what should I do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2016 10:30 PM GMT
    Hi. Am a young african uni grad.. Plus I have other things am working on, but when it comes to finding a man, no matter his race ... I seem so unattractive or visible to them, even here same thing is happening ... What should I do cause I feel so irrelevant.
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    Jul 29, 2016 11:12 PM GMT
    Don't know that any of us can be of much help, since we are not in Nigeria. I imagine it is very hard to have a gay relationship there - with all the anti-gay feeling in the populace and government. South Africa is about the only African country I am aware of where gay men can lead ordinary lives. Can you move there?
  • Tawrich

    Posts: 67

    Jul 30, 2016 2:11 AM GMT
    Take a few years to enjoy being single. You're a recent uni grad I take it? That's one of the best and unfortunately most stressful times on one's life. Figure out who you are and what you care about first then you'll know how to meet the guys you will respect and who will respect you. One thing at a time.
  • Tawrich

    Posts: 67

    Jul 30, 2016 2:13 AM GMT
    Also be careful. You know your country better than all of us. Try online friendships first.
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    Jul 30, 2016 6:34 AM GMT
    Thanks #hikerskier, moving to south Africa is not really a good idea, I would rather try online dating and move out of the country if the guy in question is serious and wants me to.
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    Jul 30, 2016 6:37 AM GMT
    Tawrich I would try that out , but online friendship I could engage in is something that would be far from home..I don't know if you get me, but all the same thanks a lot I appreciate you guys.
  • Okieman

    Posts: 1

    Jul 31, 2016 12:51 AM GMT
    You're anything but irrelevant. I'm not out, so I've never really been in a relationship with another man. But, now that I'm starting to look, I'm still rather shy, and it hasn't been easy. But, I suppose I'm old enough to know that anything worth having is worth waiting for. Keep putting yourself out there. You'll find him, eventually, and when you do, you'll know that it was worth the wait. I hope that doesn't sound empty and trite. You are a nice-looking guy, and apparently you have a big heart--one to share with someone else. Keep your head up. He may yet find you. You're NOT irrelevant, my man. Be encouraged.
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    Aug 01, 2016 6:07 PM GMT
    @okieman.. I appreciate you like one thousand and one times, you're such a darling plus you've said something so encouraging....thanks a lot , much love man.
  • AnonymKOIA

    Posts: 90

    Aug 01, 2016 8:05 PM GMT
    You are only 21,take it easy. And NO,few online things last. Are you gonna look for a job or continue with your studies? Whichever it maybe,talk and mingle with other people in real life. Don't worry about rejection,you got nothing to lose. Workplace is good to get to know new people so keep your head up and be positive.

    You look handsome and attractive I think. Black and white pics are never flattering, so yeah work on simple pics. Did I say mingle with people,yeah. Its easy to win in real life than online. You are attractive. Try Badoo site also,lots of Naijas there.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2016 3:08 AM GMT
    i think the #1 issue is your location.
    So glad I don't live in Africa anymore as a gay man.
    I think South Africa, sounds like an improvement for sure.
    Also, work on your self esteem...It is such a turn off for me.
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    Aug 05, 2016 7:54 AM GMT
    Thanks so much @AnonymkoiA .... Am already a university graduate here in Nigeria and I have a passion for entrepreneurship although I have started something but lots of things need to be put in place. And about all that you said I would do something about it too... Thanks once again
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    Aug 05, 2016 8:01 AM GMT
    @followingrivers i agree with you on changing my location , I've had that in mind, plans have been made but am still dragging much at finances to move... If am settled at that, then am free to relocate.
    I would also work on my self esteem ... Thanks a million times.