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Well i met this guy tonite ( it was first date with this guy)
I met him online and I figured that he smokes!

and I dont like smoking ! so I'm thinkin about to tell him that to stop smoking. or at least tell him that please don't smoke at least when you are with me.

but idk if it's rude or not. cuz he is not really my boy friend yet and we just met one time. so well idk lol

if you have experiences just tell meee

(Oh well i think smoking is really bad. I'l never smoke.:/)

DISCLAIMER!!! The following post WILL be offensive to some people. Stop reading NOW. If you don't I am NOT responsible to any offense, insult, or whatnot. Do not flame me.


I dispise smoking. Not smokers, just the act. I think anyone has the right to ask their friends to stop smoking. I would, cause if any of my friends (you included, reader) are doing something to hurt themself I would try to help them, or get them help, or at least give them advise on how to fix the problem.

Smoking is a deliberate act of hurting yourself AND others. If I were to go down the street with a knife putting small cuts on myself and then lashing out and nicking people as I pass, would that be horrible and illegal? HECK YES!!!

When you choose to smoke you are doing the EXACT SAME THING. Deliberatly hurting yourself and everyone around you. My mother smoked all through my early childhood. When I was in 7th grade, I asked her to stop. I was so happy when she put down her cigerette and never smoked again. (I never saw her do it anyway) Shortly the house smelled better, and she didnt smell of it anymore. I however went through withdrawls because I had been addicted to her smoking. Didnt do me any good in 7th grade that's for sure.

Smoking is not only harmfull to yourself, it is deliberatly hurting others... and many smokers know it and don't care. I get yelled at in my hotel I work at cause we don't have smoking rooms. The people say we're descriminating. Yes. We are. I would discriminate against anyone who knowingly hurt others and didnt care. There is NO denying what I have said. We all know the effects dangers, and risks of smoking, and that 2nd hand smoke is just as deadly, if not more so, then direct. You know it. I know it. There is no denying it. This is a black and white issue here. There is no grey to smoking.

If you are a smoker, I respectfully ask you for your sake, and for thoes you love to try to kick the addiction. It's not a habbit... it's an addicton. You are too beautiful to do this to yourself, and to thoes you love.

My boyfriend of over three years admitted that he was a smoker on our first date.

I nagged him for one year and he didn't stop.

I stopped nagging him for the second year, and he did stop

He was the nicest boyfriend in the whole world for that month, great to his mother, great to his sister, AWESOME to me, and then he had a mental breakdown.

He started smoking again.

My advice to you if you do not like smokers - don't go past the first date. You can't and shouldn't try to change someone, but by god you deserve someone who doesn't stink. I sure as hell do!

When, if you like him... and want a second date, I would keep your thoughts to yourself. Unless he is smking around you then say something like "cough cough* Sorry I'm an asthmatic"

If you tell him smoking is bad and he should stop... you may possibly lose him. And he probably alreayd knows it is noit good for him.

I don't think I could date a smoker... I see it analogous to being overweight and "content with that weight," excessive drinking, drugs, and/or promiscous unsafe sex.

I want a lifetime partner. I do not what to be caring for my sick partner when he is only 40 years old. I want to life a long and happy life with him.

However, if I would def try dating a guy who was working on bettering himself--trying to quit smoking in your case.

Just realize that YOU cannot change him. Only he can. And understand how complex and serious addiction is... all humans are prone to it. So try not to seem like you are lecturing him.

Dump him and feel good.

Smocking may not be good for you, but then nor is a lot of foods we eat, or a lot of Cities we live in.

Sex can also be deadly, and bad for your health too. We all die of something, all of us. It's all about quantity, or qulity. But then some-one who does all the right this, doesn't protect then from being hit buy a bus.

If I wanted to smock. No-one would stop me.

I had a Christain friend ask me to not have homosexual sex, as it was not good for my health, and they cared for me. There's not much difference.

But you can ask.

you LIE Brian, LIAR!!!!!!

My personal experience is that he has to want to quit and and he has to make the effort to quit.

The last guy I dated smoked. I said in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't get into a committed relationship with someone who is smoking. (That wasn't the only caveat, but they were all reasonable and doable.) Needless to say, he did everything from bending the truth to outright lying. He seemed to believe that I'd eventually 'get over it.'

My recommendation is simple: If you don't want to date a smoker, then tell him that you'll be glad to go out with him after he's quit for at least a month. Otherwise move on or get used to the smell and keep your mouth shut.

It is probably best not to go out with him. You can't ask anyone to change. They have to want to change themselves.

You just met the guy

This isn't like he means anything to you or that he's gonna listen to you at all
better spend the time and energy for a better use

Hi junknemesis,

I'm going to argue with you. Smoking is bad for you. No debate there. The knife analogy is too extreme. If smoking was really that toxic, few of my generation would be alive today as most of us were raised in smoking households, as well as our parents. The boomer generations are huge still. If it was that lethal it would be about as legal in this country as DDT. I'm now seeing claims of third hand smoke on TV, which means the smell of the second hand smoke on someone's clothes is now lethal. Just like the fabled magic bullet for all ills, people tend to look for a magic scapegoat for all ills too. Let's face it, just about all combustion fumes are bad for you.

What happens when you go to a bar where people are smoking? You come home, you smell bad, you have to shower and do laundry because of the stench. Now, let's put one single car on idle in that bar. No one goes home. Everyone's dead in about a hour or so unless fresh air is pumped in.

Like Pattison referred to, there's a lot of bad stuff out there. Crap food is one. Polluted drinking-water another. Like Bisphenols in plastic water bottles, used as the white lining in cans of soup etc.


KoreanBrian, you should tell the guy you don't smoke and that the smoke bothers your breathing. Be sweet about it. Begin any relationship, friendship or otherwise with some honesty and go from there.

-Doug of meninlove

meninlove said
Like Pattison referred to, there's a lot of bad stuff out there. Crap food is one. Polluted drinking-water another. Like Bisphenols in plastic water bottles, used as the white lining in cans of soup etc.

Difference is though, you can choose to eat the crap food or drink the polluted water or consume food from plastic containers or not. But someone blowing smoke in your face? Tell him to take it outside.

I concur. Now apply that to car and diesel exhaust. I've been told that though they're far more lethal, they're a necessary evil. Smoking is bad for you - we have strict laws about where you can smoke and I'm all for that.

whoa man, careful not to fall from that high horse. if you just met the guy it's none of your business whether he smokes or not. If you dont like it, dont date him. It's simple.

I smoke; but i don't judge. Don't like it leave me alone.

I remember one guy tried to tell me to stop smoking on the first date and i couldn't help but laugh in his face; safe to say we didn't get far.

I plan to stop when i'm 20 because i've always said that since i was 10 but i hope to god it doesn't make me think im better than other people.

LeeBee saidI remember one guy tried to tell me to stop smoking on the first date and i couldn't help but laugh in his face;

Did you blow smoke in his face? Lots of smokers do.

Nah, i was too busy crying with laughter. I really did get a reet bad case of the giggles

Ah, but i did blow smoke in my managers face when he started to talk to me about work during my break; but thats allowed

Don't worry about it Lee, lots of smokers are bad mannered

LeeBee and Mike, I want to share this story with you. Off-topic, but hey, it happens.
A friend of mine had a job interview at a large call center. During the interview she was presented with fifty million rules, regulations, sheets of monitoring stats on employees etc. She was also shown the crying room, which was of all things a glass chamber in the middle of the office where you could go to freak out when it all got too much for you.

That last did it for her. In the target portion of the interview they peppered her with questions about her personal life. She decided she didn't want the job but thought they should be the ones to pull the plug, so when they asked how she dealt with stress she said,

"I smoke cigarettes." ...and that was the end of that.


-Doug

MikePhilPerez saidDon't worry about it Lee, lots of smokers are bad mannered

Thanks for that; i'll think about thinking about thinking about it when i know you.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE I SMOKE BUT I DON'T JUDGE.

First of all you knew that he smoked to begin with. This bigotry of smokers just kills. I'm not a smoker never have smoked and never will smoke. I grew up around smokers. You can to tell this guy to stop smoking at the very least you can say is not to smoke around you and to smoke out side when he comes to visit you at your place. If you visit him at his place it would be rude to tell him to go out side. You knew he smoked. It is what it is.

LeeBee said

MikePhilPerez saidDon't worry about it Lee, lots of smokers are bad mannered

Thanks for that; i'll think about thinking about thinking about it when i know you.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE I SMOKE BUT I DON'T JUDGE.

It was a joke Lee.

I know so many smokers that don't give a shit about people around them. From smoking in there face to leaving buts everywhere. I was just drawing you out to see if you had a view on it. I'm not saying you are like that.

If I were single, I wouldn't date a smoker.

My ex was a smoker and I had no idea when we met first met. He did not smell like smoke, when we kissed he did not taste like an ash tray.

I had not idea until after our third date and he said I'm going to go out side and have a cig do you mind and sure go right ahead. I was at his place.

He NEVER smoked in doors nor could anyone else.

Just like there are sloppy drunks, there are also sloppy smokers! Like the ones you mentioned.

To say that someone is un-datable because they smoke without even knowing their smoking habits.

Is like someone saying that they won't date a person because they are a social drinker.

Just like there are light drinkers there are also light smokers.

I'm just saying.

well somebody said dont meet him.
HOWEVER, i mean if he doesn't stop, it will be kinda disappoint but only thing i dont like is smoking not the person. so well.. if he doesn't stop, i'm just fine with it. (anyway lots of my friends smoke)
I just wish he doesnt smell like a tobacco when we date

and Matty... Um.. I'm not a liar!
I did try twice in my life time and I didn't like it ! lol (I think you saw me tho)
it's never gonna happen AGAIN! lol

and zim... well yeah right.. I'll dump him and we should finish our homemade PRON. right? lol

anyway thanks for the opiniansss

MikePhilPerez said

LeeBee said

MikePhilPerez saidDon't worry about it Lee, lots of smokers are bad mannered

Thanks for that; i'll think about thinking about thinking about it when i know you.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE I SMOKE BUT I DON'T JUDGE.

It was a joke Lee.

I know so many smokers that don't give a shit about people around them. From smoking in there face to leaving buts everywhere. I was just drawing you out to see if you had a view on it. I'm not saying you are like that.

Hmmm, ok im sorry. I hate tone-dead conversations

I do give shit because i always go outside and i have this horrible habit of putting the butts in the top of the packet because i can't find a bin. I thought your were just labelling a group sorry.

KoreanBrian, if you don't know if the guy smokes or not then ask him. I personally would not date a smoker. I can not think of any reason to be around it. I know only one person who smokes but I don't see him enough to be bothered by it.


Okay, I'll bite. Do they really say smock instead of smoke where you come from Pattison?

Smoking is an absolute deal breaker for me - as is drug use, obesity, bi-polar disorder (including guys who suddenly stop speaking to you to punish you for some unspoken reason). Forget all of the above. God knows I've tried to help a few guys out of their problems - - what a frustrating deal for me! Get rid of such people. I know this sounds harsh, but what you find is that there are so many more quality guys out there to know and invest your valuable time with!

wow!

I have to agree that smoking would be a total deal-breaker here. If it sounds shallow, so be it, but I find it disgusting. I wouldn't ask someone to quit, because that wouldn't be fair either -- it's really their own business if they choose to smoke.

I'm concerned if someone got behind a wheel of a car after putting away beers and cocktails than someone smoking.

my current bf, after avoiding it for the first 40 some odd years of his life, is a smoker. he claims the stress and long hours of his job (EMT) drove him to it.

i knew of his addiction when we met, so i don't harp on it. TOO much...

he only smokes at work or in bars, when he gets drunk enough. not in his house or his car and OF COURSE not in MY house or car.

we have a wager goin' on...if i drop back down to my college weight (35 more pounds to go!) he will go on the patch or laser sessions or whatever it takes to quit that discusting, life shortening habit.

we shall see...........

I thought it was the smoker's etiquitte responsibility to ask another person in their presence whether it's okay to smoke.

If they don't ask, it's up to you to ask them not to. If they take offense to your request, then they're not worth your time.


SMOKERS: It may be your "right" to smoke, but keep in mind that other than smoker's preferences, some people can actually be allergic to smoke or have asthma. Be courteous about your habit and you wouldn't get such a bad rap.

I would say that at this stage you only have the right to request him not to smoke in your presence where the smoke will bother you. It would be impertinent of you to presume on a first date to tell the man how to conduct his life.

Caslon9000 saidI would say that at this stage you only the right to request him not to smoke in your presence where the smoke will bother you. It would be impertinent of you to presume on a first date to tell the man how to conduct his life.

What he said, and amen to the Nth degree. On the first meeting, no one should presume to have the right dictate the course of someone else's life.

It's the first date.... you might want too back off on nagging him about anything or I see the chances of a 2nd date looking pretty slim.

Maybe if you were dating him for a month. However if you don't like it you don't have to date him. When people quit they have to do it for themselves not nagging boyfriends.

Wow, Brian, I'm so honored that you followed my suggestion!

My bf and I have a deal. I went into therapy to deal with my anger and the mind-fucking I received from abusive people in the past, and he would quit smoking. Right now he is down to a pack every 4 days or so. It's really hard for him to quit. But he knows it is the right thing to do for his health. Plus he knows if he goes back on his word I'll fucking leave him, haha.

LeeBee said

MikePhilPerez said

LeeBee said

MikePhilPerez saidDon't worry about it Lee, lots of smokers are bad mannered

Thanks for that; i'll think about thinking about thinking about it when i know you.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE I SMOKE BUT I DON'T JUDGE.

It was a joke Lee.

I know so many smokers that don't give a shit about people around them. From smoking in there face to leaving buts everywhere. I was just drawing you out to see if you had a view on it. I'm not saying you are like that.

Hmmm, ok im sorry. I hate tone-dead conversations

I do give shit because i always go outside and i have this horrible habit of putting the butts in the top of the packet because i can't find a bin. I thought your were just labelling a group sorry.

Well nice to here that, and there is no need to be sorry. I was winding you up a bit

Earn the right to be heard before you say anything like that. Once you've earned that right, phrase your comments in the typical 'I' statement fashion:

"I feel sick/bad/annoyed (whatever) when you smoke because it causes my eyes to water/causes me to wheeze/concerns me because I care about you." Just fill in the blanks with your own feelings and conditions.

As many others have said, you can't force someone to change. Nicotine is a highly addictive substance, and quitting is difficult (and often not permanent). If it's a non-negotiable for you, then state that up front. If you are meeting guys online, make sure that your non-smoker requirement is posted on your profile.

Everyone has a right to ask someone not to smoke in your presence. I mean, if you want to talk to me do not light up. If you want to be in my house, do not light up. If you want to be in my car, do not light up. To me that is nothing more than good manners.

Simply put, If you know he's a smoker then you have to expect to see a cigarette in his mouth at some point during the night. Now with that being said, you have the right to sit there and ask, "would you mind to not smoke around me?" It's your body too.
However, Smoking is THE HARDEST habit to kick especially if he has been an avid smoker for longer than 5 years. Do not expect him to quit smoking because he's going on a date with you. You have to evaluate if dating a smoker would be a good match for you, especially if you are against being around it. Just some friendly advice.

After a first date, it's too soon to mandate a stop of smoking. Definitely, you can let him know that you don't like it, but unless it's one of those absolute deal breakers for you, which you know, I think is slightly ridiculous, but that's not the issue, just let it go for the time being.

junknemesis saidDISCLAIMER!!! The following post WILL be offensive to some people. Stop reading NOW. If you don't I am NOT responsible to any offense, insult, or whatnot. Do not flame me.

If you are a smoker, I respectfully ask you for your sake, and for thoes you love to try to kick the addiction. It's not a habbit... it's an addicton. You are too beautiful to do this to yourself, and to thoes you love.

First off, what was I supposed to be offended about?

Secondly. I was/am? a smoker. I have finally ceased buying my own packs, but when I'm out drinking at a bar, I sometimes break down and have one. I'm impressed with myself though, because as time goes on, my desire for drunken cigs lessens.

You are right it is an addiction. The problem is that it's a psychological addiction, not a physical one. In truth, the drugs in a cigarette leave your body about 48 hours after consumption. The physical side to it is what's the killer. For example, a big hindrance to my quitting was my job. I really dislike my job. I'm working on changing it, but again, another issue. My job is filled with people who can't do their job properly so they ask me. Smoking was a great escape from it. It was 5 minutes where I just didn't care. I didn't need to. I couldn't come help out, I didn't need to/couldn't be contacted, and it was great. When I first quit, that was the hardest part. Getting past the fact that I just don't have my escape anymore.

cjcscuba1984 saidWhen, if you like him... and want a second date, I would keep your thoughts to yourself. Unless he is smking around you then say something like "cough cough* Sorry I'm an asthmatic"

That's just dumb. You should have enough integrity to at least just man up and say that you don't like smoking, rather than inventing a dumb lie to try to justify yourself.

I find it perfectly reasonable to ask people to not smoke in your presence. Friends of mine certainly requested that of me, and I respected them enough not to. They were of course gracious enough to allow me the occasional one if I asked.

Now, just a bit of perspective for you "absolute deal-breaker" type of guys. Personally, ever hearing someone say something like that would probably make me not want to date YOU. Not because I condone smoking, but because I wouldn't really enjoy the idea of a relationship with someone as hard-nosed and unforgiving as that statement makes you out to be.

It all depends how big his penis is, if its small just dump him and move on. If its big, fat and thick, let him smoke and jump on that thing and ride it all night long. ANd if he wants to smoke let him. Just wear a nose plug so u dont have to smell it, and if he wants to kiss you suck his dick and you will have the taste of his dick in ur mouth so u will not taste the smoke.

i have a lot of negative opinions of smoking and stereotypical smokers, but while it's within my rights to ask him not to smoke at my place or around me - it isn't my right and it is rude, to tell him to stop smoking. ignoring external affects, he's free to damage his lungs if he wants.

If you don't like smoking you can't date him. Asking someone to change something about themselves for you is just bad form.

I knew someone who gave up race-car driving because his wife thought it was too dangerous. She would not marry him because of it. He gave it up and regretted it for years.

Yes, it is bad for peoples health to smoke... but many things are bad for people. Ultimately they have to make their own choices.

collegeswimmr said
whoa man, careful not to fall from that high horse. if you just met the guy it's none of your business whether he smokes or not. If you dont like it, dont date him. It's simple.

I think this is the only way to deal with the issue. You have every right to ask him to stop smoking, or at least not around you, only if you are prepared for the answer, either way.

My last relationship was with a smoker, I care enough about him to ask him to stop, and over the three years we were together, he tried to stop twice, but never smoked around me. If he had not reframed from smoking around me at least, we would have never gotten past the first date.

Well, I'm not a big fan of smoking or smokers, but the first time a guy told me "don't do...." would be the last time he told me anything....especially after only going out once....

Big RED FLAG. Control Freak!

Nearly 8 MILLION folks die, prematurely, every YEAR, due to obesity. Nearly 2 MILLION die, prematurely, from tobacco use.

I suppose that you have to ask yourself what kind of person engages in such self-destructive behavior? Do you want a person that self-destructs in your life? I think you have to also ask if you want to be a passive enabler? I think you have to ask yourself if someone's else life matters to you? With addictions to street drugs, we intervene. With addictions to violence, we intervene. With addiction to theft, we intervene. Is an addiction / compulsion to food or tobacco different? Should we NOT intervene? Should we let folks die needlessly, or pursue "happiness" as they see it? When should we save a life? Do we let the number of fat folks dieing needlessly continue to grow? Should we sit by idly while smokers run up catastrophic health care costs for their eventual treatment for COPD?

You have to ask yourself should you aspire to the greater good of society, or do nothing? You have to ask yourself, can I do something that will save a life today, or should I just let them die? Is it negligent to sit by and do nothing while someone kills themselves? Is it implicit that someone can commit suicide (all be it slowly) without intervention? A saying goes "you can't save the world." Another saying goes "you are your fellow man's keeper."

This is a personal choice that you'll have to make on your own.

Smoking is a deal breaker with me. It's an immediate turn-off. It doesn't even get to the point where I become attracted to them. I cut it off immediately, and say, "Sorry, but I don't date smokers".

I have an ex who is a smoker. Bought him 2 books ("Stop Smoking In One Hour" - Susan Hepburn, "Easy Way To Stop Smoking" - Allen Carr) this year to help with his New Year's resolution.

He did stop smoking for one day after listening to the hypnosis CD by Susan Hepburn. The books even say you don't need will power to stop smoking!

Sadly, it only lasted a day :-(

I know 4 people who stopped smoking permanently for years and 3 people who have tried giving up and failed. The common theme with the ones who were successful in giving up was WILLPOWER. They were determined to give up no matter what they felt. I know their stories, what they tried and you can tell from what they tried and what they have accomplished as to whether they were genuinely serious in giving up or they had the tenacity to stick to their plan.

You can't change them but you can give them some support.

I always liked the saying: "Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke"
I used to have a cool lucite sign with that in tasteful lettering on my desk edge for people to read when they were sitting across from me at the office. (Actually, it was for decoration, 'cause by then we couldn't smoke even in a "smoking room" rather than at the desk. City ordinances required us to go outdoors and farther than 15' from an entryway...) I don't enjoy a fuggy atmosphere any more than the next guy, really.


Also, I've got news for all the non-smokers: Nonsmokers are dying every day, folks! (and it's nothing to do with second-hand or former first-hand smoke, either)!


Yes, etiquette calls for a smoker to ask if a companion "minds" if he/she lights up, and then act accordingly.

Yes, some people are allergic or asthmatic to smoke -- and you know I really was always amazed at the huge increases in such cases in the 80's and 90's -- suddenly everyone seemed to be medically affected by smoke, where there had been not much news of that before. Must have been a terrible cumulative effect...

Yes, this is a fitness site with ancillary benefits and discussions -- and I'm amazed at the rabid and angry reactions a lot.

I agree about the high horse there on a first date (or even later, really -- maybe it is a deal breaker for your new beau, too!)

And finally, I was a smoker for years, and I've been "clean" now for 28 1/2 months -- so goody for me.

next time i get some green i'm gonna think of you guys as i light it up. heh heh heh

I've never been a smoker, I personally think it's disgusting. It can also trigger sinus flare ups which sometimes lead to sinus infections for me. It's my choice whether or not I want to be around someone who's smoking, but it's not my place to demand that they quit.

It's a deal breaker to me if someone lies about being a non-smoker which a lot of guys I've dated have. They usually have some excuse like "they only smoke occasionally, or only smoke when they drink." I always call bs on that, and usually I'm right. if it so happens to be true people who only smoke when they drink are the most disrespectful smokers of them all. There's absolutely no conscious effort to blow away or up, and they'll let the damned thing burn in the ashtray for 15 minutes. Whether it's coming out of their lungs, or off the cig in the ashtray, it's still not healthy to be around.

If a person's honest, and courteous then it's a bit more negotiable. I don't think I'd write off a decent guy just because he smokes. Unfortunately it's an addiction that takes over more silently than drugs or alcohol. However, it does take a lot of money, time, and ultimately your physical health then your life.

Edit: To answer OP's question. Yes, it's bad to tell someone not to smoke. If I went on a date with someone, and he told me to do something or not do something, I'd say "f*** you" and then I'd leave. I hate controlling types. Accept me or let me be..

Breaking the addiction of cigarettes is harder than quitting hard drugs. Plus, the relative ease of use, relative social acceptance and convenience adds to the difficulty of stopping.

I may not like smoking, but I wouldn't automatically dismiss a guy if he does.

I would continue to date him, if he was worth it. I wouldn't pressure him to stop either. He may never stop. Or maybe one day he will wake up and decide to kick the habit. Personally, I deeply admire anyone who has the courage to face his demons. Helping someone do that can only reinforce a friendship and deepen a bond.

I bet there are many wonderful men who smoke. Its too bad that a lot of comments here on RJ describe smokers as a lower life form, unworthy of respect.

I wonder if those who preach from the mountaintop about the lunacy of smoking also practice safe sex, wear their seatbelts, avoid fast food burgers, brush their teeth three times a day, and give alms to the poor.

I would be cautious about dating a guy who has such rabid convictions about anything.

What's the difference between smoking and sticking a needle share by, or havins sex with, someone with HIV? It's probably worse to smoke. It's just retarded, unless you're willing to take the risk - which is still retarded. Sure it may be enjoyable (I guess), but is the enjoyment worth the risk? A person that smokes is literally poisoning their own body.

Same goes for being around them. I get physically sick (cold symptoms) if I'm even around someone smoking for a couple minutes. You have the right to set the limits of unhealthy actions being taken against your own body. I tell my friends that smoke to get the hell out if they attempt to smoke in my home.

Secondhand smoke is considered by SOME as even MORE unhealthy than smoking itself as the inhilation cannot be controlled as well as the smoker could. I have two very close relatives that died of cancer due to cigarette smoke. One was my Grandfather - he was a smoker and worked as a geologist for oil companies. All the crude as well as the cigarettes just massacred his boy by the time he died at 48. The second is my Aunt - she died of cancer earlier this month (only a couple months after being diagnosed) and attributed to seconhand smoke.

I can assure you, being selfish about the safety of your own body is never wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he wont respect your rule, dump him. If he will, then it's his life he's taking in his hands and I wouldn't trust he could love you well if he cant love himself, but that's his issue. Good for you for having the self-respect to not being around it, but telling him to just stop wone help the situation. Tell him it's unhealthy and you don't want the risk. Take it from there.

To all the whiny "it's hard, I'm addicted" nuts that will have issue with this: GET OVER YOURSELF AND GET SOME SELF-RESPECT!

Um. well People keep saying just don't date him.
He is great person and I really like him. JUST ONLY ONE Smoking part is the worst part for him.

So well update

I'm keep telling him that Don't smoke at least when we meet. Oh well he is still smoking but at least I'm trying.

and I'm just thinking about giving him a gift.
well it's gonna be hallmark card and one box of gums.

- Am I being too mom ? lol

GQjock saidYou just met the guy

This isn't like he means anything to you or that he's gonna listen to you at all
better spend the time and energy for a better use

Oh yeah, I'm not gonna force him to stop. but at least I can tell him about quit smoking.

I actually tell everyone around me to stop smoking anyway. lol ( oh, except Biomatty..lol)

But I put the forum about this on the forum because if there is better way for this guy.

but yeahh thanks for the advice

I guarantee that if you keep "telling" him to stop smoking every time you meet him he'll get fed up with you pretty fast.

I know if someone tried bossing me around I'd get pissed.


PS: Grammar and punctuation are your friend.

JayneCobb saidI guarantee that if you keep "telling" him to stop smoking every time you meet him he'll get fed up with you pretty fast.

I know if someone tried bossing me around I'd get pissed.


PS: Grammar and punctuation are your friend.

oh well i know.

and umm. grammar. don't tell me that my english sux, cuz english isn't my first language, it's my 3rd. but well thanks.