Aug 09, 2016 8:34 PM GMT
So I’ve been dating this same guy for almost 2 months now. He’s pretty much an introvert and isn’t very “outgoing”. The situation started out great. We met through a dating app. He messaged me first and we talked through texting almost every day throughout the week. We finally met up and the date went great. Fast forward a little and he’s slept over, we’ve had sex and we’ve seen each other once or twice a week on going for about two months. I really like him a lot.
About a couple of weeks ago, I started to notice that our conversation through texting and even stuff like Snapchat has diminished. I live in a different city than him and it takes him about an hour to come see me when we meet up. (For some reason he always wants to come to me versus me coming to him. I’ve asked and asked and that’s what he wants to do). I do take it as a good sign that he travels all this way to come see me and I think ultimately, that’s a huge plus that he is interested. Anyway, since we see each other only once or twice a week, texting and snapchat is really our only other means of communication and since it’s diminished, I felt like he was losing interest. So about a week ago, I asked him in person if he was enjoying us being together as much as I was and he said he was. I then went on vacation for a week and a half and he didn’t text me first or initiate anything at all. I missed him, so I text him to ask how his day was, start a conversation, etc.. and I got such short responses back. I feel like we haven’t talked at all. We maybe had 3 very short conversations during my whole week and a half vacation. I feel like I’m now bothering him whenever I text him.
I hate to say it, but I’m really trying not to be clingy and follow certain boundaries. Yes, I firmly believe and know that communication is the most important thing, but I don’t want to show desperation and weakness. Since the last thing we talked about before I left for vacation was a talk on if he was enjoying our being together, I don’t want to keep bringing it up. He gave me verbal confirmation, yet his actions through technology now are completely the opposite. That to me is what makes this a very confusing situation. If this is how he is with technology after he knows a person, I’m completely fine with that and can live with it. But if these are signs that I’m losing him with really no warning or clue why, then I don’t know what to do.
I’m also very lost on if two months is also too soon to bring up a talk about making this an official relationship. I would like to be able to call him my boyfriend and to take a next step, but I again don’t want to come off as too strong or scare him away. I also just read an article https://www.territrespicio.com/dont-have-the-relationship-talk/ and a lot of it made sense to me. But it did talk about how you should delay the DTR talk as much as possible. I’m not sure what to think of that. Do you guys agree? Do you think that this article isn’t necessary aimed at gay relationships? I also would like to bring up the conversation sooner than later because I don’t want to be going through this confusion for another two months and then find out he’s not even looking for a relationship.
Again, I know every relationship is different and there isn’t a timeline on anything really, but I’m just trying to get any sort of opinion on this specific situation. I’m trying to see if he’s being flaky, if it’s all in my head, or if I did something to make the situation turn out this way. Again, I would not like to have yet another conversation with him about if he’s into me still. At least not anytime soon.
Any advice?
About a couple of weeks ago, I started to notice that our conversation through texting and even stuff like Snapchat has diminished. I live in a different city than him and it takes him about an hour to come see me when we meet up. (For some reason he always wants to come to me versus me coming to him. I’ve asked and asked and that’s what he wants to do). I do take it as a good sign that he travels all this way to come see me and I think ultimately, that’s a huge plus that he is interested. Anyway, since we see each other only once or twice a week, texting and snapchat is really our only other means of communication and since it’s diminished, I felt like he was losing interest. So about a week ago, I asked him in person if he was enjoying us being together as much as I was and he said he was. I then went on vacation for a week and a half and he didn’t text me first or initiate anything at all. I missed him, so I text him to ask how his day was, start a conversation, etc.. and I got such short responses back. I feel like we haven’t talked at all. We maybe had 3 very short conversations during my whole week and a half vacation. I feel like I’m now bothering him whenever I text him.
I hate to say it, but I’m really trying not to be clingy and follow certain boundaries. Yes, I firmly believe and know that communication is the most important thing, but I don’t want to show desperation and weakness. Since the last thing we talked about before I left for vacation was a talk on if he was enjoying our being together, I don’t want to keep bringing it up. He gave me verbal confirmation, yet his actions through technology now are completely the opposite. That to me is what makes this a very confusing situation. If this is how he is with technology after he knows a person, I’m completely fine with that and can live with it. But if these are signs that I’m losing him with really no warning or clue why, then I don’t know what to do.
I’m also very lost on if two months is also too soon to bring up a talk about making this an official relationship. I would like to be able to call him my boyfriend and to take a next step, but I again don’t want to come off as too strong or scare him away. I also just read an article https://www.territrespicio.com/dont-have-the-relationship-talk/ and a lot of it made sense to me. But it did talk about how you should delay the DTR talk as much as possible. I’m not sure what to think of that. Do you guys agree? Do you think that this article isn’t necessary aimed at gay relationships? I also would like to bring up the conversation sooner than later because I don’t want to be going through this confusion for another two months and then find out he’s not even looking for a relationship.
Again, I know every relationship is different and there isn’t a timeline on anything really, but I’m just trying to get any sort of opinion on this specific situation. I’m trying to see if he’s being flaky, if it’s all in my head, or if I did something to make the situation turn out this way. Again, I would not like to have yet another conversation with him about if he’s into me still. At least not anytime soon.
Any advice?
