Jul 16, 2016 3:16 PM GMT
So I've never been single in my entire life until about a month ago when my relationship with my first boyfriend ended very badly. I'm 35. I'm finding it extremely difficult to being comfortable by myself. I find myself wanting to chat with anybody just to talk. I've even started talking to my abusive ex again basically as a crutch to have a person there at all times. I know I've got a lot of work to do on myself before I will be able to offer anything to someone else. I'm feeling defeated, empty, alone, sad, depressed. I'm trying really hard to focus on the positives like my children, family, career, and home but it's hard. I had so many dreams of what my life was going to be with my ex and now all of that has vanished. It's just me and my two young kids now. How do I convince myself I am strong enough to do this? How do I dig myself out of the depression? How do I learn to be happy being single? I feel very lost. The other thing I have been doing is prowling Grindr and other apps. For me it is an escape. I get a rush from all the good looking men. But sometimes I spend hours doing it. I always tell myself I'm looking for friends but that's not true. I think I know what I need to do but I'm avoiding the emotions I don't want to feel. I appreciate advice though.