He left me, now he wants to come back

  • Rikku07

    Posts: 8

    Aug 22, 2016 9:10 PM GMT
    I was dating this guy for close to two months and we hit it hard we became "official" fast and spent the night all the time and even went on two weekend trips to beach and all seemed great and fine then one night I looked at my Facebook and he removed all our photos, status of relationship and everything was gone and I had to text him going "What's going on?" and he gave me the whole "It's not you it's me" speech through text. I was surprised and disappointed and about over a month goes by and I am moving on doing fine but I hadn't closed the door completely, not that I messaged him or anything but I did think about it and of course wanted it to return, then the other night I assume he was drunk as he was texting me a bunch saying he made a huge mistake. Along with the fact that he came clean and said he dumped me for this guy from his past and that it didn't work out and he was a fool and etc etc etc and I tell him how can I trust him again? He said he wouldn't and etc etc...the night ends and the next day, him being sober, he doesn't seem as enthusiastic to pick up where we left off but wants to see me and start off as "friends" and build ourselves up, I eventually agree to meet up for brunch and we chat and he still is riding the "friends" and build up from there but he didn't seem really sorry or anything just saying "I'm not going to defend myself" and nothing romantic or sexual happens during our first meet since the break-up ... idk it seems wrong but I am to nice and willing to believe in people and that everyone makes mistakes and second chances can be needed but idk ... I am not convinced he knows what he wants from me and I don't really want to set myself up for him to dump me again just cause some guy looked at him or whatever ... idk....thoughts? Any other details needed?
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    Aug 23, 2016 6:23 PM GMT
    Rikku07 said I am not convinced he knows what he wants from me


    He probably doesn't. Can a relationship redevelop after a break like that? It's possible. I knew a couple that had been together for over 10 years, when one suddenly decided to end it and be with another guy. That didn't last, and they got back together again, and have been together for another 10 years.

    Since your ex now wants to be "friends," and you were only a couple for 2 months, it doesn't seem likely that a committed relationship will develop. And I didn't perceive any passion on his part when he broached getting back together (except maybe when he was drunk?). But it seems you were the one who was more involved in this budding relationship - so there is no harm in giving it a try. Time will tell . Perhaps keep yourself open to other men by dating others, since he is not making any commitments to you. You can see if he quickly redevelops any"romantic or sexual" excitement. It seems that is not what he wants at the moment, and if he does not rekindle any "romantic or sexual" excitement soon , well, I guess you'll know it's over. Unless you want to be his available fuck for whenever he is in the mood.

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 23, 2016 8:18 PM GMT
    Sometimes love develops and sometimes it doesn't. You never really know until you give it a go. Sounds like it just didn't happen this time. Sad but more the norm than not. I'd say let it go. Sounds like neither one of you is heartbroken. You can stay friends if you want but it will only retard your effort to find someone who is more of a keeper. It's really no one's fault.
  • leanandclean

    Posts: 270

    Aug 23, 2016 10:30 PM GMT
    I recommend moving on.
  • Rikku07

    Posts: 8

    Aug 23, 2016 11:12 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for all your advice...yea I really feel like this just isn't meant to be ...just sucks cause I think he is so cute haha ... I'll give it another day or two to see if he manages to say/do anything significant but seems unlikely and yea then truly close that door.