating in person? Could he speak rudimentary English? I wonder what his history in the US is, and his permanence here.

    To add my comments to SilverRRCloud, it's rather a Latin trait to view a bottom as being in a submissive female role, and a top as being the dominant male. You may get sex out a connection like this, but maybe not a very satisfying relationship. In fact, some tops don't even think of themselves as gay, but rather as a straight having easy sex with eager guys. In their minds only the bottom is actually gay. So that's gonna be a 1-sided deal.

    When we first spoke, it was all in English, but very simple English, like conversational. We spoke very little when exchanging numbers, that actually made me thought about his status being in US too. He seems like he's my age, but I don't know since he thought I was 21 and I said sure. And there definitely is no relationship here since we've been texting, and there won't be one either, he asks me about being his boyfriend, but I said we can't communicate and when I brought up the FWB, he said he has to ask HIS boyfriend icon_confused.gif

    It's nice that he keeps texting me telling me that he couldn't stop thinking of me, I'm really beautiful, he's obsessed with me, but honestly, at this point, I'm ready for this whole thing to stop and go away, and it seems the texting have stopped for a few days since he had texted me in Spanish everyday after we met.