Gay Insults Within Gay Groups

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    Sep 01, 2016 2:54 AM GMT
    Ok... the Social Justice side of me gets a little obnoxious sometimes so let me crowdsource this one.

    I've noticed "queen" used as an insult in here a few times. I don't get it. Like... let's take a word used insultingly by mainstream population toward all homosexual males and apply it to one another in a derogatory way. What? I know some guys embrace the term, and words are just words, but the context I'm seeing definitely isn't positive (nor is it "taking back" the term). Is it any different than calling each other "faggot", but maybe just a little more tame? Seems like it's just reinforcing the idea that being *too* gay is worthy of ridicule. I wouldn't say I'm being overly sensitive since it doesn't apply to me either way, but it just struck me as odd since it kindof divides an already marginalized population and reinforces a hierarchy of "good gays" and "bad gays"... which I would almost expect from *any other* type of group.

    The classics still work. Give me "asshole" or "douchebag" any day. If it ain't broke...
    Aaaand discuss.
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1122

    Sep 01, 2016 6:30 AM GMT
    I don't use the term queen to insult another gay man. It's not that I make it a point not to, it's just that I don't think it's all that big of an insult to start with. If I'm angry with someone I usually referred to them as cunt or an asshole or a piece of shit.

    You'll typically find that the (much) older gay crowd uses this term as an insult or in a belittling sense. I don't think I've ever heard someone in his thirties or twenties call a gay man a queen.
  • Eleven

    Posts: 150

    Sep 01, 2016 6:58 AM GMT


    On the spectrum of insults I would say faggot to be most hurtful and queen to be least hurtful.

    I just call them how I see em and if an insult lands and they get offended it means their ego has been disturbed and is working overtime to deal with the truth...

    The onlu time queen would hurt someone is when they are being over dramatic and someone calls them out on it "shes being such a queen" they know they are being a drama queen and are not getting the sympathy they desire, instead they get an insult that calls them out on their bull and thats why they are hurt....


    Same goes with faggot, it doesnt affect you that much if youre just a nice gay guy, but if youre a nasty fem gay who is hurtful and likes to project that hurt on others or if youre a masculine who puts down fem gays to look more appealing to straight folk, I can imagine dropping a well timed "FAGGOT" bomb will put them in their place.....
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Sep 01, 2016 1:33 PM GMT
    Why insult anyone other than pointing out the truth? TRUTH is more more powerful - and more accurate - than having to insult others. Disagreeing with someone is one thing, but there is far too much insulting happening in the world. And insults go along with ego, anger and hatred, so encouraging that practice makes the individual more ego-driven, and prone to anger, and if it goes all the way, inclined to grow into hate. I suppose people have forgotten Hitler already? Lets do without needing to insult each other: it doesn't bring anyone closer to a Higher State of Consciousness, and only demeans the person speaking it.
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 274

    Sep 01, 2016 2:01 PM GMT
    I don't think the word "queen" as an insult is really describing your sexuality. It's more aimed at your attitude, like if you overreact to something petty and start acting vain and haughty and queen-like, then you're going to be called a queen. That's how I see the word being used in the gay community, any way. It's not about your sexuality or who you're attracted to, it's about how self-important and huffy you're behaving, and reminding you that you need to calm down and stop being dramatic. If a gay man is more laid back and reserved and not throwing a tantrum over something silly, then calling him a queen just because he likes men just seems dumb and out of place.

    Faggot is far more offensive, because it is directly aimed at your sexuality. If someone shouts faggot or fag at me, it feels intrusive, like why is that person calling me a name based on the fact that i like men? I don't go around telling everyone about my sex life or commenting on theirs, so why bring it up with an insult? A bit like using the C word towards a woman, when she's not exposing herself in anyway or invading anyone else's privacy. Why refer to her modesty in a vulgar manner?

    But I don't often hear gay men calling each other faggot. I have heard gay men referring to themselves as faggots, particularly when they describe their coming out experience, like "I told myself "you're not attracted to women. you like men. You're a faggot."" I think that's because insulting words were used against them for so long, making it difficult for them to come out, then finally they stopped letting the insults dictate their feelings and embraced their sexuality.

    Sticks and stones and all that. we shouldn't be fearing each other.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 01, 2016 3:08 PM GMT
    Nice chap has it right. The term is applied to a guy who is acting like he thinks he's superior. And it is not so much derogatory as descriptive.
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    Sep 01, 2016 8:29 PM GMT
    This thread is so gay
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    Sep 01, 2016 8:31 PM GMT
    tumblr_lq78bszc2h1qbewogo1_400.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2016 8:37 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidtumblr_lq78bszc2h1qbewogo1_400.gif
    Not nearly as fabulous as my dick
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2016 10:07 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidNice chap has it right. The term is applied to a guy who is acting like he thinks he's superior. And it is not so much derogatory as descriptive.


    Agreed that NiceChap is right. I don't think it is at all degrogatory - and not describing someone who thinks he is superior. At least not by those of us over 40. It is descriptive - but more of attitude, dress, and demeanor. The character Albin in the movie "La Cage aux Foles," was an example of a classic "queen."
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    Sep 01, 2016 10:11 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Lumpyoatmeal saidtumblr_lq78bszc2h1qbewogo1_400.gif
    Not nearly as fabulous as my dick


    Horny? I don't remember you talking about your dick before.
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    Sep 01, 2016 11:00 PM GMT
    Paul is injured so he has not been able to get together with his harem!
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1132

    Sep 02, 2016 12:11 AM GMT
    U_K_Y saidOk... the Social Justice side of me gets a little obnoxious sometimes so let me crowdsource this one.

    I've noticed "queen" used as an insult in here a few times. I don't get it. Like... let's take a word used insultingly by mainstream population toward all homosexual males and apply it to one another in a derogatory way. What? I know some guys embrace the term, and words are just words, but the context I'm seeing definitely isn't positive (nor is it "taking back" the term). Is it any different than calling each other "faggot", but maybe just a little more tame? Seems like it's just reinforcing the idea that being *too* gay is worthy of ridicule. I wouldn't say I'm being overly sensitive since it doesn't apply to me either way, but it just struck me as odd since it kindof divides an already marginalized population and reinforces a hierarchy of "good gays" and "bad gays"... which I would almost expect from *any other* type of group.

    The classics still work. Give me "asshole" or "douchebag" any day. If it ain't broke...
    Aaaand discuss.


    Perhaps the word "prissiness" is more apt? Gay men, like sorority girls, are prissy, have horrible personalities and are highly insecure. They are both likewise highly promiscuous and are rather sanctimonious as it comes to their promiscuity.
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    Sep 06, 2016 10:51 AM GMT
    Usually the word doesn't offend me but the attitude surrounding it
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    Sep 06, 2016 12:28 PM GMT
    nice_chap said
    I don't think the word "queen" as an insult is really describing your sexuality. It's more aimed at your attitude, like if you overreact to something petty and start acting vain and haughty and queen-like, then you're going to be called a queen. That's how I see the word being used in the gay community, any way. It's not about your sexuality or who you're attracted to, it's about how self-important and huffy you're behaving, and reminding you that you need to calm down and stop being dramatic. If a gay man is more laid back and reserved and not throwing a tantrum over something silly, then calling him a queen just because he likes men just seems dumb and out of place.

    A good definition & explanation. Our local community uses the word the same benign way, to my observation.
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    Sep 10, 2016 1:49 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    nice_chap said
    I don't think the word "queen" as an insult is really describing your sexuality. It's more aimed at your attitude, like if you overreact to something petty and start acting vain and haughty and queen-like, then you're going to be called a queen. That's how I see the word being used in the gay community, any way. It's not about your sexuality or who you're attracted to, it's about how self-important and huffy you're behaving, and reminding you that you need to calm down and stop being dramatic. If a gay man is more laid back and reserved and not throwing a tantrum over something silly, then calling him a queen just because he likes men just seems dumb and out of place.

    A good definition & explanation. Our local community uses the word the same benign way, to my observation.


    Cough, cough, cough.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Sep 10, 2016 2:02 AM GMT
    Queen by definition is an obviously gay man. The one using it as an insult may also be considered a queen if they are obvious to someone. Perhaps they are hurling it as an insult trying to compensate for being a queen themselves or perhaps they are just trying to appear more butch, another gay relative term.