People who are "better" than you

  • Scotticvs

    Posts: 10

    May 19, 2016 9:21 AM GMT
    I keep thinking about this guy from high school who passed away back in November 2014. Wasn't that close to him, we were on good terms, but he was, in retrospect, a pretty extraordinary individual. Valedictorian, accomplished scholar, singer, artist, actor, athlete, socially well liked, very healthy sense of humor. And I always kind of envied him, because he just seemed to be a generally "better" person than I was and am now.

    He just died randomly in bed and didn't wake up, he was like 23 at the time. His family didn't disclose the exact circumstances of what the cause was, just that it was sudden and accidental. Graduated with a Nursing degree and was working at OHSU and Tuality health clinic.

    But I can't help thinking "what a waste of talent and potential", he seemed to be one of those people who was selfless, infallible, and so capable of probably solving the world's most difficult problems. Like he didn't deserve to die, I do. Because in comparison I feel like human garbage, not nearly as smart or accomplished as he was, and just feel morally inferior.

    Have you ever known anybody who you thought was just an all over "better" person than yourself?
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    May 19, 2016 9:43 AM GMT
    Better? No. More talented? Yes. Some people just luck out in the game of life. However, we all have our demons too. Evidently he did. It's rare that a 23 yo dies suddenly or "accidentally " in bed. His family not disclosing the reason is suspicious. I'm betting it was a drug overdose. We ALL have our demons.
  • FirestormDavi...

    Posts: 340

    May 19, 2016 10:33 AM GMT
    yeah none of us has a throne unless we all do and they're equally high...all asses at the same level haha.

    We all have different potentials in different areas.

    Ask not how well you did, but how well you did relative to your potential.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    May 19, 2016 12:13 PM GMT

    If you feel morally inferior start acting more morally correct, whatever you deem that to be.

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    May 19, 2016 1:20 PM GMT
    Scotticvs saidI keep thinking about this guy from high school who passed away back in November 2014. Wasn't that close to him, we were on good terms, but he was, in retrospect, a pretty extraordinary individual. Valedictorian, accomplished scholar, singer, artist, actor, athlete, socially well liked, very healthy sense of humor. And I always kind of envied him, because he just seemed to be a generally "better" person than I was and am now.

    He just died randomly in bed and didn't wake up, he was like 23 at the time. His family didn't disclose the exact circumstances of what the cause was, just that it was sudden and accidental. Graduated with a Nursing degree and was working at OHSU and Tuality health clinic.

    But I can't help thinking "what a waste of talent and potential", he seemed to be one of those people who was selfless, infallible, and so capable of probably solving the world's most difficult problems. Like he didn't deserve to die, I do. Because in comparison I feel like human garbage, not nearly as smart or accomplished as he was, and just feel morally inferior.

    Have you ever known anybody who you thought was just an all over "better" person than yourself?


    You are training to serve others... I'd say that makes you morally superior to 90% of the people in the world.

    Everyone is "better" at something.

    I've got a 30 year career in software development. The last product I designed and built is in something like 240 installations. It is accounting software for small governments, cities, towns, villages. I know the product has prevented mistakes, fraud, and some outright theft because of the way it was designed. My design. My analysis of our previous product, plus experience, research, and some innovation. Point is, I had some talent that was partly learned, partly genetic. Ability to analyse and design, abstraction, categorization.

    This makes me better in that area. I've got other qualities as well of course. Physical attributes. Kind, giving, caring. Also have plenty of negative attributes as well. Anger issues.

    I've never met anyone who didn't have flaws. That didn't make them less of a person.
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    May 19, 2016 1:54 PM GMT
    My parents always reminded me to not compare myself to other people because only 2 things could happen: I'd either feel superior or feel inferior. Neither would be a good outcome. Later in life, I also learned that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. In the end, we will all suffer from the ravages of old age or sickness leading to eventual death. Everyone is equal in death.
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    May 19, 2016 1:56 PM GMT
    That is too bad he passed away. Unfortunately other posters are right, it sounds like he died of something his family did not want to bring out in the open (drugs) or something like that.

    You should never compare yourself to someone else. (I know that's easier said than done, and we all do it at some point). You have certain skills that make you more unique and successful (in that field) than others, just as they do. The tricky part (at least for me) is finding your niche. Some people find it faster, and for others it takes a while. You will find it! Trust me, when you do find it you will know it!

    Example (me): I'm highly organized, can articulate myself well, several years of volunteer and work. On the other hand, I'm not very aggressive and I seem to come off as being a perfectionist (a turn off for most people, because no one is perfect).

    Learning how to grow and challenge yourself and transform into what you want to be, is being successful and the BEST you can be.

    Life is a learning process, you will do great!

  • nice_chap

    Posts: 283

    May 19, 2016 2:06 PM GMT
    It's good to have people in our lives that we look up to and admire. It gives us a standard to work up to so we can improve ourselves.

    I think it's natural to feel envy towards someone if that person is our peer. They start off at the same level as us, but they seem to be moving further ahead. and in doing so, they've earned the respect and admiration of other people that we know, which can make us doubt our own self worth.

    It's important to not let this negativity get the better of you, though. If you feel badly about this person's success, that's your problem, not his. and whatever issues he had towards the end of his life, that's his problem, not yours.
    He had his life, you have yours. He wasn't your enemy, right? He didn't set out to destroy you. So don't let his memory have that effect on you. You'll always have the opportunity to improve yourself.
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    May 19, 2016 2:20 PM GMT
    Richard Cory
    BY EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON

    Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
    We people on the pavement looked at him:
    He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
    Clean favored, and imperially slim.

    And he was always quietly arrayed,
    And he was always human when he talked;
    But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
    "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

    And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—
    And admirably schooled in every grace:
    In fine, we thought that he was everything
    To make us wish that we were in his place.

    So on we worked, and waited for the light,
    And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
    And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
    Went home and put a bullet through his head.
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    May 20, 2016 5:49 AM GMT
    When I was younger I used to be very jealous of guys who were born into wealthy families or killer handsome.Did I think they were better than me?No As I get older my envy has faded.
  • neartheocean

    Posts: 2

    May 20, 2016 7:09 AM GMT
    I have huge jealousy issues of pretty much everyone. There's really nothing good about me at all. I have a hard time talking to or befriending or even looking at very attractive and talented people... it makes me upset because I have zero good traits whatsoever and only bad ones.
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    May 20, 2016 7:54 AM GMT
    Scotticvs said... he was, in retrospect, a pretty extraordinary individual...
    and how did that work out for him?
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    May 20, 2016 9:52 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidRichard Cory
    BY EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON

    Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
    We people on the pavement looked at him:
    He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
    Clean favored, and imperially slim.

    And he was always quietly arrayed,
    And he was always human when he talked;
    But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
    "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

    And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—
    And admirably schooled in every grace:
    In fine, we thought that he was everything
    To make us wish that we were in his place.

    So on we worked, and waited for the light,
    And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
    And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
    Went home and put a bullet through his head.



    And brilliantly put into song by Simon and Garfunkle:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euuCiSY0qYs

    Simon & Garfunkel - Richard Cory 1966 live

    They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town,
    With political connections to spread his wealth around.
    Born into society, a banker's only child,
    He had everything a man could want: power, grace, and style.

    But I, I work in his factory
    And I curse the life I'm living
    And I curse my poverty
    And I wish that I could be,
    Oh, I wish that I could be,
    Oh, I wish that I could be
    Richard Cory.

    The papers print his picture almost everywhere he goes:
    Richard Cory at the opera, Richard Cory at a show.
    And the rumor of his parties and the orgies on his yacht!
    Oh, he surely must be happy with everything he's got.

    But I, I work in his factory
    And I curse the life I'm living
    And I curse my poverty
    And I wish that I could be,
    Oh, I wish that I could be,
    Oh, I wish that I could be
    Richard Cory.

    He freely gave to charity, he had the common touch,
    And they were grateful for his patronage and they thanked him very much,
    So my mind was filled with wonder when the evening headlines read:
    "Richard Cory went home last night and put a bullet through his head."

    But I, I work in his factory
    And I curse the life I'm living
    And I curse my poverty
    And I wish that I could be,
    Oh, I wish that I could be,
    Oh, I wish that I could be
    Richard Cory.
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    May 20, 2016 9:56 AM GMT
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    May 21, 2016 12:41 PM GMT
    I believe that the characteristics we admire most in others are characteristics we ourselves have but for some reason we have not found a what to express them.
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    May 21, 2016 2:26 PM GMT
    No one is better than anyone else. It's hard to not compare yourself to others especially in this world because everything is a competition. Like when getting a job your going to be compared to the other applicants.

    Some people just find what they excel at faster than others or have a passion for. I'm still trying to find mine. If you don't have a passion for something, you're not going to excel at it.