Going Back and Fourth- Was He Flirting?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2016 2:17 AM GMT
    I just sent a message to a very good looking guy who came up to me on the street to ask a question good department stores in Chicago and then chatted me up a bit while waiting for the subway (this situation never happens to me ever since people mostly keep to themselves on public transit)

    I find he lives in the city. As the conversation turns to his travels talking I think he drops something casually drops something about attending the Boston pride but he was speaking fast so I wasn't sure and chalked it up to my brain playing tricks on me with wishful thinking. (Was praying he was gay or bi as he was talking to me) We get on the train and continue talking and I find out we're in similar industries. He mentions how he regularly goes to an event to broaden his skills plus "the food is good too". Right before his stop he asks for my name so he can connect with me on LinkedIn.

    Get home and see he sent me an invite to connect. I accept. I'm thinking of writing him a message but scope him out on FB trying to see if he's gay or bi as I was going back and fourth if he was flirting or just trying to expand his Linkedin network for his industry.... I can't really determine buy his FB postings but a lot of his male friends are commenting on how handsome he is. I just sent him a message with my heart beating in my throat practically seeing if he'd like to get coffee and chat about our industry.

    What do you guys think? Flirting or just a guy networking? Maybe both? This has never happened before here and especially in NYC so I'm still like "what was that about?" IDK
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2016 2:37 AM GMT
    Sounds flirty to me...

    Meet up again and see where it goes!
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1034

    Aug 29, 2016 2:57 AM GMT
    I'd be very surprised if he isn't interested in you - and if by some remote chance he isn't, the way he was acting, he deserves to have his actions misinterpreted!
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    Aug 29, 2016 4:10 AM GMT
    Thanks for the input.

    I hope he was.... no reply yet on his end but can't blame a guy for trying. *Crosses fingers*
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Aug 29, 2016 4:21 AM GMT
    Do straight men comment on how handsome their friends are? I have not seen this.
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    Aug 29, 2016 1:29 PM GMT
    buddycat saidDo straight men comment on how handsome their friends are? I have not seen this.

    ^^^good idea;
    if the OP is infatuated by this he should ck out the guy's FB male friends. Are they gay?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 29, 2016 3:58 PM GMT
    Go after him. He clearly didn't approach you initially because he wanted a business contact. And do find him on FB.
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    Aug 30, 2016 2:32 AM GMT
    Destinharbor saidGo after him. He clearly didn't approach you initially because he wanted a business contact. And do find him on FB.


    Already did.

    Though, should I send him a friend request on Facebook (don't really use FB much anymore)? Still hasn't replied to my Linkedin message yet and I know people receive email notifications when they get a new message so I'm a bit worried now he was just networking and isn't sure how to respond (or if he even should). Send a friend request on FB might be a bit overboard. Dating in the digital age has become both easy and very complicated.... icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2016 6:08 PM GMT
    Erobert said
    Destinharbor saidGo after him. He clearly didn't approach you initially because he wanted a business contact. And do find him on FB.


    Already did.

    Though, should I send him a friend request on Facebook (don't really use FB much anymore)? Still hasn't replied to my Linkedin message yet and I know people receive email notifications when they get a new message so I'm a bit worried now he was just networking and isn't sure how to respond (or if he even should). Send a friend request on FB might be a bit overboard. Dating in the digital age has become both easy and very complicated.... icon_neutral.gif


    I'm not much of a FB user - but I would suggest not sending a friend request right away, but rather sending him an email on FB. Like, "you might not have seen my linkedin email, so - -"

    Not surprised at the street connection - Chicago is a lot less formal than NYC. As an ex-Chicagoan, I'm curious which subway stop you met him at. Morning commute time? Also, you might just want to continue to go at the same time (or a little earlier) and wait around to see if you see him again. And then accidentally run into him again.

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 30, 2016 6:42 PM GMT
    Erobert said
    Destinharbor saidGo after him. He clearly didn't approach you initially because he wanted a business contact. And do find him on FB.


    Already did.

    Though, should I send him a friend request on Facebook (don't really use FB much anymore)? Still hasn't replied to my Linkedin message yet and I know people receive email notifications when they get a new message so I'm a bit worried now he was just networking and isn't sure how to respond (or if he even should). Send a friend request on FB might be a bit overboard. Dating in the digital age has become both easy and very complicated.... icon_neutral.gif


    I'd try. What have you got to lose? And don't pretend it is for business purposes. Just say you really enjoyed meeting and would like to get together. When my partner and I hooked up initially, he immediately let me know that he liked me a lot and hoped we could make something serious out of the encounter. Startled me a bit but then I thought about it and realized, ya, I like you a lot, too. This will be fun. This past Thursday, August 25, was our ninth anniversary of that meet. We're still very much in love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2016 6:44 PM GMT
    Go for it! Sounds like he's interested. You'll regret it if you don't icon_smile.gif
    Worst case it'll be a funny story and you guys can end up as friends anyways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2016 3:39 AM GMT
    Alright, I'll go for it on FB and we'll see what happens.

    Good suggestion with the FB message HikerSkier instead of going right for a friend request, feel a bit like I'm bothering him though since he hasn't asnwered that message on Linkedin.... True Chicagoan's are somewhat more apt to chat with strangers than NYer's but this has never happened before; I have seen it a few times though and I've lived here nearly all my life. It's the kind of stuff that happens in the moves and I go "that would never happen in real life."

    It was the Red line Sunday afternoon btw; it suddenly switch to an express train since it was behind schedule and everyone got off including me to wait for the next train and that's when he came up to me with his question (but in this era of smartphones he could have easily found it out instead of asking a random stranger...)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2016 9:59 PM GMT
    Erobert saidTrue Chicagoan's are somewhat more apt to chat with strangers than NYer's but this has never happened before;

    Cause you look hot


    It was the Red line Sunday afternoon


    Too bad it was a Sunday - it was not his work commute. Good luck.
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    Sep 03, 2016 3:17 AM GMT
    Thanks, glad one guy thinks so.

    Well he replied to my follow up message on FB (thanks RJer's for prompting me to send on to him) where I asked him about an event he mentioned. Just replied "Sure man. Here's the link to it: LINK" and gave me a friend request which I accepted. No reply on LinkedIn still to my more forward "Nice chatting today. Maybe we can meetup for coffee sometime and chat more about (subject we were talking about)" message. Hmm..... I'll go to that event just to check it out- then he'll really think I'm stalking him and will make sure never to approach a guy in the subway again if he wasn't flirting icon_confused.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2016 6:01 PM GMT
    Erobert saidThanks, glad one guy thinks so.

    Well he replied to my follow up message on FB (thanks RJer's for prompting me to send on to him) where I asked him about an event he mentioned. Just replied "Sure man. Here's the link to it: LINK" and gave me a friend request which I accepted. No reply on LinkedIn still to my more forward "Nice chatting today. Maybe we can meetup for coffee sometime and chat more about (subject we were talking about)" message. Hmm..... I'll go to that event just to check it out- then he'll really think I'm stalking him and will make sure never to approach a guy in the subway again if he wasn't flirting icon_confused.gificon_lol.gif


    Try logging on to FB once a day, just to see what he is posting. If he is a regular poster on FB you will learn more about him.