A friend's Ex died on my birthday...But I was disappointed at my friend nonetheless. Why?

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    Aug 16, 2016 8:35 AM GMT
    Hey realjockers, I'm back...and I need you alls guidance. It's just this new layout...I can't adjust to it. Thought if I went away for a bit, it would change back. Anyway...

    So, I had seen this guy working at a store in the mall 3 months ago. We had a good convo but at the time, he revealed he was in a relationship. We didn't exchange numbers because of it. Fast forward a month or 2 later, I see him working the mall again. This time he's single. Says his ex was incompatible. We exchange numbers. We hangout. Hit it off, flirt, etc. and we hangout 2 more times. Everything is great.

    HOWEVER....two problems: he says he just wants to be friends because he just got out of a relationship and wants to be single. He's always been in relationships and just wants a good friend. But, he didn't say that last time when we were half naked in my bed and I was rubbing him down with massage oil. Ok. But then, my birthday comes around, 8/12...he wishes me happy wishes, but fails to come see me or do anything with me. Big problem. I was initially confident on my birthday, but grew increasingly depressed as he day went on and I realized not a single person would come to see me on my birthday. All because I moved to the fake false flagging town of Nashville Tennessee, and these gays here are ignorant and pretentious. And the friend I thought would see me, make me a shirt for my birthday, etc...never came thru for me.

    Well, I find out the next day when I called him (because he didn't hit me up) to see why he didn't come over...he tells me his ex was hit while walking. I felt horrible for what happened and to see him cry hurt me...but I was annoyed. He told me that they were just talking about getting together again, etc. but yet...he told me something different all this time. It would of ended up being another case of a guy keeping me on the back burner, and then dumping me once they got back together.

    On his Facebook, he's just created this whole shrine for him...I never even seen any pictures of the ex on his page before it happened. I understand he's grieving, I've seen friends die right in front of me, and a person fly like a rag doll when hit by a car. But, its a shame that a tragedy had to take place in order for the truth to surface. So I feel betrayed and kinda disappointed. And I don't wish bad on anyone, but from what my friend told me...their breakup was a breakup. And he told me how the guy was controlling/etc. Well...what energy is that creating if a X is trying to get back with someone whom they separated from, who's to say the X was actually intent on getting back with him? And then, the guy is lying to me for the past couple months saying they broke up, but were planning on getting back together?

    Truth is, I know my emotions had nothing to do with the guy's death. But, at the same time I can't ignore the phrase of, everything happens for a reason...yet people go around hurting and leading people on, and don't think there's a consequence. His "controlling" Ex probably had his mind all fucking twisted, twisted so much that it lead him to neglect me on my birthday to a point I felt I wanted to kill myself. But, I turn to God and pray for strength and peace in my life. People hurting others, hurts more people than just the people being hurt. But I'm not planning to stick around and swoon in on the oppurtunity. The guy is going to be emotionally fucked for longer than I can wait and I'm just focusing on getting the fuck out of Tennessee
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    Aug 16, 2016 9:59 AM GMT
    Hang on, he told you he just wants to be friends and didn't want a relationship because he'd just split with someone - the fact that you fooled around does not negate what he told you.

    Sorry to sound harsh but I don't think he owes you anything, and you should examine your self-esteem/worth if him not hanging out with you on your birthday because his ex was killed made you feel suicidal.

    My take on what I see from you is you expect too much from people too soon. I think you're probably quite an intense person and you need to dial it back a bit because you seem to either create drama or it is drawn to you for some reason.

    If you can't be a friend to this guy right now then best you don't see him again.

    By the way, looking hot in your new profile pic.
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    Aug 16, 2016 1:31 PM GMT
    you could do this guy a lot of good, just be there for him.
    i mean if you have the time in Tennessee.

    I think the OP knows nothing you can do if your time is up, nothing to do about energy.
    Grief; every body is so different on this matter and no one can say what is 100% right.
    Accept their decision and do what you want.
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    Aug 16, 2016 3:00 PM GMT
    PulseFit said
    By the way, looking hot in your new profile pic.

    Yeah, mucho hot pics. I normally don't do MOTD voting, but I could for him.

    But back to the OP's post -

    I don't know if this has a lot of relevance, but I very often try to understand things in terms of what's actually happened to me in the past. A little simplistic and admittedly not too intellectual or academic, but then perhaps that does best describe me.

    A couple months after I came out late, aged 46 then, I met my first boyfriend. And I totally fell for him. He had everything.

    A little older than me, about 50, and experienced, just what I needed at that point. Handsome, witty, refined & cultured. We went to plays, concerts, ballet together. I saw "Angels in America" onstage for the first time with him alongside me. He'd have German poetry readings at his home some nights, which I still could understand a little from my time living there. Brilliant beyond words, I learned at some point that his IQ was about 190.

    I blush talking about my own level, so let's just say we weren't entirely mismatched. But numbers don't tell the whole story, it also matters in what areas you're strong. I tend to be more hands-on kinetically and spatially practical, while he was more theoretical. Great, a nice complimentary match, kinda like the one I have today, and have tried to find in the past. To snag a fantastic guy like that, and right after I came out, was too good to be true, a gift from Heaven.

    He'd have his evening German poetry & literature readings with friends, and in the day I'd take him for his first motorcycle rides, and outdoor camping in the forests north of Seattle, also a novelty for him. He loved it.

    That didn't last. His ex reappeared on the scene. Slapping a legal claim on the house, for the ex having allegedly contributed to it while they lived together. I thought his ex was long gone and history, but apparently not. A claim on the property that a court ultimately threw out nearly 2 years later.

    Well, my BF collapsed emotionally, shocking me. A doctor put him on anti-depressants that made him a zombie. I mistakenly thought that someone with his high intellect would be immune to those kinda things, just logic his way through them, rise above them, as I try to do.

    Not so. Intellect is no guarantee of emotional strength, as I learned, you can't equate them, nor easily predict emotional reactions. And as I also found out about myself, after my first partner died.

    As for my first BF, he became a total shambles. I realized I lacked the skills to help him. I'd never been in a gay relationship before, I had no idea what to do. Nor could I intervene in the problem with his ex. Trying to maintain a relationship with me was an added stress he couldn't handle. I separated from him on my own, naturally telling him. Broke my heart, but I felt it was the best for him at the time, minimize the issues he had.

    A couple years later my gay "mentor" & I were at a Seattle club, and he said: "There's your ex W****** over there." I didn't recognize him anywhere, so my friend hadda take me over. OMG, I couldn't recognize him! He had grayed and aged 20 years! This once beautiful man was a wreck. My mentor said afterwards: "You were lucky to have dumped him, he's become a mess."

    A comment I didn't appreciate, and made me feel worse, not better. Maybe if I had known how to help him, and kept us together, he wouldn't have reached the deplorable condition he was.

    I was told some new guy had come into his life and living with him, draining his money and keeping him almost captive in the house, making him give up his lucrative career. A year later I was relocating from Seattle, and I wanted to say good-bye to him. I drove up to his house. As I walked up the sidewalk I saw a guy pull a window curtain back and glare at me.

    This same guy finally answered the door, barely opening it a crack. "Whadda yah want?" he snarled.

    "Is W***** here? I understood this is still his house."

    "No! He's not home!" the guy virutally shouted at me.

    I kept talking, directing my voice through the door, hoping my former BF might hear my voice inside. He did! And came to the door himself.

    This other guy sorta tried to block his way, but we met and hugged. We started to chat in the doorway, but I wasn't invited into a house I knew very well, with the other one scowling right behind my ex. I finally suggested we go out onto the sidewalk, on the pretext of him looking at my newest motorcycle. We did, and continued our meeting in private outside. But with this roommate, or whatever he was, glaring at us through a front window the whole time. Apparently the stories I'd heard were true, and then some.

    He was a ruined man, I could see it, totally beaten and being controlled. Taught me an important lesson about emotional stability in people. And disabused me of the misconception I had that higher intellect will override these pitfalls. It doesn't.

    Therefore I can believe that the guy the OP was dating became emotionally derailed over his own ex's death. It's one of the reasons in the years since Seattle I would "vet" guys a little more thoroughly, and prefer one who had a pretty clean slate for some time prior to our getting together. Not have a recent ex lurking in the shadows.
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    Aug 16, 2016 10:20 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 saidHey realjockers, I'm back...and I need you alls guidance. It's just this new layout...I can't adjust to it. Thought if I went away for a bit, it would change back. Anyway...

    So, I had met this guy at the mall 3 months ago. At the time, he was in a relationship. We didn't exchange numbers because of it. Fast forward a month or 2 later, I see him working the mall again. This time he's single. Says his ex was incompatible. We exchange numbers. We hangout. Hit it off, flirt, etc. and we hangout 2 more times. Everything is great.

    HOWEVER....two problems: he says he just wants to be friends because he just got out of a relationship and wants to be single. He's always been in relationships and just wants a good friend. But, he didn't say that last time when we were half naked in my bed and I was rubbing him down with massage oil. Ok. But then, my birthday comes around, 8/12...he wishes me happy wishes, but fails to come see me or do anything with me. Big problem. I was initially confident on my birthday, but grew increasingly depressed as he day went on and I realized not a single person would come to see me on my birthday. All because I moved to the fake false flagging town of Nashville Tennessee, and these gays here are ignorant and pretentious. And the friend I tho see me, make me a shirt for my birthday, etc...never came thru for me.

    Well, I find out the next day when I called him (because he didn't hit me up) to see why he didn't come over...he tells me his ex was hit while walking. I felt horrible for what happened and to see him cry hurt me...but I was annoyed. He told me that they were just talking about getting together again, etc. but yet...he told me something different all this time. It would of ended up being another case of a guy keeping me on the back burner, and then dumping me once they got back together.

    On his Facebook, he's just created this whole shrine for him...I never even seen any pictures of the ex on his page before it happened. I understand he's grieving, I've seen friends die right in front of me, and a person fly like a rag doll when hit by a car. But, its a shame that a tragedy had to take place in order for the truth to surface. So I feel betrayed and kinda disappointed. And I don't wish bad on anyone, but from what my friend told me...their breakup was a breakup. And he told me how the guy was controlling/etc. Well...what energy is that creating if a X is trying to get back with someone whom they separated from, who's to say the X was actually intent on getting back with him? And then, the guy is lying to me for the past couple months saying they broke up, but were planning on getting back together?

    Truth is, I know my emotions had nothing to do with the guy's death. But, at the same time I can't ignore the phrase of, everything happens for a reason...yet people go around hurting and leading people on, and don't think there's a consequence. His "controlling" Ex probably had his mind all fucking twisted, twisted so much that it lead him to neglect me on my birthday to a point I felt I wanted to kill myself. But, I turn to God and pray for strength and peace in my life. People hurting others, hurts more people than just the people being hurt. But I'm not planning to stick around and swoon in on the oppurtunity. The guy is going to be emotionally fucked for longer than I can wait and I'm just focusing on getting the fuck out of Tennessee



    You were suicidal because a guy you're seen THREE times disappointed you? This guy doesn't owe you shit. You don't even know him. If you had any sense you'd know not to get involved with people just out of relationships anyway because they're confused and tend to go back and forth to their ex. Remember when he told you he just wanted to be friends? And you have the nerve to get jealous over him posting a shrine on Facebook. The more you post, the more you reveal what a shallow, cold hearted person you are. The problem is not Nashville. It's not Colorado. It's not California. It's YOU.
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    Aug 17, 2016 12:13 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 saidSo, I had met this guy at the mall 3 months ago. At the time, he was in a relationship. We didn't exchange numbers because of it.

    It's reassuring to know that the men's room at the mall is still a viable place for hookups.
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    Aug 17, 2016 9:13 AM GMT
    Thanks art deco for your very insightful post. I couldn't Agree with the last sentence more. But i addressed that with him. I told him i don't play the rebound game. We also did not hookup. He came over to my place a couple times, but i never made intimate moves on him beyond the night at the movie the first time and giving him a shirtless massage, and cuddling in bed all night. But there was no dick sucking or ass fucking involved. I didn't even want to see his dick because i bet it woulda been nice and i didn't want to become infatuated with someone who didn't seem to know what he wanted from me.

    The rest of you guys:

    Yeah he said he wanted friends, but he laid in my bed after drinking all night at my place. He said friends but he wanted me to give him a shirtless massage. He said friends but if i pulled out his dick that night, he woulda let me suck it. But i wasn't trying to do all that.

    I'm not saying the guy owed me anything. Also....READ...i did not say i was depressed over him not showing up on my birthday, but rather non of the other three guys i know showed up either. One guy, we hooked up earlier this year and stayed in contact for months. He came back to town the week of my birthday and the fucker couldn't even do shit but text me "is your birthday today? happy birthday" on scruff. That's why the fuck i was feeling suicidal. Not because of 1 dick. And lets be real, I was using suicidal as a metaphor. Think Im going to kill myself over these lame ass fLags? Hell no. I had 3 guys pay me over 1,000 the week before my birthday. I ain't tripping over these cheap ass fLags. They can kiss my ass.

    BUT: He owes himself and me the truth. He aired his dirty laundry during his work shift at the mall about him breaking up with the ex because he was controlling and didn't like any of his friends...and later when we met, told me how he also backed into and dented his car. He was overdue because if a boyfriend dented my shit...my car would hit back. ( lol okay that was mean and facetious)

    I get it. This is what gay men want: they don't like the nice stable minded MEN. They like these dysfunctional codependent bullshit relationships with boys. They like the drama, the abuse, the mind fucks...because that's what they were used to growing up. Many gays either have parents who are separated, or they were disowned by their family. So a stable, normal relationship feels scary to them. They fall in love with drama kings and tatted up mother fuckers that'll lock they ass in a box like art deco described.
  • orome

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    Aug 17, 2016 11:51 AM GMT
    I get it. This is what gay men want: they don't like the nice stable minded MEN. They like these dysfunctional codependent bullshit relationships with boys. They like the drama, the abuse, the mind fucks...because that's what they were used to growing up. Many gays either have parents who are separated, or they were disowned by their family. So a stable, normal relationship feels scary to them. They fall in love with drama kings and tatted up mother fuckers that'll lock they ass in a box like art deco described.


    Most of your post seems like you needed to vent a bit so I won't comment on that except to say that, in general, people being truthful would be wonderful. Especially where feelings are involved.

    About the quote, I suppose ATL is notorious for this, but even then, this quote is a bit skewed likely due to emotion. The truth is that people are people and some of them suck. That said, there are people who are very honest and clear about what they want and there are also people looking for intimate, committed relationship.

    Try to keep your balance until you find it or it finds you.
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    Aug 17, 2016 1:14 PM GMT
    orome said
    Most of your post seems like you needed to vent a bit so I won't comment on that except to say that, in general, people being truthful would be wonderful. Especially where feelings are involved.

    About the quote, I suppose ATL is notorious for this, but even then, this quote is a bit skewed likely due to emotion. The truth is that people are people and some of them suck. That said, there are people who are very honest and clear about what they want and there are also people looking for intimate, committed relationship.

    Try to keep your balance until you find it or it finds you.


    True, thats true. And Thankyou. But i can't understand why some these guys on real jock be so quick to stick up for the adversary. It's like some guys here want to be devil's advocate, or maybe they don't believe your word is your bond:

    "He doesn't owe you anything".

    The fuck he does. The guy was at my place in my face, and told me, "how about i make you a shirt for your birthday". I said great, that'll be sweet. He said that the same week of my birthday. Excuse after excuse started rolling in that week, which indirectly said he wasn't going to do it. First he lost his job. Then he was doing a clients hair, then his ex died. Then, i go on his Facebook, and it shows he made a shirt that had his ex's date of birth and date of death...which happened to be my birthday!

    I was like, ain't that a bitch. It's like he just rubbed it in and added a little salt. If his ex meant that much, fine. I don't care. But don't fucking tell me you're going to do something for me and then don't...and then be too much of a jerk to even see me on my birthday, and then put all this lovely dovey bullshit out there like he wasn't just telling me how awful his ex was.

    Just silly foolish gay drama. And he doesn't know that the reason i didn't even know until he told me about anything happened was because i turned his Facebook feed off a couple weeks ago. Why do i need to see or care what he's doing. I don't care if you're not there for me and you live 2 streets over. And i definitely don't want to see his daily shrine about his ex everyday i wake up.
  • orome

    Posts: 30

    Aug 17, 2016 6:18 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 said
    orome said
    Most of your post seems like you needed to vent a bit so I won't comment on that except to say that, in general, people being truthful would be wonderful. Especially where feelings are involved.

    About the quote, I suppose ATL is notorious for this, but even then, this quote is a bit skewed likely due to emotion. The truth is that people are people and some of them suck. That said, there are people who are very honest and clear about what they want and there are also people looking for intimate, committed relationship.

    Try to keep your balance until you find it or it finds you.


    True, thats true. And Thankyou. But i can't understand why some these guys on real jock be so quick to stick up for the adversary. It's like some guys here want to be devil's advocate, or maybe they don't believe your word is your bond:

    "He doesn't owe you anything".

    The fuck he does. The guy was at my place in my face, and told me, "how about i make you a shirt for your birthday". I said great, that'll be sweet. He said that the same week of my birthday. Excuse after excuse started rolling in that week, which indirectly said he wasn't going to do it. First he lost his job. Then he was doing a clients hair, then his ex died. Then, i go on his Facebook, and it shows he made a shirt that had his ex's date of birth and date of death...which happened to be my birthday!

    I was like, ain't that a bitch. It's like he just rubbed it in and added a little salt. If his ex meant that much, fine. I don't care. But don't fucking tell me you're going to do something for me and then don't...and then be too much of a jerk to even see me on my birthday, and then put all this lovely dovey bullshit out there like he wasn't just telling me how awful his ex was.

    Just silly foolish gay drama. And he doesn't know that the reason i didn't even know until he told me about anything happened was because i turned his Facebook feed off a couple weeks ago. Why do i need to see or care what he's doing. I don't care if you're not there for me and you live 2 streets over. And i definitely don't want to see his daily shrine about his ex everyday i wake up.


    I guess there's a lot of layers here.

    One of them starting with word as bond. I tend to go by "it isn't serious until it is serious" and by that I mean that I don't believe a single thing until I see plans and effort.

    Fact is, although he said he'd do whatever, if you don't have a contract, pass that to "oh that's nice..." until otherwise proven.

    It is just better for your peace of mind to not take people seriously until they give you significant reason to do so. Otherwise, you're wasting time and energy which I am sure you are not interested in.

    If anything, things worked out in your favor; you got the true colors before your feelings got involved. Thank God for that.

    Eyeroll that into irrelevance and boogie right on to the next thing.

    Sidebar: this isn't gay drama; there's bullshit on every part of that spectrum. Gay people do not own fuckery in circumstances like this. Trust.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Aug 20, 2016 3:06 PM GMT
    It sounds as though you got invested in someone far ahead of the actual reality of milestones: first kiss, first makeout session, first....well, you get the idea. And somewhere in there, you decided that this was something "real." The problem is, people move too fast based on what they want, combined with what the other person says. (And, to be fair, he said he didn't want to jump into another relationship, which is actually very sound thinking). The fact that his ex still has a hold on him that he's trying to deny, is something you failed to consider, and therein lies all your disappointments.
    I've known guys, much older than you (and therefore mature - allegedly), whom I started dating, only to discover they were giving their (ex) lover another chance. People may want to think they're beyond going back to someone who treated them poorly, but human nature is such that one will repeat many times, a pattern stuck in their mind. Especially the ones of the "my parents made me feel worthless/were always criticizing me/never actually said the words "I love you," and so on. The last one is particularly missing from so many people's lives that they fill in that (unheard) blank with "I know they loved me: they just never said it." Well, that means something more than they just couldnt "say it." People respond to hearing things, and having memories of sounds they've heard and how it made them feel. No words? Then no concrete memory of what that emotion felt like when the words were uttered. No concrete memory = no actual understanding of what "A" sounds like when said when event "B" was happening (i.e., mom tucking you in and saying, "I love you, honey").
    If someone had an abusive boyfriend, never mind what you think, never mind what words he's saying to you: you need to assess the person and the situation. EVERY TIME. If life was less complicated than it was 30 years ago, without an Internet, and guys meeting other guys every 30 seconds, then it would be less fraught with, "what did you feel, and when did you start to feel it?" situations.
    But the guy still does not owe you anything based on something he said. Words are not set in stone, and they should not be wrapped in chains as "promises." The relationship was not developed enough for his words to be held in your heart as promises. I'd suggest slowing down with guys. A "nice convo," a back rub, shirt off? Not enough to mean anything, except as a transient experience. That's all physical with some moments of emotions thrown in. Several months of time spent together, along with conversations about what your family life was like growing up, what dreams you still have in life, those are what make relationships real - unless neither person is conscious enough to realize that these are not "unnecessary conversations."
    Try not to pass "GO" and collect your prize so soon. It's easy enough to focus on the pleasant parts of getting to know someone, without the "assessing" part, which, while less romantic, is more likely to give you a clearer picture of the basis for a relationship. Right now, you're putting up 2 x 4s on a foundation of a house, putting up sheetrock and thinking you've built a house, forgetting you now have to wire everything correctly, make sure the plumbing works, and the electricity delivers it's actual rating. In the "old days" all these things you've talked about (the "rubdown") would be considered "having a real interest" in the person, with the understanding that this is still very preliminary stuff. Even "going steady" took around 3 months, and most of the things I see here are not of that duration. Oh, and text messaging does not count. Not one bit. It takes no energy whatsoever to just type some phrase on a page. Looking into someone's eyes and saying it is the acid test, because Human Nature has not evolved, emotionally speaking, to any great degree in the last 20 years or so. Some parts of it have slowed down, and relationships is one of the primary areas where things go wrong more often, and much faster, because of all the typing people do on screens, and then count that as "Meaningful Conversation." Unfortunately, judging by the thousands of posts I've read on forums, it is very NOT meaningful, because you don't have to see the other person's eyes: they just make some "hopeful" statement that does not pan out later. It's much harder to tell someone you like them and what you see in your future when you have to see their reaction and listen to their response in real time.
    I'm sorry your situation was so confusing. I hope you will be able to look for different cues next time. Unfortunately the ones you've used haven't brought about the results you had anticipated. But you had an inkling. Next time, take that inkling and ask more questions. It will save you a great deal of pain.
  • Eleven

    Posts: 149

    Aug 20, 2016 4:37 PM GMT
    Personally you have every right to be upset because your situation is fucked up on so many levels, only rarely to I find myself in these situations that it leads me to dislike the person associated with it.

    I have this huge complex with birthdays, ive gotten to the point in my life where I dont care about them just because I dont want to get dissapointed. Well to be honest I broke up with my ex my last birthday in feb because he forgot it. I know it sounds self entitled but im not perfect and there are very few things in life that can hurt my feelings and being forgotten on your birthday takes the cake for me.

    I dont think youre a bad person for having valid feelings of animosity, youre obviously very confused and read his signals wrong.

    Personally I dont think you have to tone anything down, if anything amp it up and be the best version of yourself you can be, live and love passionately so that you do attract someone who matches your passion....

    I would ditch the loser and get back to loving yourself, next time dont invest unless they pass the test
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    Aug 23, 2016 5:06 AM GMT
    Thanks guys, for the last 3 replies. And McBrion you really touched on some deep matters. Now I feel I owe you a therapy session fee lol.

    With all that said, yes I did read wrong into the cues. But I also think he was using me as a backup side ho dick distraction. Now, I wish I woulda sucked his dick or let him fuck. Because now I don't know if we'll ever see each other again. He's not even responded or contacted me since my birthday. I know that sounds trashy, but this boy was so fine, and so kind to me, that I was afraid I'd fall in love after we had sex, so I didn't do it. But maybe,I should have just went for it. But then, I know he would have just still ditched out on me once all that happened. And that there, is why I refrained myself from doing anything sexual with him. So my mind may be hurt, and my heart, but not my soul.

    I'm just over it. I'm just mad and angry at everybody I've met in Nashville. These guys out here have all proven to be fraudulent. I've never lived in a place in my life where people have played more games and stabbed more backs than the state of Tennessee. I thought Colorado was bad, this is bad on another level. All these gays come off so nice and friendly, brought to you by their hypocritical churchy roots, but they're all repressed, self-loathing, insecure, immature imbeciles. The first 2 months here, I came with a good attitude and lots of hope. 4 months later, all my hopes were fading fast. All these guys are fucking jerks. The one person I've met here who's been somewhat decent happens to be deaf. Yet he's got more integrity than half of these fuck mother fuckers who ain't about a goddamn thing.

    And again, I don't mean to take away (no pun intended) the fact of someone losing someone close to them. But still. Before that all came to past, this guy wasn't being honest. And like I said, it took this to happen for the truth to come out. And now, now that his ex is dead, he no longer speaks to me because he no longer needs me as a distraction. Fucking dirt bad scum of the earth mother fucker. It all comes together. Out the darkness, comes the light.

    I have a guy here who wants to meet up for a second time, and date...or so he says, but I've just lost all faith. I don't even want to meet anymore guys in Nashville or even think about any other relationship because all the guys I've dated or tried to date here I've had to curse out because they're all full of shit. I just want to focus on leaving. I don't want to date, I want to leave. Leave. Bye bye!