If The Apostles Had Been Gay...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 2:24 PM GMT
    If The Apostles Had Been Gay...

    The Last Supper would have been a brunch.

    The Beatitudes would start, "Fabulous are they..." ---[my favorite]

    The Triumphal Entry screams for a drag number.

    The water at the wedding feast of Cana would not have been changed to wine, but to extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for colour.

    The temple would not have been cleansed of money changers, just redecorated.

    Mary's hair would have been flawless.

    The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.

    Priests would have affairs with altar boys... wait, never mind.

    Jesus would never wear white after Labour Day.

    The Sermon on the Mount would have been a musical.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 09, 2007 2:48 PM GMT
    Caslon, you would be an interesting guest at any party....icon_biggrin.gif
  • Salubrious

    Posts: 420

    Oct 09, 2007 2:51 PM GMT
    What do you mean if....








    (just kidding... maybe)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 2:54 PM GMT
    Of course, Hansmkansan! That's why "God" made me an introvert who isn't really keen on parties. ... hahahahahahaha ... icon_lol.gif
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 09, 2007 3:04 PM GMT
    I'm not sure if the 'not wearing white after labor day' rule applies outside the US Caslon.

    icon_wink.gif

    Loz
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 09, 2007 3:06 PM GMT
    Now... I can't believe that at all.. Maybe we could dress you up as an apostle and have you recite.... LOLicon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 3:16 PM GMT
    well, maybe if you coaxed me rightly nicely ... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 6:05 PM GMT
    I assume you know the Folsom St. Fair's poster this year is a leather rendition of the Last Supper. Of course, it outraged everyone.

    folsom-street-fair.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 6:07 PM GMT
    Obscene:

    I almost peed my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That is a GAG! icon_lol.gificon_twisted.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 6:32 PM GMT
    Of course it outraged everyone. They've depicted jesus as a black man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 09, 2007 8:29 PM GMT
    And you can TOTALLY wear white after labor day now. Come on!
  • eckilegs

    Posts: 223

    Oct 09, 2007 10:02 PM GMT
    Caslon, Obscene, Sick and McGay....
    You guys are awesome, that just put a smile on my face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 10, 2007 1:29 AM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 10, 2007 2:22 AM GMT
    It appears the poster might not be as outlandish as many think. Check out this thread:

    http://www.realjock.com/topic/42501/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 12:04 AM GMT
    I just started reading another Left Behind book, and they sort of put me in a trance when i read them, but this totally took me out of it lol

    Very funny
    Thanx

    Q
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 12:36 AM GMT
    I didn'tknow they were straight. What about that Judas and jesus thing? Maybe jesus was a bisexual and judas got jealous of mary magdolin. lol who knows it was over 2000 years ago.
  • soccerstriker

    Posts: 46

    Oct 11, 2007 12:48 AM GMT
    just the apostles? Jesus was the head of the gay mafia!

    http://www.amazon.com/Man-Jesus-Loved-Homoerotic-Narratives/dp/082981535X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-1462810-8698004?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1192063365&sr=8-1

    Its actually a great and interesting read
  • nickkkau

    Posts: 2

    Oct 11, 2007 1:39 AM GMT
    You lot are really bad people icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
    " That's the group I'm trying to cultivate " icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 11, 2007 1:45 AM GMT
    The church organ would be replaced by a dj spinning techno?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 2:08 AM GMT
    Actually, Alexander89, Jesus spending the night with a young man before his arrest. It is in one of the Gnostic Gospel, but I can't find the quotation right now. Jesus sent the night with the young man explaining the mysteries of the universe, dressed him in a single linen cloth the next day.

    This young man is mentioned in the Gospels when the roman soldiers came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. But he was always a mystery.

    Mark 15:51, And a young man followed him [Jesus], with nothing but a linen cloth about his body; and they [roman soldiers] seized him, but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 2:13 AM GMT
    I believe the popular myth, or understanding is that it refers to Mark himself, Caslon, but that is what I have heard, and really don't know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 2:22 AM GMT
    I read the text, wrerick, and it wasn't Mark. It pisses me off that I can't find it to quote it. I thought it was in the newly discovered Gospel of Judas. But I just reread that and it isnt there. I am pretty sure it is in one of the Gnostic Gospels, but since I can't find it, I could be dead wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 3:39 AM GMT
    The 'backstory' of the boy in the linen tunic is from something called the Secret Gospel of Mark. The SGoM's existence is known only from a letter attributed to Clement of Alexandria, which contains a brief passage from it (the one Caslon mention):

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Gospel_of_Mark

    The only known source of the letter is a modern transcription, so it's authenticity (and consequently that of the SGoM) has been challenged.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 11, 2007 7:04 AM GMT
    Jesus played the typical role of the "sought-after jock".

    Twelve men following him around?

    The Last Supper seems to me to be a mildly picturesque rendition of a Bukkake session with Jesus in the middle, enjoying the fruitful multiplication of his followers, one last time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2010 10:23 PM GMT
    Caslon16000 saidActually, Alexander89, Jesus spending the night with a young man before his arrest. It is in one of the Gnostic Gospel, but I can't find the quotation right now. Jesus sent the night with the young man explaining the mysteries of the universe, dressed him in a single linen cloth the next day.

    This young man is mentioned in the Gospels when the roman soldiers came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. But he was always a mystery.

    Mark 15:51, And a young man followed him [Jesus], with nothing but a linen cloth about his body; and they [roman soldiers] seized him, but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked.


    it was later revealed as john who took him from the cross to be dressed for his entoumbing... keep reading

    Love the Preist Quip... all my preist friends hate that JOKE (mostly because they've been guilty of it from time to time)...lol