Should a Family Take a Gender-Non-Conforming Child to NC?

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    Aug 12, 2016 4:45 AM GMT
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    NYT: For the past 10 years, my husband’s family has convened for an annual summer reunion at a beach house in North Carolina. It’s great fun for the many young cousins who attend, and our two children spend the year looking forward to it.

    Our 6-year-old child, J.G., is gender-nonconforming. We had been in denial about this fact until several months ago, when J.G. articulated to us how scary and demeaning this felt. We are now out in the open about our child’s gender nonconformity, and J.G. has blossomed from a moody, secretive child into a rambunctious and irrepressible little soul. We live in a liberal area in a liberal state, and J.G. has been accepted with love and generosity in our community. My husband’s large Southern family has also surprised us in recent months with their unconditional love and acceptance.

    We planned and paid for our travel to North Carolina long before House Bill 2 was passed, but as the visit looms closer, my husband and I are feeling increasingly ambivalent. Not only are we worried that residents might single out our somewhat ambiguous-looking child, but we also wonder if we are obligated to explain the situation to J.G., who doesn’t know about the law or the extent of the animus toward L.G.B.T. people. And while we want to stand in solidarity with residents of North Carolina for whom HB2 is such a burden, both of our children would be devastated if we canceled the trip. What is the ethical thing to do in this situation?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/12/magazine/is-it-ok-to-take-a-gender-non-conforming-child-to-north-carolina.html?
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    Aug 12, 2016 2:53 PM GMT
    This all sounds so typical of the type of neurotic parents that would raise a neurotic "gender-nonconforming" 6 year old. Aren't they eventually going to have to explain that aversion to LGBT people exists anyway? Even so, it's just a fucking trip. She acts like they're moving there. Yet another example that shows transkiddies are the products of histrionic parents that have found a new way to get attention.
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    Aug 12, 2016 3:05 PM GMT
    this is the 3rd re post of a NYTimes article by this hidden / deleted member.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Aug 12, 2016 5:57 PM GMT
    CODY4U saidThis all sounds so typical of the type of neurotic parents that would raise a neurotic "gender-nonconforming" 6 year old. Aren't they eventually going to have to explain that aversion to LGBT people exists anyway? Even so, it's just a fucking trip. She acts like they're moving there. Yet another example that shows transkiddies are the products of histrionic parents that have found a new way to get attention.


    With each intolerant, negative comment like this that you make, you give the "gay enemies" (and of course they read these boards) ammo to eventually throw back at you.
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    Aug 12, 2016 6:17 PM GMT
    According to this thread...

    Is It Moral to Put Down an Aging Pooch?
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4236284

    ...you don't cancel your trip. Instead you leave your child at a no kill shelter.
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    Aug 12, 2016 7:06 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    CODY4U saidThis all sounds so typical of the type of neurotic parents that would raise a neurotic "gender-nonconforming" 6 year old. Aren't they eventually going to have to explain that aversion to LGBT people exists anyway? Even so, it's just a fucking trip. She acts like they're moving there. Yet another example that shows transkiddies are the products of histrionic parents that have found a new way to get attention.


    With each intolerant, negative comment like this that you make, you give the "gay enemies" (and of course they read these boards) ammo to eventually throw back at you.


    Eye of the beholder. I don't think I said anything intolerant. On the contrary, I think this woman's complaining (under the guise of asking a question) is quite negative. She comes off as the type of person who's looking for a problem just so she can complain about it, which is where I'm sure you can totally identify with her.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Aug 12, 2016 8:45 PM GMT
    CODY4U said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    CODY4U saidThis all sounds so typical of the type of neurotic parents that would raise a neurotic "gender-nonconforming" 6 year old. Aren't they eventually going to have to explain that aversion to LGBT people exists anyway? Even so, it's just a fucking trip. She acts like they're moving there. Yet another example that shows transkiddies are the products of histrionic parents that have found a new way to get attention.


    With each intolerant, negative comment like this that you make, you give the "gay enemies" (and of course they read these boards) ammo to eventually throw back at you.


    Eye of the beholder. I don't think I said anything intolerant. On the contrary, I think this woman's complaining (under the guise of asking a question) is quite negative. She comes off as the type of person who's looking for a problem just so she can complain about it, which is where I'm sure you can totally identify with her.


    No...but perhaps the Religious Right or some similar groups that hate "gays" will--out of convenience.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 12, 2016 8:57 PM GMT
    I wouldn't take ANY child, adult or myself to this state...or Alabama either.
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    Aug 12, 2016 9:45 PM GMT
    This kid is going to be soooo fucked up. The child is SIX YEARS OLD for crying out loud. Never in history have children been speaking out about their gender, so why now? I have no doubt the parents are badgering this kid and confusing the fuck out of him/her to the point of insanity. There are many extreme Left parents that truly want their kids to be different for attention. Parents used to just dress their kids in outrageous clothing to accomplish this; now they push them into being confused about their gender to create the fireworks.
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    Aug 12, 2016 10:44 PM GMT
    Radd saidThis kid is going to be soooo fucked up. The child is SIX YEARS OLD for crying out loud. Never in history have children been speaking out about their gender, so why now? I have no doubt the parents are badgering this kid and confusing the fuck out of him/her to the point of insanity. There are many extreme Left parents that truly want their kids to be different for attention. Parents used to just dress their kids in outrageous clothing to accomplish this; now they push them into being confused about their gender to create the fireworks.


    Actually, my guess is that most kids do or would do things that aren't gender conforming. A boy playing with a doll is gender non-conforming, a girl playing with toy cars is gender non-conforming. Historically parents and daycares have always steered kids away from this kind of thing but it doesn't mean it hasn't existed. My son went through a few months where he insisted he was Princess Peach from Super Mario Brothers and did so before six. He then got bored with it and moved on. Now he is an 11 year old that wants to be Deadpool and watches My Little Pony. And before you get on your soap box and tell me I am pushing this for attention, I can assure you I am not. There is no one I dislike enough the that I would make them watching My Little Pony. So, younger kids will actually do express gender at a fairly young age and sometimes it doesn't conform to societies ridged definitions. But it isn't the parents that allow their kids to express themselves that are fucking up their kids it is the ones that don't.
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    Aug 13, 2016 2:50 AM GMT
    Why would a site of mostly single gay men and childless gay male couples have insight into this issue.
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    Aug 13, 2016 4:26 AM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    CODY4U said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    CODY4U saidThis all sounds so typical of the type of neurotic parents that would raise a neurotic "gender-nonconforming" 6 year old. Aren't they eventually going to have to explain that aversion to LGBT people exists anyway? Even so, it's just a fucking trip. She acts like they're moving there. Yet another example that shows transkiddies are the products of histrionic parents that have found a new way to get attention.


    With each intolerant, negative comment like this that you make, you give the "gay enemies" (and of course they read these boards) ammo to eventually throw back at you.


    Eye of the beholder. I don't think I said anything intolerant. On the contrary, I think this woman's complaining (under the guise of asking a question) is quite negative. She comes off as the type of person who's looking for a problem just so she can complain about it, which is where I'm sure you can totally identify with her.


    No...but perhaps the Religious Right or some similar groups that hate "gays" will--out of convenience.


    Take your meds, loon!
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14348

    Aug 13, 2016 7:58 PM GMT
    WestCoastJock said
    rnch saidI wouldn't take ANY child, adult or myself to this state...or Alabama either.


    Yeah. I will only travel to solidly progressive states: Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland and New Jersey. I would visit Virginia but only the part around Washington DC and also Illinois but only Chicago. Here in California I will not go to the San Joaquin valley, I prefer to stay in the progressive areas of San Diego,Los Angeles,Palm Springs,Santa Barbara and up the coast to San Francisco.
    How about traveling to Minnesota, Iowa, and Wisconsin. Those are pretty progressive states. You mentioned New Jersey, be careful with that state because it is not as progressive and accepting as it is claimed to be. New Jersey has more in common with Pennsylvania than with any of the blue progressive states you listed despite having laws on its books prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
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    Aug 13, 2016 11:56 PM GMT
    Cliche_Guevara said
    Radd saidThis kid is going to be soooo fucked up. The child is SIX YEARS OLD for crying out loud. Never in history have children been speaking out about their gender, so why now? I have no doubt the parents are badgering this kid and confusing the fuck out of him/her to the point of insanity. There are many extreme Left parents that truly want their kids to be different for attention. Parents used to just dress their kids in outrageous clothing to accomplish this; now they push them into being confused about their gender to create the fireworks.


    Actually, my guess is that most kids do or would do things that aren't gender conforming. A boy playing with a doll is gender non-conforming, a girl playing with toy cars is gender non-conforming. Historically parents and daycares have always steered kids away from this kind of thing but it doesn't mean it hasn't existed. My son went through a few months where he insisted he was Princess Peach from Super Mario Brothers and did so before six. He then got bored with it and moved on. Now he is an 11 year old that wants to be Deadpool and watches My Little Pony. And before you get on your soap box and tell me I am pushing this for attention, I can assure you I am not. There is no one I dislike enough the that I would make them watching My Little Pony. So, younger kids will actually do express gender at a fairly young age and sometimes it doesn't conform to societies ridged definitions. But it isn't the parents that allow their kids to express themselves that are fucking up their kids it is the ones that don't.



    Oh I agree with you. I probably wasn't clear. I played with dolls when I was a kid too but that's not what I was talking about. I meant when parent coerce children into being a different gender at an early age.