Signs of a Closet case

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 10:55 AM GMT
    So i'm just wondering: what are the signs of a "closet case"?

    I'm having a hard time determining if a friend is just too friendly or just deep in the closet icon_confused.gif He fits a lot of the signs that i know of, but i still think he could just be a friendly guy. Are there any specific signs out there?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 11:09 AM GMT

    Classic example: he turns green and he turns blue at will. icon_wink.gif
    126152_269442.jpg
  • Sayrnas

    Posts: 847

    Feb 12, 2009 2:42 PM GMT
    ZiMsTeR said
    Classic example: he turns green and he turns blue at will. icon_wink.gif
    126152_269442.jpg


    lol

  • gsh1964

    Posts: 388

    Feb 12, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    There isn't any certain rule or sign. Everyone's process is different.

    Let him work it out on his own and when he's ready he'll tell you. When and if he ever does, look at him and say, "Well it's about time, let's get a drink."

    Just be a friend and be patient. Being patient is the hardest part because it's not about you.

    Before you get defensive about that statement, it is about you. YOU are dying to know if he is gay or straight.

    So be patient and be a true friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 2:52 PM GMT
    James_562 saidSo i'm just wondering: what are the signs of a "closet case"?

    I'm having a hard time determining if a friend is just too friendly or just deep in the closet icon_confused.gif He fits a lot of the signs that i know of, but i still think he could just be a friendly guy. Are there any specific signs out there?



    No, none that I am aware of. Does this friend of yours know you are gay? If he does then maybe he is trying to drop hints that he is at least bisexual.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Feb 12, 2009 3:04 PM GMT
    Strange behaviour like saying that guys have nice body, that guys is good looking. Or get defensive when other people is critizing gay people or to extreme hate to other gay people. A guys who prefer to hang around girls , like going to lunch, gossiping . I suspect my best friend at work is at least bisexual eventhough he is married with one kid.

    But people like me dont do those stuff. I dont like to gossip, I dont comment about how goodlooking a guys is . I like to go for lunch alone. And I am 200% gay. You dont know gay/bisexual people , unless you caught them in action or they confess to it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 3:24 PM GMT
    i disagree, they're usually the most homophobic guy in the room, cause they're in the closet for a reason: they're afraid of themselves and to an extent, hate themselves- that gets projected onto others and that obvious fear is a big sign they're wrestling with themselves inwardly as much as they're railing against it outwardly. guys who are comfortable enough with their sexuality to compliment other guys on their looks, or gossip with girls, are merely just that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 10:21 PM GMT
    gsh1964 saidThere isn't any certain rule or sign. Everyone's process is different.

    Let him work it out on his own and when he's ready he'll tell you. When and if he ever does, look at him and say, "Well it's about time, let's get a drink."

    Just be a friend and be patient. Being patient is the hardest part because it's not about you.

    Before you get defensive about that statement, it is about you. YOU are dying to know if he is gay or straight.

    So be patient and be a true friend.


    I have no problem with being patient icon_smile.gif

    This is what i'm doing right now, so i have no problem continuing this lol. i don't know what i'd do if he came out, but i think i'd wait awhile before i'd date him. it's just that one of my best friends is dating him right now, and she's becoming more insecure about him lately. for now i'll just consider him a flirty straight friend and accept that. hopefully that's all he is for my friend's sake icon_confused.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Feb 12, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    I try to have respect for someone who is still in the closet or perhaps struggling to come out because I remember all too well (I'm sure we all do) what a scary, confusing, difficult time that can be. These things can't be rushed...someone comes out when they are emotionally and mentally ready...it's a very personal thing that is different with each individual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 10:28 PM GMT
    Do what my mom did when she dragged me out of the closet:

    Stand in front of him with both hands on his shoulders.

    Look deep into his eyes and say:

    "Honey, I know... I've always known. It's okay, I still love you."

    Either that or say:

    "Dude, don't be a pussy... 'Closets are for brooms, not people'"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    icon_mad.gif
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Feb 12, 2009 11:35 PM GMT
    If he won't look you in the eyes while you're on top, total closet case!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 11:43 PM GMT
    I tend to attract nothing but the closet cases with gfs and wives. A big warning bell to me is if they want to hang out with you a lot when their gf isn't around. Or if they to to wrestle or make a lot of contact when they know you're gay. Most totally straight guys aren't so down to play physical contact sports with an open gay guy. However, there's too many different types of personalities out there to say "look, here's a list."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 12, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    luvjunkie saidI tend to attract nothing but the closet cases with gfs and wives. A big warning bell to me is if they want to hang out with you a lot when their gf isn't around. Or if they to to wrestle or make a lot of contact when they know you're gay. Most totally straight guys aren't so down to play physical contact sports with an open gay guy. However, there's too many different types of personalities out there to say "look, here's a list."


    True. This guy happens to really affectionate... i just recently had a talk with him to tone down a bit with me or i'll end up falling for him. He likes to cuddle, hug, and grab my ass (especially when he's drunk). He ended up feeling really bad about when i told him and apologized for it. We're going to be living together starting in june and I am excited to have a guy best friend again icon_smile.gif The past three or so years, the vast majority of my friends have been girls and while i love em to death, its different than being friends with guys.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Feb 12, 2009 11:55 PM GMT
    metafor said
    CuriousJockAZ saidI try to have respect for someone who is still in the closet or perhaps struggling to come out because I remember all too well (I'm sure we all do) what a scary, confusing, difficult time that can be. These things can't be rushed...someone comes out when they are emotionally and mentally ready...it's a very personal thing that is different with each individual.


    Do you mean coming out of the closet to others, or coming out to one's self and actually acknowledging that you're gay?


    To others...denial to yourself is a whole other thing
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2009 1:31 AM GMT
    swimbikerun saidIf he won't look you in the eyes while you're on top, total closet case!


    Dude....that's HOT!!!!!icon_twisted.gif

    I always find the closeted ones tend to be the most curious once they find out I'm gay.
    They're the ones who ask questions like...

    "So what's that like??" icon_mad.gif and say things like
    "I'm not gay or anything..." (Right) icon_rolleyes.gif

    As fun as it it to play with these boy's my best advice is to be there as a friend because they are going through a lot as you, I'm sure, can relate to, but let him come to terms with who he is before you get yourself in a situation that can be harmful to you.icon_smile.gif

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Feb 13, 2009 1:31 AM GMT
    James_562 saidSo i'm just wondering: what are the signs of a "closet case"?

    I'm having a hard time determining if a friend is just too friendly or just deep in the closet icon_confused.gif He fits a lot of the signs that i know of, but i still think he could just be a friendly guy. Are there any specific signs out there?



    Ask him if he wants to watch gay porn with you. A totally straight man would have zero interest in this!! Case solved -next--
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 9:14 PM GMT
    I really don't make the effort to deal with guys who are closet cases because they will go out of their way to make themselves look ridiculous trying to have it both ways...I do make a point very clear to them...

    Closets are for clothes, cleaning supplies & miscellaneous things, not where you hide your feelings whereas your sexual orientation comes into play.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 9:18 PM GMT
    Log onto manhunt or craig's list. Plenty of textbook examples of closet cases there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 9:45 PM GMT
    Overcompensating

    There's the whole gay hormones thing, we could just smell them out icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 12, 2009 6:40 AM GMT
    If I knew the answer to this question, I'd write a book, seriously.
    There's not even good articles online about it.

    I suppose closet cases give away very subjective leads. From case to case.

    Well, I'm in the closet so I can tell you what my behavior is like:

    - Many friends who are girls. (I'd say it's 50/50 now)
    - Avoid relationship talks or gay topics with friends.
    - Keep few but close friends. (the trust issue I suppose)
    - Peak on guys whenever possible. (lol..)

    Someone mentioned overcompensating. That's actually pretty accurate I suppose. Closet cases feel really strong about some personality trait, where they 'let it out'.

    But then again, I know some closet cases who don't fit this profile.

    Well man, I don't know..