Chatting Online: Odd questions and comments.

  • May 15, 2016 4:28 PM GMT
    Been talking to a guy in an online dating app. We have met through
    cam a few times so I know he's not a fake profile.I'm a sweet guy
    and I kind of liked him so we would actually be sweet/romantic to each other sending pics, etc.

    Hes from Belgium, studies linguistics and practiced Spanish with me.However the last couple of days he asked some
    strange questions, "would you be mad if I hooked up?" "I feel like I do wrong when I meet other guys." I responded and said I really
    don't see why he would feel bad if we are just chatting. Well two days ago he basically said he couldn't talk to me anymore because he was now in a relationship..He has deleted his scruff, not blocked me, I asked a friend to look he's not there. And we are still facebook friends. icon_question.gif

    I don't understand we were just chatting, how can that be affected by being with somebody else. It might have just been his way to get rid of me, anyhow it kind of makes me feel bad cause I enjoyed the non generic things we would talk about. Did I just get played?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2016 4:43 PM GMT
    People often find they have less time to devote to online friendships when they get a BF as they did when they were single. Also, they often feel like it's almost like cheating if they do.

    My guy has friends (many I haven't met) from when before he and I met and he keeps in touch with them online and by phone. However, I readily admit I'd be jealous if he started formulating new friendships with gay guys I didn't know.
  • mybud

    Posts: 14202

    May 15, 2016 4:48 PM GMT
    Sounds like he has a fetish regarding you getting angry at him for cheating. You need to take these on line conversations with a grain of salt.
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    May 16, 2016 2:21 PM GMT
    There are gay guys who fall in love overnight. They feel that an occasional phone or video chat is in itself a boyfriend relationship. Because they perceive this interaction to be an exclusive bond or a commitment, they form certain expectations (for example, monogamy and exclusivity). Cultural norms and practices sometimes have a part in this as well.
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    May 16, 2016 5:22 PM GMT
    He obviously was on Scruff for something more than practicing Spanish and he felt guilty about it because he was knew it was borderline cheating on his partner. His questions to you were self-confessional. Unless you gave him money or something else of value I don't see how you were played.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    May 16, 2016 6:03 PM GMT
    Nah, you weren't played. He probably just felt a bit guilty because he was warming up to you (or maybe more) and I suspect his boyfriend found out and asked him to stop the online talk. So he did.

  • May 16, 2016 7:14 PM GMT
    Thanks for the replies guys, in regards to what I gave him of value. Well I just admit, I am not one to write sweet messages, but with him I kind of did. Oh well he has a boyfriend now and his facebook is riddled with what he's doing in his relationship. I have a feeling it won't last long, he might like to jump around. Would love for him to message me back one day so I can be the douchebag.