Replied on Craiglist, now we're meeting

  • Kraken

    Posts: 13

    Aug 31, 2016 2:23 PM GMT
    Hello all. I was randomly perusing the personal ads on Craigslist a few days ago and actually found one that wasn't just advertising for a hook up. The person wanted to have a relationship, but also to keep is discrete and between us. He's not out, which is fine with me because I guess I'm not either. I don't know if this is his first time looking for a relationshiop with another man, but it is mine, and maybe having something without worrying about labels or reactions for a little while until we get to know each other might not be such a bad thing. But I've never responded to a craiglist ad before, and now after emailing back and forth for a few days we've scheduled a time to meet. I'm surprised that I'm actually excited to meet this person, and I hope he's as genuine as he seems when we email. I'm not sure how to move forward though. I'm smart enough at this point to be myself, but how do I interact and show that I'm interested? I haven't been with a man yet, or even dated one, and I don't really know what to do. Any advice would be helpfull, thank you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2016 2:52 PM GMT
    Probably should meet in a public place that is gay friendly, like at a Starbucks.
  • Kraken

    Posts: 13

    Aug 31, 2016 2:56 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidProbably should meet in a public place that is gay friendly, like at a Starbucks.

    Yeah, we're meeting at a place similar to that. Its a small university town. its pretty much all friendly.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 31, 2016 3:35 PM GMT
    He knows you're interested or you and he wouldn't have been exchanging emails. Being nervous is natural and if he is who and what he says he is, he will be, too. So don't worry about how to show it. Just find some common topics and talk. Things will sort themselves out. No one is interviewing you nor should you be interviewing him. Just get to know him. People can be quite different in person and chemistry will come into play so don't put pressure on yourself to determine anything other than how to have a nice chat over coffee. One mistake some people make when nervous is to talk too much about themselves. Natural, but try to keep the dialogue 50/50. Remember, it isn't a job interview. You don't have to impress him.

  • Sep 01, 2016 5:39 AM GMT
    What is this craigslist? I thought it's to buy used bikes and furniture
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    Sep 01, 2016 6:16 AM GMT
    Good luck with your date!

    No offense, but I feel the need to leave this here:

    dis·crete
    dəˈskrēt/
    adjective
    individually separate and distinct.

    discreet
    adjective
    careful, circumspect, cautious, wary, guarded; tactful, diplomatic, prudent, strategic, delicate, sensitive, inconspicuous, subtle, low-key, understated, subdued.
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    Sep 01, 2016 10:19 PM GMT
    trixareforkids saidWhat is this craigslist? I thought it's to buy used bikes and furniture


    You're kidding, right?

    Just in case you're not - I don't know what they have in LA, but the SF site has "Personals," under which there is a "Men seeking Men" category.
  • Kraken

    Posts: 13

    Sep 02, 2016 2:51 AM GMT
    Radd saidGood luck with your date!

    No offense, but I feel the need to leave this here:

    dis·crete
    dəˈskrēt/
    adjective
    individually separate and distinct.

    discreet
    adjective
    careful, circumspect, cautious, wary, guarded; tactful, diplomatic, prudent, strategic, delicate, sensitive, inconspicuous, subtle, low-key, understated, subdued.

    Not offended. I appreciate the distinction. And it was perfect, even got a second date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2016 2:55 AM GMT
    Two of the best dates I've ever met have been from Craigslist. I'm still friends with one guy from there who I met 8 years ago. How you meet is less important than what you do when you meet.

  • Sep 02, 2016 4:48 AM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    trixareforkids saidWhat is this craigslist? I thought it's to buy used bikes and furniture


    You're kidding, right?

    Just in case you're not - I don't know what they have in LA, but the SF site has "Personals," under which there is a "Men seeking Men" category.


    I'm kidding. Won't be caught dead on a sad creepy place like Craigslist tho
  • Kraken

    Posts: 13

    Sep 02, 2016 5:19 AM GMT
    trixareforkids said
    HikerSkier said
    trixareforkids saidWhat is this craigslist? I thought it's to buy used bikes and furniture


    You're kidding, right?

    Just in case you're not - I don't know what they have in LA, but the SF site has "Personals," under which there is a "Men seeking Men" category.


    I'm kidding. Won't be caught dead on a sad creepy place like Craigslist tho

    I know right? His was the only post that wasn't just a hook up. Probably won't do it again
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2016 3:29 PM GMT
    I've met a number of respectable gay men on CL and some of them have become very good friends. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2016 3:33 PM GMT
    selling some car parts is one thing but to put your self out there on Craigslist is another. It is a big hit or miss if you find a good match on Craigslist.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2016 9:06 PM GMT
    Just take it slow and use common sense, meet at a public place, you don't know if he's Psycho or what lol.
    I tried Craigslist on and off, My 2nd serious boyfriend, he replied my ad on CL. We dated and together for 3 years. That was great.
    Since him, I had a couple of dates here and there but no one serious for me though. The last guy I hung out from CL, he was a
    university professor, closeted divorcee with 2 kids. Urgg, after like 3 dates, I pulled the plug because it was just too much drama. icon_evil.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Oct 15, 2016 2:11 AM GMT
    I hope you don't end up being someone's tamale meat served on some beach boardwalk......
  • jlars12

    Posts: 82

    Oct 15, 2016 3:14 AM GMT
    Isn't craigslist for creepy old men who can't use smartphones? lol
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Oct 15, 2016 3:31 AM GMT
    jlars12 saidIsn't craigslist for creepy old men who can't use smartphones? lol

    Basically....