I think RJ is overdue for a race talk: why don't gay whites and gay Latinos include MORE gay Blacks in their group trips/dinners?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2016 7:41 AM GMT
    This is based on mainly things I see across Facebook, but also just my own observances. For example: I went to Provincetown Massachusets for the first time a few weeks ago. It was a nice, quaint little town bustling with action. However, everywhere I looked I mainly only seen White and Latin guys vacationing together. I went to breakfast on Sunday morning, I was the only black person in the room, followed by 1 other older man who was also by himself. People looked at me like I had 3 heads or something. I didn't really care because I wasn't worried about it. But, it was hard to not notice. I seen a group on the street, all white...and 1 black guy in the circle.

    I notice this stuff on Facebook too and it's annoying. I have to filter out some people because if you're on my friends list, but all I ever see is you doing stuff only with other whites...that tells me you're not really my friend because if push came to shove, that same person would probably blow me off or do something insecure like run off if I said I needed to use the bathroom, and I'd be right back.

    I was especially annoyed when this guy on my Facebook asked everyone if they knew of a good Ethiopian restaraunt that he and his friends could go to. I was like, ain't that bitch. Now, this guy is nice and all...to me atleast, but he's done some shady things to me when it came time to hangout and I never seen him hang around anyone remotely Black. In fact, I was told by a friend that he "used to be" very racist.

    So it kinda rubbed me wrong just seeing him post something like that. I mean, maybe he's changed I doubt it, but I would imagine no one in his friend circle he went with was Black...and if I still lived there, I doubt he would even ask me...unless it came off in a way to suggest since I'm Black I must know all about Ethiopian food (which I've never in my life had, and don't understand this newfound fad).

    Anyway, I don't know. I'm sure lots of people will brush it off and say it's nothing. But...I see this all the time. But at the same time, I don't have to wonder why many of the black friends I have who are around my age, they don't really associate with groups of white guys at all. And it usually boils down to something along the lines of; they'll want to hook up but not want to be friends. So most of them don't fuck with them. The ones who do, never end up my friend anyway because they want to be like them: excluding other gay Blacks from their friendship circles. I think it's foolish. Because when their White friends all decide go to Mexico or Germany, they won't be invited.

    Lucky for me, I don't have to wait for nan mother fucker. I take my own trips and observe the trends in today's society. But, it would be nice if for once someone invited me along on a trip with them someplace. I will say, my previous ex boyfriend was White and we traveled a couple of places occasionally, and it was so much fun. I miss having a travel buddy. I got to places faster, and I felt more secure having someone there.
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1160

    Aug 24, 2016 8:01 AM GMT
    You think RJ is overdue for a race talk? You've got to be kidding. It seems that's all we do around here. Just leave it to the socially inept justice warts of this site who use any opportunity they can to talk about BLM, or inappropriately talk of statistics regarding blacks serving longer prison terms for committing the same crimes as whites, blah blah blah....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2016 8:13 AM GMT
    ....how dare you!

    I've got every brother in my town wanting to suck my big white cock and
    YOU want to talk about race? Black, white, coco.....It's all candy time! Wake up foo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2016 8:25 AM GMT
    there's 7 topics about race on page one of all things gay and you say overdue lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2016 9:00 AM GMT
    we need love.......madonna

  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14360

    Aug 24, 2016 12:20 PM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow saidThere can NEVER be open and honest discussion of race on this site or on any other or anywhere else in this country for that matter because as soon as you give an opinion on race relations or the black community (don't kid yourself, it's a black and white, no pun intended, issue) that a black person doesn't like to hear you're labeled a racist and once labeled a racist all discussion shuts down. I don't like walking on egg shells and that's why I do not have close relationships with black people - hypersensitive and yes quite crude and vulgar with their language. I've seen forums where this very OP has gone off on people and his responses are full of F bombs. Don't need it in my life. Don't seek it out. I have had good but superficial working relationships with black coworkers but didn't hang with them after hours or forge friendships beyond the office but then again didn't very much with my white coworkers either (my profession isn't full of social people).

    OP, you're a very negative person or seem so by the tone of the vast majority of your posts. I'm sure this is why you aren't invited anywhere more so than the color of your skin.
    Exactly! The whole problem with many black Americans is their hyper sensitivity and their deliberate use of f bombs and on top of that their violent tempers. That is a major turn off for other people and is probably the reason why black neighborhoods lag very far behind all other neighborhoods in economic development, urban problem solving, and quality of life issues. Other folks avoid these neighborhoods because they don't want to deal with the ongoing issues and the belligerent attitudes that predominant in these locales. Again I am not saying all black Americans, I am referring to a large percentage of them. Horribly sad but trueicon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2016 1:07 PM GMT
    Why Don't Gay Blacks Include MORE Gay Whites And Gay Latinos In Their Group Trips/Dinners?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2016 4:11 PM GMT
    If you're black and obsessed with race you fell for the elitists plan to divide you from the "superiors"
    You will never progress for as long as you believe you're inferior... Blacks have an extreme power but they're not using it thanks to traps like BLM funded by elitist to create a divide. A damn shame for you to even make this thread as if it's an important issue. Friends are friends regardless of color, go out and make them you fool.
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    Aug 24, 2016 4:50 PM GMT
    I think you might be projecting your own personal experience onto the world here...Let's take things into perspective, and respect the people around us...that's what you're asking of other people; let's start with ourselves...
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Aug 24, 2016 7:51 PM GMT
    I think it's because such a low percentage of gay black men are out of the closet. Combine that with the relatively small black population, and then finding a compatible group, the numbers are just not big anywhere but in a few cities. I get out and party in New Orleans 4-5 times/year and if there is any American city open to socially mixing blacks and whites, it's New Orleans. And yet I see few gay black men. Some, but not many.
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    Aug 24, 2016 8:51 PM GMT
    Finally! A race talk thread on RJ.
  • KevinTruong

    Posts: 20

    Aug 24, 2016 8:58 PM GMT
    your all discussions forgot about gay Asian, we are an ethic too
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Aug 25, 2016 1:24 AM GMT
    KevinTruong saidyour all discussions forgot about gay Asian, we are an ethic too

    I didn't mention Asian because my partner of nine years tomorrow) is Asian.
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    Aug 25, 2016 1:28 AM GMT
    KevinTruong saidyour all discussions forgot about gay Asian, we are an ethic too


    You meant to say.

    "All of your discussions forgot to mention gay Asian men. Asians are a minority too." Everybody has an ethnicity.

    Personally, I feel Asians have more stereotypes to fight against in the gay community. We are perceived as submissive and when guys see me naked they ask if I'm 100% Asian, because I have a nice boner--like WTF...

    Outside of the gay community I do feel blacks have it harder...

    As others have said, it's also your perspective and who you surround yourself with. I was adopted, under a year old, into my family. My family happens to be white, but I have friends from every race.

    This was from the beach (August 2016):

    photo image_zps7ic4ondj.jpeg
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Aug 25, 2016 3:17 AM GMT
    one thing a lot of people forget is how few black americans there actually are. The fact that they are segregated to some particular areas they seem to be a large population in those areas, but those are local clusters not representative of the whole. black americans are 14% of the population, which is what 1 in 8 or so. Asians far less, even though their clusters are even more dense and isolated at 4%. or One in 25.

    Now if you add the fact that most people want to speak the same language and are frustrated by having to suffer through even simple filter translation, a lot of black guys that speak with the stereotype grammar get left out. If you add the fact that so many black guys are DL which is truly irritating to an out man, your numbers plummet.

    For instance I can go for weeks on end, and never see a black guy (asians happen to be everywhere here though), since the population is even lower in Canada.
  • Looking9

    Posts: 31

    Aug 25, 2016 3:17 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs 28 thank you for opening the conversation. Very well expressed and accurate. White men will not understand, the way men cannot fully understand child birth. I am older and had success from an early age, therefore I found it easy to work around this issue, if I want company on vacation, I invited a buddy and paid for him. Fact.... I haven't been with a white man in ages, the white men who contact and approach me after chatting for a short time I realize they're only interested in one thing, black dick!

    I don't have a resolution, hope you find a work around.......
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Aug 25, 2016 2:47 PM GMT
    It's clear to all: white Liberals are douchebags.

    FuzzyPecs28 saidThis is based on mainly things I see across Facebook, but also just my own observances. For example: I went to Provincetown Massachusets for the first time a few weeks ago. It was a nice, quaint little town bustling with action. However, everywhere I looked I mainly only seen White and Latin guys vacationing together. I went to breakfast on Sunday morning, I was the only black person in the room, followed by 1 other older man who was also by himself. People looked at me like I had 3 heads or something. I didn't really care because I wasn't worried about it. But, it was hard to not notice. I seen a group on the street, all white...and 1 black guy in the circle.

    I notice this stuff on Facebook too and it's annoying. I have to filter out some people because if you're on my friends list, but all I ever see is you doing stuff only with other whites...that tells me you're not really my friend because if push came to shove, that same person would probably blow me off or do something insecure like run off if I said I needed to use the bathroom, and I'd be right back.

    I was especially annoyed when this guy on my Facebook asked everyone if they knew of a good Ethiopian restaraunt that he and his friends could go to. I was like, ain't that bitch. Now, this guy is nice and all...to me atleast, but he's done some shady things to me when it came time to hangout and I never seen him hang around anyone remotely Black. In fact, I was told by a friend that he "used to be" very racist.

    So it kinda rubbed me wrong just seeing him post something like that. I mean, maybe he's changed I doubt it, but I would imagine no one in his friend circle he went with was Black...and if I still lived there, I doubt he would even ask me...unless it came off in a way to suggest since I'm Black I must know all about Ethiopian food (which I've never in my life had, and don't understand this newfound fad).

    Anyway, I don't know. I'm sure lots of people will brush it off and say it's nothing. But...I see this all the time. But at the same time, I don't have to wonder why many of the black friends I have who are around my age, they don't really associate with groups of white guys at all. And it usually boils down to something along the lines of; they'll want to hook up but not want to be friends. So most of them don't fuck with them. The ones who do, never end up my friend anyway because they want to be like them: excluding other gay Blacks from their friendship circles. I think it's foolish. Because when their White friends all decide go to Mexico or Germany, they won't be invited.

    Lucky for me, I don't have to wait for nan mother fucker. I take my own trips and observe the trends in today's society. But, it would be nice if for once someone invited me along on a trip with them someplace. I will say, my previous ex boyfriend was White and we traveled a couple of places occasionally, and it was so much fun. I miss having a travel buddy. I got to places faster, and I felt more secure having someone there.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Aug 25, 2016 2:48 PM GMT
    Man up, pussyboi.

    AnOriginal said
    KevinTruong saidyour all discussions forgot about gay Asian, we are an ethic too


    You meant to say.

    "All of your discussions forgot to mention gay Asian men. Asians are a minority too." Everybody has an ethnicity.

    Personally, I feel Asians have more stereotypes to fight against in the gay community. We are perceived as submissive and when guys see me naked they ask if I'm 100% Asian, because I have a nice boner--like WTF...

    Outside of the gay community I do feel blacks have it harder...

    As others have said, it's also your perspective and who you surround yourself with. I was adopted, under a year old, into my family. My family happens to be white, but I have friends from every race.

    This was from the beach (August 2016):

    photo image_zps7ic4ondj.jpeg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2016 4:26 PM GMT
    It's just demographics. Don't expect to see more gay black men in a population than statistics would suggest. If 1 out of 6 men are gay and 1 out of 13 men are black don't expect to see a room full of gay black men. The ratio of gay out black men is probably even less than 1-6 average. For example if a TV show has 10 main characters statistically you won't be seeing a black man or a gay black man. So it is ridiculous to say black men are under represented . So called "Latins" that are really the native population of the Americas out number blacks. In Africa the situation would of course be the opposite.
  • Aleco_Graves

    Posts: 708

    Aug 25, 2016 4:42 PM GMT
    Im not racist, i hate all the the gay community in Cape Town equally! Ive never met a more sly, gossipy, vapid, backstabbing group of people.

    As for black gay people, i dont know any.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2016 11:20 PM GMT
    All my gay friends are white or mexican. Including the bf. I have been invited to a lot. I had to really put myself out there and make the effort to build the relationship one on one. Then the invites came in. I will also say that I've noticed that many gay guys have a network made up of guys they have dated or hooked up with. So treat any guy that you go out on a date with as a person, not a booty call. And don't be pushy... people invite you into their world gradually as they feel comfortable.
  • transient

    Posts: 211

    Aug 25, 2016 11:25 PM GMT
    What the fuck.

    Are you serious?

    Can you take a look at he threads you have started and have a think about the imaginary problems you perceive due to your race.

    Get over yourself for fuck sake.

    Internal homophobia?
    Internal racism?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2016 11:31 PM GMT
    I know of only one gay black man in Seattle. The place where there are so many black gay men is on RJ.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Aug 26, 2016 2:21 AM GMT
    woodfordr saidAll my gay friends are white or mexican. Including the bf. I have been invited to a lot. I had to really put myself out there and make the effort to build the relationship one on one. Then the invites came in. I will also say that I've noticed that many gay guys have a network made up of guys they have dated or hooked up with. So treat any guy that you go out on a date with as a person, not a booty call. And don't be pushy... people invite you into their world gradually as they feel comfortable.


    Be careful of white Liberals, though. They will befriend you as a trophy, a token, to prove to themselves and others how open-minded and progressive they are.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Aug 26, 2016 2:22 AM GMT
    woodsmen saidI know of only one gay black man in Seattle. The place where there are so many black gay men is on RJ.


    Is he hot?