Kind of a mini rant?

  • BambiBoy98

    Posts: 52

    Aug 31, 2016 4:15 PM GMT
    So I'll keep things short. In my time putting myself out into the dating pool I've encountered guy after guy that are just looking to hookup. Not that I have anything against that. It's just I'm more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned. Like I would prefer to go on a few dates with a guy before ever thinking of having sex with him. Just why does it seem most gay/bi guys just want sex?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 31, 2016 4:35 PM GMT
    Because sex feels good? I understand you're attitude and it is totally valid, but in my experience, it works better if you set a date with a guy that you know something about, through profile and conversation, or introduction, or some other way, someone you already like before actually meeting, meet, have sex, laugh, spend time together, set up a second date. You're now friends with someone you're attracted to, have had a great time with, and now have a common interest. I'm not talking about a grindr sex date, but someone who's bothered to describe himself in a profile that interests you. And he's sounded interested in you for more than sex. If you think about it, you know more after reading a profile than you ever would meeting at a bar or at a bike rally or wherever. That's how I met my guy. We celebrated nine years together last Thursday. Started with a profile, lots of messaging, talking, then a sex date. There's no evil in sex. And good relationships start with heat.
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    Aug 31, 2016 5:23 PM GMT
    Orrrrr look for people who specifically state that they aren't into hookups. That's an important factor to me, I look for it, and I see it -- pretty commonly, believe it or not. If your current dating pools aren't working, wade into a different one.
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    Aug 31, 2016 6:35 PM GMT
    Because it feels good, it's really easy to get, and most people are shallow and lazy. I've never seen a study or survey on the point, but my sense is that most (gay or straight) men who aspire to great things in life don't act like sluts. Yes they may be a fling now and then, but they don't engage in random, anonymous sex over long periods of time. As an analogy you might ask yourself why 70% of Americans don't have college degrees.
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    Aug 31, 2016 10:09 PM GMT
    BambiBoy98 said
    Just why does it seem most gay/bi guys just want sex?

    Because that't what many gay guys, especially in your age range, do want.

    But I played that game myself. Exploited the opportunities, had a great time (safely, of course).

    But my longer term goal was to find a "keeper". Who'd hopefully view me the same way.

    And of course I did. But in the meantime I had a helluva good time. The more guys you meet, and maybe bed, the better your choices are. At least that's how I see it.

    No man is a waste of your time, if you had a good time. And even the bad times were likely instructive to you, stuff to avoid the next time. Adding to your learning base and how to improve your man-hunting skills.

    It's all good, if you know how to make it that way. icon_biggrin.gif
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Aug 31, 2016 10:11 PM GMT
    BambiBoy98 saidSo I'll keep things short. In my time putting myself out into the dating pool I've encountered guy after guy that are just looking to hookup. Not that I have anything against that. It's just I'm more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned.


    You appear to be playing both sides of the fence. If you are "more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned", then you DO "have [some]thing against" casual hooking up. If you do not, you are being "gay wishy-washy". Who then can take your comments seriously?
  • BambiBoy98

    Posts: 52

    Aug 31, 2016 10:33 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    BambiBoy98 saidSo I'll keep things short. In my time putting myself out into the dating pool I've encountered guy after guy that are just looking to hookup. Not that I have anything against that. It's just I'm more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned.


    You appear to be playing both sides of the fence. If you are "more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned", then you DO "have [some]thing against" casual hooking up. If you do not, you are being "gay wishy-washy". Who then can take your comments seriously?


    What I mean is that hookups aren't my thing. I don't view people that hookup differently than people that don't. After all they're people too and have the right to do what they want. Sorry if I wasn't clear in explaining that.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Aug 31, 2016 10:41 PM GMT
    BambiBoy98 said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    BambiBoy98 saidSo I'll keep things short. In my time putting myself out into the dating pool I've encountered guy after guy that are just looking to hookup. Not that I have anything against that. It's just I'm more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned.


    You appear to be playing both sides of the fence. If you are "more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned", then you DO "have [some]thing against" casual hooking up. If you do not, you are being "gay wishy-washy". Who then can take your comments seriously?


    What I mean is that hookups aren't my thing. I don't view people that hookup differently than people that don't. After all they're people too and have the right to do what they want. Sorry if I wasn't clear in explaining that.


    Am glad that you took a moment to clarify. Others may look at your comment and think--oh, he says he is more a monogamous sort, but he ALSO doesn't have anything against hooking up. So, I feel free to proposition him.

    You've now "posted a guard" at that door. icon_smile.gif
  • BambiBoy98

    Posts: 52

    Aug 31, 2016 10:42 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    BambiBoy98 said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    BambiBoy98 saidSo I'll keep things short. In my time putting myself out into the dating pool I've encountered guy after guy that are just looking to hookup. Not that I have anything against that. It's just I'm more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned.


    You appear to be playing both sides of the fence. If you are "more so a monogamous person and kind of old fashioned", then you DO "have [some]thing against" casual hooking up. If you do not, you are being "gay wishy-washy". Who then can take your comments seriously?


    What I mean is that hookups aren't my thing. I don't view people that hookup differently than people that don't. After all they're people too and have the right to do what they want. Sorry if I wasn't clear in explaining that.


    Am glad that you took a moment to clarify. Others may look at your comment and think--oh, he says he is more a monogamous sort, but he ALSO doesn't have anything against hooking up. So, I feel free to proposition him.

    You've now "posted a guard" at that door. icon_smile.gif


    Lol. Thanks for understanding!icon_biggrin.gif