Is it racist to have a personal preference or is it okay for a person to have personal preferences? And how does one respond if either they are the one with the personal preference or they're the one being rejected based on their race?

  • Joshthegaymer

    Posts: 91

    Jul 30, 2016 5:46 PM GMT
    I'm just curious if it is racist for someone to have a personal preference for certain groups [example: a white guy being into Latino/Hispanic guys, Asian guys, Middle Eastern guys, and other white guys] while at the same time trying to give all people a fair chance. Personally, I have been rejected a couple times by guys on other dating sites based on my multi-racial background, my religious beliefs, and other stupid reasons. Therefore, I would like to ask y'all what you think on this important topic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2016 6:01 PM GMT

    Some would say it's a preference. The more judgemental would say it's racist even though they also have preferences.

    The fact is humans are humans and you can't force them to be attracted. It's best to just move on and not take it too seriously.
  • Eleven

    Posts: 165

    Jul 30, 2016 6:39 PM GMT
    Its not racist to have a personal preference but there are guys out there who like to make a big show out of excluding certain groups because they think they are inferior, they are racist

    I have personal preferences but im making it my mission to have sex with at least every nationality. And ill try anything at least twice, except for polish guys I got an std from one once

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2016 7:19 PM GMT
    If you had a preference for blonds and a smoking hot packed and stacked red head put the move on you, how would you respond?

    If it just a preference for blonds the red is smoking hot pack and stack and the dance is on.

    When people say I have a preference for white, usually it means that the smoking hot packed and stacked non-white doesn't exist.
  • Joshthegaymer

    Posts: 91

    Jul 30, 2016 7:47 PM GMT
    Eleven saidIts not racist to have a personal preference but there are guys out there who like to make a big show out of excluding certain groups because they think they are inferior, they are racist

    I have personal preferences but im making it my mission to have sex with at least every nationality. And ill try anything at least twice, except for polish guys I got an std from one once



    I have Polish ancestry and let me just say that I am very sorry that you got an std from a Polish guy. icon_sad.gif
  • Tawrich

    Posts: 67

    Jul 30, 2016 7:55 PM GMT
    its not but don't be a ahole
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Jul 30, 2016 8:08 PM GMT
    Isn't preference of this kind a question of personal attraction? IF it becomes a basis for negative behavior, then it's bad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2016 8:27 PM GMT
    Racism seems in style these days, go for it.
  • Joshthegaymer

    Posts: 91

    Jul 30, 2016 9:33 PM GMT
    For the record, I am just asking from a by-stander's point of view. I am not racist and I try to give everyone a fair chance when it comes to dating. I will admit that I myself have personal preferences, but I respect others as well.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Jul 30, 2016 10:34 PM GMT
    Joshthegaymer saidI'm just curious if it is racist for someone to have a personal preference ... my religious beliefs, and other stupid reasons.


    UM...religious belief exclusion is NOT a stupid reason. Religious beliefs are not compatible and frankly offensive to my ethos, so it is NOT stupid to exclude someone for that reasoon.

    In fact the whole question is moot. Is it racist, YES, is it a preference, YES. Is it any of your business NO. Do you get a say in the matter, NO.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jul 30, 2016 10:58 PM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow saidIt is not always racist to have preferences when it comes to the skin color or physical attributes of your love interests. Then again is it can be. The question is why worry about others. You can't change others, only yourself.

    If you're being rejected on the basis of race how is that any different than being rejected because you're not smart enough or handsome enough or athletic enough? Those are things you don't have control over either.



    You can Increase you're Iq become more attractive through surgery but in the eyes of some of you white men. I will always be an ugly black men simply because I am black
  • jeepguySD

    Posts: 651

    Jul 30, 2016 11:14 PM GMT
    Attraction is purely subjective. We cannot control who, or what, turns us on. OP, ask yourself this: is it sexist to be attracted to men and not to women? Of course not. There is a difference between not wanting to have sex with a person, and viewing that person as inherently inferior and trying to abrogate that person's human rights. Is it not possible to view a person as fully equal and still not want to have sex with that person?
  • xamora

    Posts: 5

    Jul 30, 2016 11:56 PM GMT
    I personally don't understand how you can know you won't like someone based solely on the colour of their skin or their national origin. For me to say "no Asians" or "no Blacks" (or given I'm half Asian and half Black, maybe better to say "no Whites") presupposes I know what every Asian or Black person looks like, and I've already made up my mind I don't like that. It's a peculiar kind of closed mindedness that is, if not racism, silly at best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2016 12:32 AM GMT
    Having preferences is OK. Condemning someone for his/her preferences is not OK. However, preferences that are a product of hatred or ungrounded stereotypes isn't OK.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2016 3:34 AM GMT
    Eleven saidIts not racist to have a personal preference but there are guys out there who like to make a big show out of excluding certain groups because they think they are inferior, they are racist

    I have personal preferences but im making it my mission to have sex with at least every nationality. And ill try anything at least twice, except for polish guys I got an std from one once


    I'm sorry I thought this was hilarious. Only because I've said the same things years ago. But it's hard to find hot, available guys of certain places unless you travel a lot. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2016 5:28 AM GMT
    Lord, give me black fella over white fella any day.
  • Lonz

    Posts: 2

    Jul 31, 2016 6:29 PM GMT
    I think it depends on why you have that preference. Is it really you being more attracted to a certain type of look or is it because you think their race is beneath yours.
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 281

    Jul 31, 2016 10:55 PM GMT
    If they turned you down because of your racial background then yes, that is a racist reason to turn someone down. But I would say don't take it to heart if it's happened online. Meeting someone online is totally different from meeting someone in the flesh. Online, people are just a photo and a page of text, and a lot of users on dating sites and apps don't make the effort to take it beyond that. I do think most people have a preconception of the type of partner they would like to meet up with, and chances are, we are not going to meet our dream man on a website. even if someone on a dating site does meet the ideal physical description, they're not guaranteed to have the ideal personality. So, while having preferences is natural, it really does give people a narrow minded approach to dating, even more so to online dating.
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1171

    Jul 31, 2016 11:00 PM GMT
    Aunty_Jack saidLord, give me black fella over white fella any day.


    jnjyxa31o8_thats_racist_animated1.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2016 2:06 PM GMT
    IMHO, preferences are natural. The problem is in what we tell others (and ourselves), especially when we try to find descriptors that will exclude or discourage people from trying to get to know us.

    1. If you're attracted to A PERSON, you're attracted to THAT PERSON. Don't try to break it down into their race, height, hair color, build etc because you will find exception after exception both in what you're attracted to and in your turnoffs. And then you'll wind up performing the typical mental gymnastics to try to explain what made that person different than the others. Not all people of a specific "race" have the same physical features or skin tone or personality or behavior and races are more mixed now than ever.

    2. Is it ever useful to tell someone why you're physically not into them? I've never found it to be whether it was because of their body type, hair, race, height etc. In fact, whether physical or personality driven, unless someone asks AND unless it was something they could easily change, I have not once found it useful to tell someone why I'm not into them.

    3. I've found that some of us get really disappointed when someone we're not attracted to hits on us and as a result we sort of try to punish them. This is a really crappy way to treat people who are into you.

  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Aug 01, 2016 6:48 PM GMT
    If you disagree with a white Liberal on anything, you're racist.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Aug 01, 2016 6:49 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidIMHO, preferences are natural. The problem is in what we tell others (and ourselves), especially when we try to find descriptors that will exclude or discourage people from trying to get to know us.

    1. If you're attracted to A PERSON, you're attracted to THAT PERSON. Don't try to break it down into their race, height, hair color, build etc because you will find exception after exception both in what you're attracted to and in your turnoffs. And then you'll wind up performing the typical mental gymnastics to try to explain what made that person different than the others. Not all people of a specific "race" have the same physical features or skin tone or personality or behavior and races are more mixed now than ever.

    2. Is it ever useful to tell someone why you're physically not into them? I've never found it to be whether it was because of their body type, hair, race, height etc. In fact, whether physical or personality driven, unless someone asks AND unless it was something they could easily change, I have not once found it useful to tell someone why I'm not into them.

    3. I've found that some of us get really disappointed when someone we're not attracted to hits on us and as a result we sort of try to punish them. This is a really crappy way to treat people who are into you.



    Nice list of rules/commandments. Fuck this.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Aug 02, 2016 3:01 AM GMT
    Joshthegaymer saidI'm just curious if it is racist for someone to have a personal preference for certain groups [example: a white guy being into Latino/Hispanic guys, Asian guys, Middle Eastern guys, and other white guys] while at the same time trying to give all people a fair chance. Personally, I have been rejected a couple times by guys on other dating sites based on my multi-racial background, my religious beliefs, and other stupid reasons. Therefore, I would like to ask y'all what you think on this important topic.


    It's often just a matter of what gives you "The Bone." Make your choices based on your desires, not someone else's.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2016 3:28 AM GMT
    @joshthegamer, thanks for bringing this up! Great entertaining comments.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2016 5:03 AM GMT
    Thank you, woodfordr, for the poignant, conscientious response, seriously. Cheers to thoughtful, responsible dialogue.