White men do you feel

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 24, 2016 1:13 PM GMT
    Fetished or objectified and not in a good way like Black/non white men do. If a black man is only going for you because you are white or says I like only white men. Or because you subconsciously know that you are on top of the gay racial hierarchy you think such comments/behaviour are normal and think nothing of it as I would do
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    Jun 24, 2016 2:44 PM GMT
    In my totally anecdotal experience, white guys don't seem to get as offended or feel as fetishized as gay men of color. I was on a4a with one of my white friends, and he messaged a black guy that had "no white guys" on his profile. He really didn't feel any type of way about it. If he sees a big dick, he'll message regardless. On the contrary, lots of gay men of color get deep in their feelings over seeing "no blacks/no Asians/whites only" on profiles. It really fucks with their heads long after they log out. It's very interesting to see the differences in reaction. I think it's best to be carefree about objectification and preferences. Obsessing over these things gives people too much power over you.
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    Jun 24, 2016 3:43 PM GMT
    What is the big deal with the colour of skin icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    The colour of your skin doesn't dictate who you are ..
    Love has nothing to do with the colour of the skin
    Every men had a cock , colour or the skin has nothing to do with a man's anatomy !!
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 24, 2016 6:54 PM GMT
    neffa saidWhat is the big deal with the colour of skin icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    The colour of your skin doesn't dict who you are ..
    Love has nothing to do with the colour of the skin
    Every men had a cock , colour or the skin has nothing to do with a man's anatomy !!


    Oh it matters in gay world it matters
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4905

    Jun 24, 2016 7:21 PM GMT
    I have worked professionally with people from Japan, India, Taiwan, Malaysia, etc. I've worked with blacks, whites, and mixed. I've worked with Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and atheists. All groups of people have their share of both wonderful people and scoundrels, good looking people and ugly people. I just don't see why so many people are obsessed with race.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 2201

    Jun 24, 2016 7:22 PM GMT
    Matthew56 saidFetished or objectified and not in a good way like Black/non white men do. If a black man is only going for you because you are white or says I like only white men. Or because you subconsciously know that you are on top of the gay racial hierarchy you think such comments/behaviour are normal and think nothing of it as I would do


    Nope, because I find that just because you are a primarily attracted with one race, there are always exceptions. I have been attracted to just about every race there is at one point or another. I disagree with the thought that one race is on top since some other races are only attracted to their race.
  • monstapex

    Posts: 484

    Jun 25, 2016 2:22 PM GMT
    It seems to me the only people who complain about "sexual racism " are men of color who want white guys ONLY themselves . They want nothing to do with their OWN race or other men of color.Check their hotlists and you will see .
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    Jun 25, 2016 2:52 PM GMT
    FRE0 saidI have worked professionally with people from Japan, India, Taiwan, Malaysia, etc. I've worked with blacks, whites, and mixed. I've worked with Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and atheists. All groups of people have their share of both wonderful people and scoundrels, good looking people and ugly people. I just don't see why so many people are obsessed with race.


    Same here , i totally agree with you !!
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    Jun 26, 2016 12:34 AM GMT
    monstapex saidIt seems to me the only people who complain about "sexual racism " are men of color who want white guys ONLY themselves . They want nothing to do with their OWN race or other men of color. Check their hotlists and you will see .

    And then the standard response to that is that we've all been molded and brainwashed by the media because they put white guys on a pedestal.

    Apparently all media is controlled by racists.   icon_rolleyes.gif

    Equally strange is the idea that the media is more interested in brainwashing the public instead of profits. In the case of the latter I would assume that the news, tv shows, etc. are slanted in a way that's more appealing and interesting to the public (which would lead to more viewers, higher profits, etc.).
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    Jun 26, 2016 12:46 AM GMT
    If you weren't so thirsty for white dick, this shit wouldn't matter to you.
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    Jun 26, 2016 5:26 AM GMT
    CODY4U saidIn my totally anecdotal experience, white guys don't seem to get as offended or feel as fetishized as gay men of color. I was on a4a with one of my white friends, and he messaged a black guy that had "no white guys" on his profile. He really didn't feel any type of way about it. If he sees a big dick, he'll message regardless. On the contrary, lots of gay men of color get deep in their feelings over seeing "no blacks/no Asians/whites only" on profiles. It really fucks with their heads long after they log out. It's very interesting to see the differences in reaction. I think it's best to be carefree about objectification and preferences. Obsessing over these things gives people too much power over you.


    ^^^What he said

    Whenever I had a profile on a4a, grindr, etc...if all I had showing was a torso, I would get msgs from guys that had the "no blacks" or "only into white guys" statements in their profiles. I would just laugh and tell them they got the wrong guy and keep it moving.

    If they're "only into blacks" or "ethnic", I'd engage them in conversation to see the story behind the preference. Often times, I still ended up not fitting the mold. So, when the conversation was done, so was I. No ill feelings about eitherway
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    Jun 26, 2016 11:40 PM GMT
    I've always envisioned myself with a "type," and imagine that type is of a certain race, or social background. Yet, I maintain that at any point I could come across any guy that could cause me to adjust that vision. I would never deny someone, or tell them I wasn't interested in them, on no grounds other than their race. That doesn't make sense to me. I believe it has to do with exposure.

    If a guy tells me he's not interested because I'm white, then he's not datable material, anyway.

    I'm also of English decent, married to a guy of Italian decent. So.. Take my opinion with a grain of salt, if you have to.
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    Jun 26, 2016 11:55 PM GMT
    For me all this"gay racial hierarchy" and "sexual racism" thing is bs. People just have preferences and certain qualities are more appealing to some than to others.
    We live in times in which we are told that everyone is beautiful and every race and size and shape and everything is just as beautiful as any other and people feel bad admitting their preferences when they shouldn't.
    Plus we live in a victimizing culture. People have to get over some stuff. It is not healthy.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 326

    Jun 26, 2016 11:58 PM GMT
    I agree with Cody4U.
    Fetishes usually (but not always) involve some kind of erotic objectification, and White culture doesn't fit that, since it is in the mainstream. It is usually the more "exotic" peoples who are fetishized: anyone of any other culture fits that. Latin, Black, Asian, Polynesian, etc. Or it can be an object: Only liking men wearing leather, for example, to the point of excluding every other man who doesn't wear it is a fetish.

    And there are many gay men of color who want a White lover ONLY, but that speaks to a perspective of being Black is "less than", meaning 'I think less of myself, so I don't want to be with myself as reflected in the face of another_________(whatever your 'exotic ethnicity') as the person I could fall in love with.'

    Saw this a lot in San Francisco, and it is the exact reason Marlon Riggs made the film Tongues Untied. I knew him casually, as he used to frequent Castro Street, but I went to see his film out of curiosity after several White friends relayed to me that they got what I was trying to tell them about dating White men (one of my (White) friends said I only dated White men because that's all he saw me with, until I pointed out that Black men who liked other Black men didn't hang out in the Castro, and HE (my friend) never went anywhere where Black men hung out (they sure didn't go to the Castro to meet another Black man), but that I did, and he didn't see me when I was dating other Black men).
    Back to Marlon: his perspective was that Black men needed to not be self-hating.
    There will be always be White men who fetishize Black men. There will always be Black men who are, as one poster so crudely - and racist, too boot, put it - are 'so thirsty for White dick.' And there will always be women who only like rich and powerful men. And men who only like blondes (Sylvester Stallone - when he was young and dumb, something he cops to - comes to mind) What's the difference? It's not ONLY color: it's socioeconomic and class-related as well.

    A fetish exists in the mind first, and it can be healthy, if it exists within a limited part of your total life experience (like collecting Chinese Tang dynasty art objects), or it can lead you along an obsessive path,such as collecting persons for traits you believe they ALL have (monolithic thinking) which is rarely a good thing.
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    Jun 27, 2016 7:11 PM GMT
    I, as a white man, nevermind that I am over 50, cannot so much as walk into a convenience store without my ass being pinched and pawed.
    Enuf! Gimme a break. ...*sigh* It ain't easy...

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4598

    Jun 27, 2016 7:23 PM GMT
    Nah! I don't think about it. But I do know that the line between fetish and preference and a positive characteristic is sometimes blurry. So I don't worry about it. If some guy likes me for whatever reason and I like him back for whatever reason, I'm good. We're all a bundle of influences and neurosis and I find it not only a giant waste of time to try to figure it all out, but so much more fun to just enjoy a guy's idiosyncrasies.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 29, 2016 6:22 AM GMT
    eipoika saidFor me all this"gay racial hierarchy" and "sexual racism" thing is bs. People just have preferences and certain qualities are more appealing to some than to others.
    We live in times in which we are told that everyone is beautiful and every race and size and shape and everything is just as beautiful as any other and people feel bad admitting their preferences when they shouldn't.
    Plus we live in a victimizing culture. People have to get over some stuff. It is not healthy.


    It's not bs it's real if it was really just racial preferences then the gay world would not be so heavily slanted towards white/caucasiod men. As everyone would be on a equal footing
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 29, 2016 6:27 AM GMT
    mcbrion saidI agree with Cody4U.
    Fetishes usually (but not always) involve some kind of erotic objectification, and White culture doesn't fit that, since it is in the mainstream. It is usually the more "exotic" peoples who are fetishized: anyone of any other culture fits that. Latin, Black, Asian, Polynesian, etc. Or it can be an object: Only liking men wearing leather, for example, to the point of excluding every other man who doesn't wear it is a fetish.

    And there are many gay men of color who want a White lover ONLY, but that speaks to a perspective of being Black is "less than", meaning 'I think less of myself, so I don't want to be with myself as reflected in the face of another_________(whatever your 'exotic ethnicity') as the person I could fall in love with.'

    Saw this a lot in San Francisco, and it is the exact reason Marlon Riggs made the film Tongues Untied. I knew him casually, as he used to frequent Castro Street, but I went to see his film out of curiosity after several White friends relayed to me that they got what I was trying to tell them about dating White men (one of my (White) friends said I only dated White men because that's all he saw me with, until I pointed out that Black men who liked other Black men didn't hang out in the Castro, and HE (my friend) never went anywhere where Black men hung out (they sure didn't go to the Castro to meet another Black man), but that I did, and he didn't see me when I was dating other Black men).
    Back to Marlon: his perspective was that Black men needed to not be self-hating.
    There will be always be White men who fetishize Black men. There will always be Black men who are, as one poster so crudely - and racist, too boot, put it - are 'so thirsty for White dick.' And there will always be women who only like rich and powerful men. And men who only like blondes (Sylvester Stallone - when he was young and dumb, something he cops to - comes to mind) What's the difference? It's not ONLY color: it's socioeconomic and class-related as well.

    A fetish exists in the mind first, and it can be healthy, if it exists within a limited part of your total life experience (like collecting Chinese Tang dynasty art objects), or it can lead you along an obsessive path,such as collecting persons for traits you believe they ALL have (monolithic thinking) which is rarely a good thing.


    And that is what pretty much the majority of gay men with a racial fetish have. Do you think a lot of these white men with a black fetish have a positive view on Black men. No you are simply reduced and seen as sex object who is just the same as any other Black men someone who is well endowed and good in bed nothing more nothing else
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2600

    Jun 29, 2016 2:20 PM GMT
    Sometimes? Often (95% of the time) by asian guys. Normally new immigrants who see me as the blonde blue eyed boy they were taught to lust after. Living in Canada, both Vancouver and Toronto at different times, we have a lot of recent immigrants so it's common enough.

    Sometimes by black guys, but I think the fetish is less about me and more about them. It's pretty common they fetishize themselves to me IE "you want my bbc? little white pussy boy wants a real mans dick?" and so on on that vein of them being a big black guy and me being the little white boy they want to use.
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    Jun 29, 2016 2:51 PM GMT
    HeatwaveBaby said
    CODY4U saidIn my totally anecdotal experience, white guys don't seem to get as offended or feel as fetishized as gay men of color. I was on a4a with one of my white friends, and he messaged a black guy that had "no white guys" on his profile. He really didn't feel any type of way about it. If he sees a big dick, he'll message regardless. On the contrary, lots of gay men of color get deep in their feelings over seeing "no blacks/no Asians/whites only" on profiles. It really fucks with their heads long after they log out. It's very interesting to see the differences in reaction. I think it's best to be carefree about objectification and preferences. Obsessing over these things gives people too much power over you.


    ^^^What he said

    Whenever I had a profile on a4a, grindr, etc...if all I had showing was a torso, I would get msgs from guys that had the "no blacks" or "only into white guys" statements in their profiles. I would just laugh and tell them they got the wrong guy and keep it moving.

    If they're "only into blacks" or "ethnic", I'd engage them in conversation to see the story behind the preference. Often times, I still ended up not fitting the mold. So, when the conversation was done, so was I. No ill feelings about eitherway


    A lot of the "whites only" guys are total chocolate/BBC chasers on the DL. Seems like the same inner conflict we see in closeted anti-gay republicans. I always find it kinda funny how "friendly" they are in messaging. In a situation where they're hot and I'm horny, I wouldn't be opposed to hooking up. I wouldn't take them seriously for anything but sex, but sex is really all most of us will get from sites and apps anyway.
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    Jun 30, 2016 4:38 PM GMT
    Matthew56 said
    eipoika saidFor me all this"gay racial hierarchy" and "sexual racism" thing is bs. People just have preferences and certain qualities are more appealing to some than to others.
    We live in times in which we are told that everyone is beautiful and every race and size and shape and everything is just as beautiful as any other and people feel bad admitting their preferences when they shouldn't.
    Plus we live in a victimizing culture. People have to get over some stuff. It is not healthy.


    It's not bs it's real if it was really just racial preferences then the gay world would not be so heavily slanted towards white/caucasiod men. As everyone would be on a equal footing


    Come on! The only hierarchy I know in the "gay world" is the penis size one. And as far as I'm concerned black guys are on the top of this hierarchy. After all gays are "heavily slanted" towards big dicks.
    Look, there might be some historical reasons on racial preferences (and ofc racism) but we are in 2016 and I don't think that it is a big thing now.
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    Jun 30, 2016 10:13 PM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow said
    eipoika said
    Matthew56 said
    eipoika saidFor me all this"gay racial hierarchy" and "sexual racism" thing is bs. People just have preferences and certain qualities are more appealing to some than to others.
    We live in times in which we are told that everyone is beautiful and every race and size and shape and everything is just as beautiful as any other and people feel bad admitting their preferences when they shouldn't.
    Plus we live in a victimizing culture. People have to get over some stuff. It is not healthy.


    It's not bs it's real if it was really just racial preferences then the gay world would not be so heavily slanted towards white/caucasiod men. As everyone would be on a equal footing


    Come on! The only hierarchy I know in the "gay world" is the penis size one. And as far as I'm concerned black guys are on the top of this hierarchy. After all gays are "heavily slanted" towards big dicks.
    Look, there might be some historical reasons on racial preferences (and ofc racism) but we are in 2016 and I don't think that it is a big thing now.


    There are enough white and Latino guys with big enough dicks. For most gay men looks trump a big dick, so if you aren't attractive you're not going to get an opportunity to flash the big dick. Why do you think so many blacks whine white guys won't give them the time of day? White guys, in general, do not find black guys attractive. This of course doesn't apply to size queens who could give a shit what your face looks like just as long as you're swinging 8" or more.


    I was using some irony there. That is off topic.
    The bottom line here is that "objectification" is not a bad thing,
    If a guy is going out with you because you are black... well, that's good for you! If a guy goes out with you because you are hung, that's great for you!
    It is stupid to say that because it's so obvious but people only go out/date/hook up with people they fancy! And people do choose their partners primarily based on looks. They'll only really get to know them after a while.
    So how can something like "I'm going out with you because I like black guys" be offensive?

    The problem might be that if you are not up only for casual sex and want to have a relationship, maybe you're afraid not being what the other person is looking for although you have physical features they enjoy.

    I've been noticing that gay men are taking on complexes women usually have like the objectification thing. That's sad.
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    Jul 06, 2016 3:15 AM GMT
    As a white man........I'd like to see more ice cream flavors.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3729

    Jul 06, 2016 4:01 AM GMT
    sadly if you must be informed, in my experience white guys just for the most part dont really think about minorities at all. If you want to think of it this way, show a white guy this:180px-BandAid.jpg
    and ask him about his opinion of the HUGE CONTROVERSY about them.

    You will get nothing but a Blank Stare and a WTF?

    Then you can go on about how they are all about colonialism and white privilege, etc etc.

    He will probably have no IDEA what the hell you are talking about. Your opinions on crap like this, or your "OBJECTIFICATION", JUST ARE NOT ON THE RADAR.

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jul 06, 2016 6:43 PM GMT
    eipoika said
    Matthew56 said
    eipoika saidFor me all this"gay racial hierarchy" and "sexual racism" thing is bs. People just have preferences and certain qualities are more appealing to some than to others.
    We live in times in which we are told that everyone is beautiful and every race and size and shape and everything is just as beautiful as any other and people feel bad admitting their preferences when they shouldn't.
    Plus we live in a victimizing culture. People have to get over some stuff. It is not healthy.


    It's not bs it's real if it was really just racial preferences then the gay world would not be so heavily slanted towards white/caucasiod men. As everyone would be on a equal footing


    Come on! The only hierarchy I know in the "gay world" is the penis size one. And as far as I'm concerned black guys are on the top of this hierarchy. After all gays are "heavily slanted" towards big dicks.
    Look, there might be some historical reasons on racial preferences (and ofc racism) but we are in 2016 and I don't think that it is a big thing now.


    Oh and you think that is good thing that white men or some white men go for black men because they stupidly believe in that particular stereotype

    That just reinforces what I am talking about black men being reduced to some dirty little secret fetish to some white men not for relationships just for sex