Unexpected intense infatuation during hookup

  • LutheranGuy

    Posts: 30

    Jul 24, 2016 3:12 PM GMT
    So it's supposed to just be NSA / anon casual play he's str8 curios , but bam, this guy is one in a thousand, immediately I know he's in a league where I'll never see him again, right? Just talking to him I felt nervous. Anyone else had this where it's just a hookup but he wowed you in several ways can't stop thinking about him? I try to let go, but there in my head he remains. Said he would think about hanging again, how long would you wait and would you text him or nah?
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    Jul 24, 2016 3:41 PM GMT
    LutheranGuy said
    ...how long would you wait and would you text him or nah?

    Always a tough question, and mostly dependent upon the guy himself. Which can be difficult to judge, and certainly for us here in an online forum. Contact him right away and he might feel pressured and back off. Let too much time slip by and he'll feel you're not sufficiently interested and move on.

    There's no standard formula to give you. Although under a week , maybe 3-4 days, might be striking a good balance. You've met him, we didn't. You presumably know how eager he appeared. And can he contact you, as well? Or did he leave the ball in your court?

    His being straight is another wild card. He may just be looking for sex alone, and will jump at the first woman he can and drop you. Therefore knowing if he's really gay-closeted, and likely to come out, is another challenge for you. And if he's not, well, you could be wasting your time.
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    Jul 25, 2016 2:00 AM GMT
    DL dudes can be sketchie/evasive but not all of them. Next day (ASAP) send a totally innocuous but coded text between you two letting him know that "it" was fun and let's do it again. If he bites at least he had fun too. If he's desperate or hopeless take a clue. Don't pin your hopes on a closeted dude (many of us have been there) but there is always hope.
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    Jul 25, 2016 5:51 AM GMT
    If he actually exchanged digits with you, it's a good sign. Within a week, it's probably cool to invite him to whatever that sport or activity that you talked about was. This can even be the next day. Or next week, mention that you'll be back at whatever place you met him. It might or might not lead anywhere.

    If you just have his hook-up site profile, it's pretty neutral. If he doesn't respond after one or two messages, stop pestering him. He'll probably just put you on "block" anyway.
  • Dynamo_spark

    Posts: 224

    Jul 25, 2016 7:49 AM GMT
    If it's a hookup with NSA, that's all it is. Hookup again with him, maybe there is chemistry?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jul 25, 2016 4:15 PM GMT
    I wouldn't wait. I'd text him before he had a chance to get home just saying that was great! Can't wait to see you again. Why play games? I never have. I know when some guy I just met is eager to let me know he enjoyed being with me, it is nothing but a great feeling. Games are for girls.
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    Jul 26, 2016 3:19 PM GMT
    Nothing wrong with infatuation but you need to resist creating a fantasy out of this. Best of luck.
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    Jul 26, 2016 3:36 PM GMT
    LutheranGuy said... how long would you wait and would you text him or nah?
    text him now
  • LutheranGuy

    Posts: 30

    Jul 26, 2016 11:48 PM GMT
    Thank you gents, some real insight here that I needed reinforced. The "straight" cross-overs are really a whole genre of their own.

    Thanks again <3