Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person

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    Aug 16, 2016 12:50 AM GMT
    The recent RJ thread on suicide rate of gay men, the many singles in our community, and my own experience that gay men are very independent, from a young age, to avoid vulnerability that prevents them from leaning on and leaning in others, move me post this thread from the NYT.

    NYT: We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same: We marry the wrong person.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2016 2:20 PM GMT
    my husband is not perfect but every day we make the decision to stay together.
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    Aug 16, 2016 11:36 PM GMT
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    Aug 16, 2016 11:49 PM GMT
    An amazing piece. Everyone should take a few minutes to read this.
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    Aug 17, 2016 12:49 AM GMT
    Yes, the piece illuminates through every tribulation regarding relationships on RJ. It was the most read article in the NYT ever.
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    Aug 17, 2016 11:09 AM GMT
    My first marriage was wrong.

    My current marriage feels so much more right.
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    Aug 17, 2016 1:12 PM GMT
    "You marry so you can stop thinking about Love."---from the film above

    I can sense that. Who wants to live life as an endless search for love?

    But replacing 'emptiness' for 'wrongness' is miserable and worse than singlehood.

    Find a partner. Make it work. Get on with your life.
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    Aug 17, 2016 6:25 PM GMT
    you are free to leave at any time.

    couples change through time, the person you married will not remain the same through all time. You will have to adjust.

    So every day you choose to live together.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Aug 26, 2016 4:53 AM GMT
    People marry the wrong person because they don't ask the right questions, don't know what their limits are, and frequently go after their parents (the damaged now with whom they have the most issues). It does not escape my notice how often this happens. Saw the NY Times article some time ago. It fits along the the "36 Questions That Lead to Love," also in the NY Tmes.
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    Sep 06, 2016 11:04 AM GMT
    It is because the backdrop of romance is Hollywood and of sex is porn. Both, can leave you cold in the bitter reality of disillusionment.