What gets you laid more often? How to improve myself?


  • May 19, 2016 12:02 AM GMT
    Obviously a hot body and a handsome face will basically get you laid with few words. The people that won the genetic lottery have an easy sex life I suppose.

    What can one do to be more attractive? My body is pretty average with two jobs and 5 classes, (one a mini-mester)I've gained about 10 pounds this year. Height 5'7 Weight 147 lbs.

    The closest gym is 40 miles away. I live in the middle of nowhere the population is 600 people. As this school semester is done I can start working on my body, but will it even matter, the guys I am attracted to are toned and they don't seem to look at me even once. My confidence is slowly being shredded by the rejection, all I can think of is getting a better body, nothing I can do about my face.

    I will be leaving the state to college in a few months, and it really worries me that I wont get much sex there, I'm 21 I want to live my life.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    May 19, 2016 12:14 AM GMT

    You can work on a better body no matter what you are doing. Diet is 80% of a better body.

    To keep your muscles in hypertrophy, you can work out fairly infrequently as long as you are eating properly. Will you get great gains like you would if you had more time and energy to invest? Of course not but you can improve right now. No need to wait, and if you do wait, if you let "life" get in the way, you will always have a new reason why you can't workout or eat healthy.


    Also, confidence is helpful. And the shotgun approach. The more confidently you approach more people, the more responses you will have. You will encounter more rejection but that's just the math of it all. No matter how great you are, you aren't going to be everyone's type or meet them at the right moment. So if you're average, it's just that more likely.


    Wear nice clothes, or atleast look like you care, project an image of success and confidence and eventually you'll find someone(s) to fuck that you want to fuck.


    I am sure other people have better specific advice.

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    May 19, 2016 1:04 AM GMT
    SuperCluelessBro saidObviously a hot body and a handsome face will basically get you laid with few words. The people that won the genetic lottery have an easy sex life I suppose.


    Take it from me - being built, handsome, even hung, personable and intelligent - is no guarantee of getting laid, particularly by That Which You Desire, be it ""similar" or "out of one's league."

    My online dating profile reads "Brains & Brawn - seeking similar, but will settle for brawn."

    Not only do respondents lack brawn, but brains since they clearly can't read (not to mention a sense of humor).

    I've concluded that the simple key to getting laid more is to lower your standards.

    When I get there, I'll let ya'll know.
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    May 19, 2016 2:13 AM GMT
    SuperCluelessBro saidObviously a hot body and a handsome face will basically get you laid with few words. The people that won the genetic lottery have an easy sex life I suppose.

    What can one do to be more attractive? My body is pretty average with two jobs and 5 classes, (one a mini-mester)I've gained about 10 pounds this year. Height 5'7 Weight 147 lbs.

    The closest gym is 40 miles away. I live in the middle of nowhere the population is 600 people. As this school semester is done I can start working on my body, but will it even matter, the guys I am attracted to are toned and they don't seem to look at me even once. My confidence is slowly being shredded by the rejection, all I can think of is getting a better body, nothing I can do about my face.

    I will be leaving the state to college in a few months, and it really worries me that I wont get much sex there, I'm 21 I want to live my life.

    21 and going to college? You'll get laid without trying. Everyone is horny at that age. icon_lol.gif
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    May 19, 2016 1:05 PM GMT
    eagermuscle said
    SuperCluelessBro saidObviously a hot body and a handsome face will basically get you laid with few words. The people that won the genetic lottery have an easy sex life I suppose.


    Take it from me - being built, handsome, even hung, personable and intelligent - is no guarantee of getting laid, particularly by That Which You Desire, be it ""similar" or "out of one's league."

    My online dating profile reads "Brains & Brawn - seeking similar, but will settle for brawn."

    Not only do respondents lack brawn, but brains since they clearly can't read (not to mention a sense of humor).

    I've concluded that the simple key to getting laid more is to lower your standards.

    When I get there, I'll let ya'll know.


    Lower your standards, also known as broadening your preferences...

    Just because someone doesn't meet whatever "standards" you set up, doesn't mean they are lower than you. Often times people treat others that way.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 19, 2016 6:57 PM GMT
    Leaving the state to go to college is your BEST move.
    It will increase the dating pool, from 600 to hundreds of thousands.
    Then, all you have to do is hit the gym REGULARLY, learn how to do the exercises properly, and push yourself to lift heavier weights.
    Most guys are more attracted to a hot body than to a hot face...
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    May 19, 2016 6:59 PM GMT
    If you are just looking to get laid more, you need to cast a wide net and turn down no one. But the more you narrow your standards and narrow down what you will do sexually, the more you shrink your pool of candidates. If you're fully vers and open to any type of guy, you will have wayyy more candidates to choose from than if you are a "total top, only into masculine, white twinks" for example.

    Having as best a body as you can have will also dramatically increase the pool of people who are attracted to you. The closer your body looks like an average body, the more competition you have.
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    May 19, 2016 7:16 PM GMT
    What's the name of that date rape drug?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    May 19, 2016 8:36 PM GMT
    Two weeks ago when you joined RJ, you were partnered and looking for 3-somes. Things change?
  • maggass

    Posts: 44

    May 19, 2016 11:19 PM GMT
    Hot body = lots of sex is a pure myth.

    Even while I was in college, I saw the least attractive people getting laid all the time. You just have to do one or more of the following:

    1. Lower your standards. Like MUCH lower. And you'll get laid.

    2. Drink lots. Especially with the person you wanna sleep with. And you'll get laid.

    3. Go to a gay bar/club and buy someone a drink. And you'll get laid. If they don't want it, find someone else and go back to step 2.

    4. Download every gay hook up app there is and state in your profile that you wanna get laid. And you'll get laid.

    5. Condition your mind to accept the fact that you're okay with being a whore and will sleep with whomever, whenever.

    6. Go to a Catholic church and go to confession. And you'll get laid (and absolved of any sins)

    7. When all else fails, number 2.

  • May 19, 2016 11:52 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidTwo weeks ago when you joined RJ, you were partnered and looking for 3-somes. Things change?

    I am not partnered. I live with a married man who's sexual life with husband is non existent. He also happens to be my boss. We have a deal to play in threesomes because he likes to watch me have fun. But I will be leaving to college soon and be on my own. It's why I made the thread. Although sometimes it does feel like I'm partnered. I am not.
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    May 20, 2016 12:53 AM GMT
    A great body is hot.. but work on good relationships not just sex.. I think you will get laid all you'll need
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    May 20, 2016 1:18 AM GMT
    First off, life isn't about finding people to just have sex with: it's called making connections, and not making decisions off of your dick's head, but your actual one. Second, save up money, move to a place where there is a substantial amount of humans, and the rest is self explanatory. I lived in a place where there wasn't as much opportunity,so I saved up and moved somewhere where there was. Don't worry, there are a shit ton of horny,disgusting men all over the world, you'll have no trouble finding them if you capitalize off living in/near a big city. Now finding a substantial human being is hard anywhere, though based on what you've written here, I doubt that's high on your list.

  • May 20, 2016 3:14 AM GMT
    TO23 saidFirst off, life isn't about finding people to just have sex with: it's called making connections, and not making decisions off of your dick's head, but your actual one. Second, save up money, move to a place where there is a substantial amount of humans, and the rest is self explanatory. I lived in a place where there wasn't as much opportunity,so I saved up and moved somewhere where there was. Don't worry, there are a shit ton of horny,disgusting men all over the world, you'll have no trouble finding them if you capitalize off living in/near a big city. Now finding a substantial human being is hard anywhere, though based on what you've written here, I doubt that's high on your list.
    . You're right, I doubt I'll find a substantial human being at the age of 21. Do they even make those anymore? I'm very relationship oriented, I like to cuddle and be sweet, I'm honest, loyal and trustworthy. But Investing emotions in somebody has hurt me before, so why should I. When all they're going to do is throw my care to the trash. Better to enjoy my youth while I can, instead of spending it in somebody who will throw it all away
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    May 20, 2016 4:51 AM GMT
    SuperCluelessBro said
    TO23 saidFirst off, life isn't about finding people to just have sex with: it's called making connections, and not making decisions off of your dick's head, but your actual one. Second, save up money, move to a place where there is a substantial amount of humans, and the rest is self explanatory. I lived in a place where there wasn't as much opportunity,so I saved up and moved somewhere where there was. Don't worry, there are a shit ton of horny,disgusting men all over the world, you'll have no trouble finding them if you capitalize off living in/near a big city. Now finding a substantial human being is hard anywhere, though based on what you've written here, I doubt that's high on your list.
    . You're right, I doubt I'll find a substantial human being at the age of 21. Do they even make those anymore? I'm very relationship oriented, I like to cuddle and be sweet, I'm honest, loyal and trustworthy. But Investing emotions in somebody has hurt me before, so why should I. When all they're going to do is throw my care to the trash. Better to enjoy my youth while I can, instead of spending it in somebody who will throw it all away


    "enjoying yourself' by having sex with random people you don't care about, is actually just a very sick defense mechanism to mask your fear and lack of courage to face yourself. Take it from someone who has experience, it's not healthy to completely retract your emotions from sex; it's actually the birth place of sexual disease.

    The funny thing is that you think you're rare for wanting something substantial, so you hide it away and put on a facade, but every other "man" is doing the same; so what you end up with, is a bunch of terrified men who are pretending to enjoy casual, meaningless sex, when these men you're having such experiences with are all desiring the same thing, but you're all too afraid to bring it to the forefront of your conscious experience and make the love you desire actually real. We're all doing it, myself included, but the difference between me and most is that i am aware of what is really going on, and I don't hide behind the belief that all men are sex deprived animals: I just think it's funny to say since so many men conduct themselves in such a toxic fashion
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2016 4:59 AM GMT
    What gets you laid more often?

    How to improve myself?

    I don't go to a gym anymore. It's more fun to go on walks or hike and do body resistance exercises.

    I eat light and fresh. No dairy and limited animal protein. I don't eat products with gluten.

    How do I feel? Great.

    Sexy is good hygiene, neatly and stylishly dressed and perhaps a fast car!!

    Looks?? Work with what you've got!

  • May 20, 2016 5:30 AM GMT
    TO23 said
    SuperCluelessBro said
    TO23 saidFirst off, life isn't about finding people to just have sex with: it's called making connections, and not making decisions off of your dick's head, but your actual one. Second, save up money, move to a place where there is a substantial amount of humans, and the rest is self explanatory. I lived in a place where there wasn't as much opportunity,so I saved up and moved somewhere where there was. Don't worry, there are a shit ton of horny,disgusting men all over the world, you'll have no trouble finding them if you capitalize off living in/near a big city. Now finding a substantial human being is hard anywhere, though based on what you've written here, I doubt that's high on your list.
    . You're right, I doubt I'll find a substantial human being at the age of 21. Do they even make those anymore? I'm very relationship oriented, I like to cuddle and be sweet, I'm honest, loyal and trustworthy. But Investing emotions in somebody has hurt me before, so why should I. When all they're going to do is throw my care to the trash. Better to enjoy my youth while I can, instead of spending it in somebody who will throw it all away


    "enjoying yourself' by having sex with random people you don't care about, is actually just a very sick defense mechanism to mask your fear and lack of courage to face yourself. Take it from someone who has experience, it's not healthy to completely retract your emotions from sex; it's actually the birth place of sexual disease.

    The funny thing is that you think you're rare for wanting something substantial, so you hide it away and put on a facade, but every other "man" is doing the same; so what you end up with, is a bunch of terrified men who are pretending to enjoy casual, meaningless sex, when these men you're having such experiences with are all desiring the same thing, but you're all too afraid to bring it to the forefront of your conscious experience and make the love you desire actually real. We're all doing it, myself included, but the difference between me and most is that i am aware of what is really going on, and I don't hide behind the belief that all men are sex deprived animals: I just think it's funny to say since so many men conduct themselves in such a toxic fashion


    You actually hit some nerves there, not going to lie.
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    May 20, 2016 6:14 AM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with the post, whether you want a relationship or not. And you're very young still *paws slowly*

    Right... so, you pretty much know that working out is what you need to do. Get some cheap dumbells, YouTube some routines, start doing pushups every day, pullups, whatever. There's a lot you can do without a gym.

    Some new clothing may do wonders too, especially in a few months if you hit it hard.

    You may need to lower your standards too, as eagarmuscle said. I don't know if they're unreasonably high, though.

    I noticed at my gym that I don't seem to get any looks... unless and until I'm getting changed in the locker room. Suddenly it's like I'm a different fucking person when my clothes are off. Guys are very uhhh... 'visual' or something :p Give them something new to look at !
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    May 21, 2016 2:27 AM GMT
    When I first came out, I had no trouble getting laid. I did things to change my appearance some, but was still kind of nerdy. I was 22. I thought I would have unlimited chances to find someone. I had a lot of sex, tried to date and had several relationships of less than six months. I had two relationships of 2 years.

    I am 59 now. I am in better shape than I've been in 20 years and its difficult to find someone who will have any kind of conversation online, much less get laid. I am currently working with a trainer and loving it because my body feels good. I meditate, play tennis, work, and have some friends. Currently, I am thinking about traveling to cities with jack off clubs because that seems safer than some other options.

    The social scene now seems very difficult even for many young people who are plenty attractive. There has always been the division between sex and relationships. In my younger days, those who were available for sex weren't available for relationships whether they were single or not. I know there are some guys who are having sex a lot because the HIV transmission rates are still way too high. But I don't know how they meet. The venues I knew about are gone--public spaces, bars (still there, but moribund), etc. The dating sites and hook-up sites seem next to worthless.

    Marriage has had a major impact for a subset of the younger gay crowd. Some young men have a lot of family support and find a partner and marry in a way that never would have happened when I was young. But most young men are not getting married. i'm a bit lost and don't know my way as I've changed a lot since I came out. I'm ready to be married, but I don't have a groom. I'm not seeing options for sex or relationships right now.

    A hot body and face does help, but it isn't a guarantee of anything good. I'm not sure how to operate in the current social environment.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    May 21, 2016 7:31 PM GMT
    No single human attribute is a safe guarantee that you will get laid. The politics of sexual selection is a bit more complex than that. icon_idea.gif

    Hot bod and cute looks will generally help. To a degree, that is...

    I have come to believe that the game of sexual selection follows pretty much the same pattern as general evolution. It is not the strongest who survive but the fittest, i.e., the ones who are best adapted to the environment. Your success mostly depends on your ability to 'read' your environment right, AND adapt yourself to its requirements.

    A small town environment mostly forces the players involved to accept what's on the market, and stick together. The choices are usually very limited. But the cohesion is usually pretty good.

    A big(ger) college town environment offers far wider choices while making it necessary for you to understand the each and every environment right, and make most of virtually every situation you get yourself into. Not too many people will be sticking with anyone in particular if the choices are very numerous.

    There are no solutions. Only trade-offs.

    SC

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    May 23, 2016 7:45 PM GMT
    My confidence, humor, and my "Zero Fucks Given" attitude has served me well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2016 12:56 PM GMT
    ok, sarcastic answer...

    desperate bottoms...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2016 2:03 PM GMT
    Nonchalance (aka "I don't give a fuck" attitude)when dealing with gay drama. For whatever reason, the gay guys that I know seem to be attracted to guys who have a "take-it-or-leave-it" approach because they don't smell of desperation.
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    May 24, 2016 4:33 PM GMT
    kzen64 saidok, sarcastic answer...

    desperate bottoms...


    That could be a gay reality tv show...

    Desperate Bottoms of L.A.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 24, 2016 4:45 PM GMT
    Well you ask two very different questions. For getting laid, a good body, a great attitude and being friendly and interested does help. Being social and involved.

    As far as improving yourself physically, I like what my senior contributor to my weekly fitness program says, "The world is your gym" meaning you can use everyday
    items to improve yourself... and you can. I do a morning cardio set, combined with push ups, a barbell, a couple of dumbells, a professional bench (which isn't necessary) and a step (for cardio). Amazing what you can do if you are really determined and serious about self improvement. I do go to a gym all the time, but my morning cardio scene is indispensable. Take the time and think about how you can exercise on your terms and on your time requirements.