PHILOSOPHY: How important is authenticity to you?

  • metta

    Posts: 39134

    Jul 29, 2016 1:52 AM GMT
    Whether it is your partner/husband, family member, a close friend, a co-worker, your boss, a politician, etc., how important is authenticity to you? And do you expect different levels of authenticity on various people or is it pretty consistent? If so, how does it differ.

    " authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, despite external pressures; the conscious self is seen as coming to terms with being in a material world and with encountering external forces, pressures, and influences which are very different from, and other than, itself. A lack of authenticity is considered in existentialism to be bad faith.[2]"
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authenticity_(philosophy)
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Jul 29, 2016 2:49 AM GMT
    why would i want to be friends with a lie?
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1160

    Jul 29, 2016 3:03 AM GMT
    Many people lie to themselves all the time. Authenticity is very important to me. It's of paramount importance, in fact.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Jul 29, 2016 4:43 AM GMT
    Completely. Someone who hides parts of themselves is in a state of shame, and shame carries low self-esteem within it. If a person can't be real, they are not a realized person. They are faking it.
    Leo Buscaglia wrote, "We cannot, hiding who we are, ask a stranger, hiding who HE is, to love us, and expect to find real happiness."
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 280

    Jul 29, 2016 11:44 AM GMT
    There are times when it is necessary to allow yourself to be 'influenced by external forces' (to borrow from the quote posted by the OP), for example, when you're at work, you might be required to keep your personal emotions in check, otherwise being 100% honest towards a difficult customer or co-worker you don't get along with could cause you to get sacked. So with working relationships, i like bosses and co-workers to keep a lot of personal feelings to themselves.

    As for personal relationships, I want it to be a slow process of getting to know someone's thoughts and feelings on various things. I don't feel the need to push people to be honest and upfront about anything and everything. Because I don't like to be pressured into being upfront about all of my personal opinions and experiences. And that's where a lot of people have gone wrong with me - they think that because I'm naturally quiet and reserved that I'm hiding something, and then they start asking certain questions and making certain comments that make me feel uncomfortable. Like it's become their duty to force me to be a bit more authentic. The conversation goes from being harmless banter, to an intrusive interrogation. That might sound dramatic, but I think having a relationship based on authenticity requires a good amount of patience.
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    Jul 29, 2016 2:18 PM GMT
    Authenticity cannot be faked. One may be able to hide his authentic self for a short while, but the "true self" reveals itself eventually because it's impossible to perform a role that is inconsistent with who you really are and what you truly represent 24x7x52. The human spirit is not capable of taking on that heavy burden for a protracted period of time. One of the best ways to see someone's authentic self is when that person is under emotional stress or duress (for example, when someone's angry). This is the reason why we, in general, tend to trust people with a long history of good performance/behavior because we know, deep within us, that good performance/behavior over a period of time cannot be faked. So when someone tells me, "believe me," I take it with a grain of salt because I know that the person saying that doesn't truly believe in what he's saying. Rather, I look at his behavior over a period of time and I make my own judgment based on that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2016 2:46 PM GMT
    "When someone claims that they are "only being authentic" nine times out of ten they are using authenticity as an excuse for being an asshole."

    The biggest liars I've known talked the best game about being honest.

    As for assholes, I try not to be one. I don't say the first mean thing that comes into my head.
    I explore my opinions internally before I feel the need to share them.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Jul 29, 2016 3:28 PM GMT
    I think gay men inherently tend to be secretive --- some more than others. "Authenticity" is an ideal that isn't nearly as easy to find as we wish it were.
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    Jul 29, 2016 5:50 PM GMT
    I feel sorry for, and a little bit disgusted with, people who lie to themselves.
    I know guys who believe themselves when they say "I workout every day." when on average they exercise once a week.
    They never achieve goals and always sincerely wonder why.

    And of course there's that classic reinterpretation of the word "MONOGAMY".
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    Jul 30, 2016 6:36 PM GMT
    WestCoastJock saidIt is very very important to me. My The heart I borrowed from a neighbor for the purposes of this post was breaking when I saw Bernie nominate Hillary for President this week. After we learned that Hillary and the DNC had rigged the election in her favor from the very beginning. I would never consider ever voting for a democrat ever again. #GreenPartyForevertrump

    fixed

    Is a scoundrel being a scoundrel being authentic?

    EVERY NOW AND THEN
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1061322
    aug 7, 2010
    “So why are samxr (now JPG aka sam aka gymreak aka theantiCock etc etc etc), southbeach (westcoastjock) & pouncer (now JofM) trying to demonize Israel”

    THEN
    rabid (preTrump) GOPer southbeach1500 said http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4047610/ Uh oh. Last time this topic came up, Pouncer and Mwolverine (Caesarea) hijacked it as a new battlefield for their never-ending RJ Arab - Israeli warfare.

    NOW
    rotten smelly green thing WestCoastJock said http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4229869?forumpage=1 This is just what I mean, all someone does is mention Israel and in just a few posts thoese two guys are fighting their stupid arab/Israel war again. Stop it already.


    THEN
    rabid pre-Trump GOPer southbeach1500 said http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1906532/ Oh dear... lots of "non-gays" infiltrating the gay ghetto of Wilton Manors... icon_cry.gif

    I'm sure the Hurricane Committee will be holding special meetings to discuss...

    NOW
    rotten smelly green thing WestCoastJock said http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4230969 Just got back from the meeting of our neighborhood vote for Bernie club and everyone said they do not appreciate being taken for a ride by Bernie and we are all going to vote for Jill Stein and the green party.


    Seriously SB, watching your antics online now is like watching a homeless child bully. Ya wanna feel sorry for'm that he's lost his GOP home but he won't stop beat'n up on people and he smells like shit. I won't invite you in. I just had the car cleaned. Here, how about if I just throw a wadded up dollar bill at you from the rolled down window. Get yourself something to eat, for God's sakes. And use their McBathroom to wash while you're at it. You look a mess!
  • Eleven

    Posts: 159

    Jul 30, 2016 6:50 PM GMT
    Authenticity is penultimate to transparency.

    I can spot a fake imitation a mile away, there is nothing like seeing the real deal in a person thats when you can see yourself and can begin to identify and connect.