Struggle Over a Motorcycle

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2016 12:38 AM GMT
    I'm just approaching my 50th year of being a continuously licensed motorcyclist (still am). I want to celebrate it with a new bike.

    I don't have any at present, and not for a few years now, my husband won't allow it. Says I'll kill myself. I really miss having one.

    So now I've got a dilemma. Spend about $27,000 on myself for the one I want, a selfish move. I've never spent anything like that amount for myself since we've been together, but have for him. Maybe it's my turn now?

    I'm not sure why he can't compromise. The last time we compromised I had to get a Vespa scooter. As expensive as the Harley Sportster I really wanted. But OK, anything to keep him happy.

    Well, maybe I should make Bob happy for once. I dunno. I don't wanna upset him. But motorcycling (and the Army) comprised half my life. I hate to be cut off from both.

    I'm gonna go to the BMW motorcycle dealer next week (I had a BMW before). I may wait for the 2017 models, which will give me some time. But if I don't get back on a bike saddle I think I will explode!
  • Triggerman

    Posts: 528

    May 19, 2016 12:44 AM GMT
    buy nice used Harley. Life is short but it will hold it's value. Ride and have fun. 35 years of riding no accidents.
  • Triggerman

    Posts: 528

    May 19, 2016 12:46 AM GMT
    Can we finally agree on something? lol
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    May 19, 2016 12:49 AM GMT
    Triggerman saidbuy nice used Harley. Life is short but it will hold it's value. Ride and have fun. 35 years of riding no accidents.

    Thanks! And good for you.

    Unfortunately I fell into the statistical prediction, of having accidents in my first 2 years of riding. And did I ever!

    But after that I never had another accident or mishap. I just kept riding, and here I am today. Ready to ride again. If my husband will let me.
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    May 19, 2016 12:50 AM GMT
    Triggerman saidCan we finally agree on something? lol

    No, I never buy a used vehicle. Car or bike, it's gotta be new.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2016 12:58 AM GMT
    There are common factors that all emotionally healthy relationships possess. I won't bother naming them all but here are just a few:

    • You should have mutual friends as well as individual friends.
    • You should have common interests and hobbies together and also individual ones you do without your partner.
    Neither partner should ever forbid the other from doing something that they enjoy, even if they don't share said interest.

    In short, it's totally appropriate for your spouse to express his concern about the motorcycle, but it is NOT okay for him to forbid you to do anything. This is how resentment grows. You're a grown man for God's sake. Giving up something you enjoy should not be considered a "gift" to him no matter how good he is to you. Buy the motorcycle with your own money and let him know this is something you're doing for yourself. Do not ask for permission. Just do it.
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    May 19, 2016 1:21 AM GMT
    You're a grown man. You don't need his permission.
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    May 19, 2016 2:11 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidI'm just approaching my 50th year of being a continuously licensed motorcyclist (still am). I want to celebrate it with a new bike.

    I don't have any at present, and not for a few years now, my husband won't allow it. Says I'll kill myself. I really miss having one.

    So now I've got a dilemma. Spend about $27,000 on myself for the one I want, a selfish move. I've never spent anything like that amount for myself since we've been together, but have for him. Maybe it's my turn now?

    I'm not sure why he can't compromise. The last time we compromised I had to get a Vespa scooter. As expensive as the Harley Sportster I really wanted. But OK, anything to keep him happy.

    Well, maybe I should make Bob happy for once. I dunno. I don't wanna upset him. But motorcycling (and the Army) comprised half my life. I hate to be cut off from both.

    I'm gonna go to the BMW motorcycle dealer next week (I had a BMW before). I may wait for the 2017 models, which will give me some time. But if I don't get back on a bike saddle I think I will explode!

    Get a Honda Grom. I'm seriously thinking about it. Just for farting around town. Looks like a blast. icon_lol.gif
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    May 19, 2016 12:51 PM GMT
    Yeah, 2 wrecks in first several years of riding. 2nd time hit a racoon. Full gear both times, just some light bruising.

    I'd like to get back on a motorcycle. I stopped because my ex-wife HAD to join me, and couldn't ride very well, or fast. Last bike we bought was 2008 Triumph Bonneville. Was a nice ride.

    Good advice above, can't really add to it.
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    May 19, 2016 1:17 PM GMT
    xrichx said
    Get a Honda Grom. I'm seriously thinking about it. Just for farting around town. Looks like a blast. icon_lol.gif

    Thanks, I have looked it up. The seat is too tall for me. I have very short legs. And I was thinking about more of a sport tourer for longer rides, which I've had before. And this BMW has a lower seat option, although even the standard is within my range.

    But this Grom does look like a feisty urban combat vehicle. Something light, quick, maneuverable, and able to handle bad roads. Car drivers usually don't realize it, but from a biker's perspective city streets are far rougher and pot-hole marked than open roads are. And naturally city traffic is a nightmare, every 4-wheeler (aka cager) out to hit you. Since they rarely respect, and often don't even see you, your only tactic is avoidance by out-maneuvering them.
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    May 19, 2016 1:29 PM GMT
    You might look at the Triumph Trophy SE (MY16)

    The seat height is adjustable from 30.3-31.1 in (770-790 mm)

    or Tiger 800 XR seat 31.9 - 32.7 in (810 - 830 mm). With accessory low seat: 31.1 - 31.9 in (790 - 810 mm)
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    May 19, 2016 1:33 PM GMT
    OK, here's what I'm considering: an R 1200 RT boxer sport touring. Almost everything else in this category has floorboards and clunky Harley-style foot shifters. I want foot pegs with simple & quick foot levers, and that's what this has. Same as my 1975 BMW R90/6, over 40 years ago.

    Plus it's deceptively light in weight. Barely over 600 pounds. Its competition is up around 700 and over 800 pounds. I want to ride a motorcycle, not a hippopotamus.

    outdoor_1920x1080_K52_P0N97%201_zps7uju8
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    May 19, 2016 1:37 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidOK, here's what I'm considering: an R 1200 RT boxer sport touring. Almost everything else in this category has floorboards and clunky Harley-style foot shifters. I want foot pegs with simple & quick foot levers, and that's what this has. Same as my 1975 BMW R90/6, over 40 years ago.

    Plus it's deceptively light in weight. Barely over 600 pounds. Its competition is up around 700 and over 800 pounds. I want to ride a motorcycle, not a hippopotamus.



    I hear you there, I would love an old BMW
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    May 19, 2016 1:43 PM GMT
    Art_Deco
    YO; you are the same guy that bought the $1,500 dish washer. Tell me how that appliance gets your dishes 4x more clean than the $250 unit i installed last week. It is quiet, works looks fine and the users rave.

    motorcycles so defined me
    i bought a GIXXER 750 about 1999 and didnt know what i was getting into. I actually got some skills and was doing local track racing till about 2008. I appreciated life more waking up to a warm tray of hospital food. I sold off everything about 2012 and am off on to new stuff. It was a long run and lots of positive experiences.


    let it go... love you more Art.







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    May 19, 2016 2:04 PM GMT
    kzen64 said
    I hear you there, I would love an old BMW

    For nostalgia I could like an old BMW, too. In fact, I'd love to have a stable of all my old bikes, going back to my first in 1966.

    But technology improves, thank gawd. And just like cars, in spite of all the "they don't build 'em like they used to" rhetoric, modern bikes are functionally superior to what we had 50 years ago, or even 10 years ago.

    And my focus is how a piece of machinery works underneath me, how it does its primary jobs of handling, braking, accelerating, and a dozen other considerations that matter to me when I'm in the saddle. My 1975 R90/6 was a marvel in its day, with an Autobahn-tuned suspension that let me cruise at 90 mph. In fact, the suspension didn't really feel in its element until above about 75.

    But this current BMW has a Telelever front fork, and a Paralever rear suspension, totally state-of-the-art, that didn't even exist in 1975, all tunable to my riding style. The horsepower is 125, as much as many small cars but it weighs only 600 pounds, so it'll be a rocket and won't even be breathing hard at all-day highway speeds (that I often manage on 2-lane country roads).

    I'd love to ride up to Sturgis, South Dakota for the big August bike rally, and camp there, like I used to do annually. And did from as far away as right here in Fort Lauderdale. But those kinds of epic cross-countries I once did wouldn't be fair to my husband, since I'd be traveling solo. Maybe some weekenders wouldn't be a problem. But those are the types of rides this bike was built to do, although ideally through more challenging terrain than flat Florida.
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    May 19, 2016 2:42 PM GMT
    pellaz saidArt_Deco
    YO; you are the same guy that bought the $1,500 dish washer. Tell me how that appliance gets your dishes 4x more clean than the $250 unit i installed last week. It is quiet, works looks fine and the users rave.

    motorcycles so defined me
    i bought a GIXXER 750 about 1999 and didnt know what i was getting into. I actually got some skills and was doing local track racing till about 2008. I appreciated life more waking up to a warm tray of hospital food. I sold off everything about 2012 and am off on to new stuff. It was a long run and lots of positive experiences.

    let it go... love you more Art.

    For clarification, I paid around $900 for that dishwasher. A friend delivered it with his pickup, and I installed it myself. So there were no additional costs.

    And I think it was actually listed at $1100 or $1200. Or maybe that was the lower advertised price from the MSRP. Talked the local dealer down, and also got a small factory rebate from Bosch. I wasn't born just outside of NYC for nothing, that I don't know how to bargain, and bide my time for the best deal. Even though I only had barely a month to plan, the old dishwasher failing so abruptly.

    And this model sanitizes, per a US standard. An important consideration for my husband, since he makes so much food as gifts for friends, or as donations to fundraiser events. Don't want anybody getting sick.

    Motorcycles very much defined me, too. And when people thought of me back then (if they thought of me at all) it was "Bob the biker". That was my identity.

    But I often had to keep that side invisible from fellow Army Officers, or very low-key. A little biker involvement could mean I was outdoorsy and tough, good traits for my career. Too much involvement could imply low-class coarseness, and death to my reputation and career aspirations.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    May 19, 2016 4:04 PM GMT
    I've had bikes and occasionally get hot to get another. But what stops me these days is I can't figure out what I'd do with it. My partner won't ride either. So I doubt I'm likely to do any long distance road trips without him and besides, I like having company and dogs and luggage. So that leaves just knocking around town which is fun in theory but during season this place turns into a giant parking lot and it is awfully hot when you're not moving. Another thing that gives me pause is here, like where you are, is basically big sand bar. The only times I've laid a bike down was when hitting a patch of sand on the road during a turn. Well, once I dropped the kickstand and walked away and the tar parking spot just melted in the Florida sun and the bike went down. Since your desired bike is a 1200, you couldn't stand it back up even if you were unharmed. I've seen some pretty big bikers lay their bike down trying to back it into a garage space or out of one.

    Ya know, Art, some things really don't make sense past a certain age. Your guy is pretty fragile and needs you. He shouldn't forbid you anything but maybe he's truly afraid of you getting hurt (happens!), being gone on your open road treks, or just generally being afraid of a bike (his ticker might not handle it well). Lots of people are. And rightly. Shit happens. My brother got knocked off I-95 at 75 by a car changing lanes who just didn't see him. He looked like the mummy for half a year.

    But I understand the lust.
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    May 19, 2016 4:11 PM GMT
    To my eyes , it is too much money invested for just a toy ...icon_eek.gif
    But if it pleases you and you have the means , why not icon_smile.gif
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    May 19, 2016 8:08 PM GMT
    Isn't it dangerous at that age to be speeding about on a motorcycle?? Eyesight and hearing etc...
    If you feel like you have nothing to worry about then go for it..
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    May 19, 2016 8:11 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidI've had bikes and occasionally get hot to get another. But what stops me these days is I can't figure out what I'd do with it. My partner won't ride either. So I doubt I'm likely to do any long distance road trips without him and besides, I like having company and dogs and luggage. So that leaves just knocking around town which is fun in theory but during season this place turns into a giant parking lot and it is awfully hot when you're not moving. Another thing that gives me pause is here, like where you are, is basically big sand bar. The only times I've laid a bike down was when hitting a patch of sand on the road during a turn. Well, once I dropped the kickstand and walked away and the tar parking spot just melted in the Florida sun and the bike went down. Since your desired bike is a 1200, you couldn't stand it back up even if you were unharmed. I've seen some pretty big bikers lay their bike down trying to back it into a garage space or out of one.

    Ya know, Art, some things really don't make sense past a certain age. Your guy is pretty fragile and needs you. He shouldn't forbid you anything but maybe he's truly afraid of you getting hurt (happens!), being gone on your open road treks, or just generally being afraid of a bike (his ticker might not handle it well). Lots of people are. And rightly. Shit happens. My brother got knocked off I-95 at 75 by a car changing lanes who just didn't see him. He looked like the mummy for half a year.

    But I understand the lust.

    You understand more than most. Both the pluses and the minuses, as do I, and in my particular circumstances.

    BTW, regarding righting a bike, there's a technique to it. And it can be done, especially a big tourer that can't lay over very far by its design.

    Yeah, soft pavement is a problem for side stands (this one also has a center stand, but I wouldn't trust it on certain surfaces, either). I've found my bike lying on its side, the side side a good 5" into the pavement.

    There are some devices you can buy and that I've had, I think one called "Funny Foot", that you place under the side stand to increase the surface area to prevent a sink-in. When I was traveling I'd place it in a side zipper compartment of my tank bag, or maybe just in my jacket pocket. Never failed me.

    I first visited Florida, and Key West, in 1973 on a motorcycle. And for the next 20 years I always came here on 2 wheels, with only a few exceptions. And bought a bike in Fort Lauderdale in 1997, that I rode solo back to my home at the time in Seattle. So I have at least some prior experience riding a bike in South Florida.

    And except for riding A1A along the beach, I don't recall there being a big sand problem. Rather, the greater sand hazard was up North, in the early Spring. When there was lots of traction sand still alongside the roads, left by melting snow & ice. I had a spill in 1968 from just that cause, one of my first rides that season after the annual Winter hiatus.

    More important to me, that you mention, is leaving my partner for any period. I felt the same way with my late partner. So we discussed my annual rides to Sturgis before I committed to them, which he had to OK before I'd go. I made plans for his care in my absence, and shortened my trip from its usual longer length.

    He could have come along, too, though not on the bike, too much for him (I was riding over 600 miles a day on 2-lane country roads at breakneck speeds, that I could manage in about 9-10 hours, giving me enough time to put up my tent before nightfall). He would have traveled commercially, then stayed with me in Sturgis, and merely rode the bike with me locally. But he declined.
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    May 19, 2016 8:38 PM GMT
    neffa saidTo my eyes , it is too much money invested for just a toy ...icon_eek.gif
    But if it pleases you and you have the means , why not icon_smile.gif

    Yeah, perhaps the last "toy" of its kind in my life. Because obviously it eventually must end, and I know that, no illusions. The "Last Hurrah". But maybe not quite yet...
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    May 19, 2016 8:50 PM GMT
    venue35 said
    Isn't it dangerous at that age to be speeding about on a motorcycle?? Eyesight and hearing etc...
    If you feel like you have nothing to worry about then go for it..

    My eyesight is fine, my hearing has been impaired for 20 years, but adequate for this purpose. Oddly I've never had an epileptic moment on a bike. I speculate whether it has to do with all the sensory input I'm experiencing. My reaction times are still excellent.

    My main concern is my muscle strength. Even a 600-pound bike (as opposed to an 800-pound Honda Gold Wing or a Harley configured for touring) is still a heavy machine. With the BMW lower profile saddle I'll be able to plant both feet firmly on the ground, and that's all I need. An upright stationary bike weighs nothing at the handlebars. You just need to have confidence and trust in yourself.

    So I think this can work.
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    May 19, 2016 11:10 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    venue35 said
    Isn't it dangerous at that age to be speeding about on a motorcycle?? Eyesight and hearing etc...
    If you feel like you have nothing to worry about then go for it..

    My sight is fine, my hearing has been impaired for 20 years, but adequate for this purpose. Oddly I've never had an epileptic moment on a bike. I speculate whether it has to do with all the sensory input I'm experiencing. My reaction times are still excellent.

    My main concern is my muscle strength. Even a 600-pound bike (as opposed to an 800-pound Honda Gold Wing or a Harley configured for touring) is still a heavy machine. With the BMW lower profile saddle I'll be able to plant both feet firmly on the ground, and that's all I need. An upright stationary bike weighs nothing at the handlebars. You just need to have confidence and trust in yourself.

    So I think this can work.

    Um, if you'd had an epileptic episode on a motorbike you'd be dead. Just saying.

    Can't you rent a bike for a couple of days, ride around, see what it feels like before spending a small fortune on a new one? That could ease your hubby into it a little as well.
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    May 20, 2016 12:51 AM GMT
    Why not just rent when you get nostalgic for a ride. Can you rent motorcycles? Is that a thing?
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    May 20, 2016 12:52 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidOK, here's what I'm considering: an R 1200 RT boxer sport touring. Almost everything else in this category has floorboards and clunky Harley-style foot shifters. I want foot pegs with simple & quick foot levers, and that's what this has. Same as my 1975 BMW R90/6, over 40 years ago.

    Plus it's deceptively light in weight. Barely over 600 pounds. Its competition is up around 700 and over 800 pounds. I want to ride a motorcycle, not a hippopotamus.

    outdoor_1920x1080_K52_P0N97%201_zps7uju8


    Will you wear all black leather too?