Would you date a high functioning cocaine user?

  • Leftswiper

    Posts: 90

    Sep 17, 2016 2:09 AM GMT
    Started seeing a guy a couple weeks ago, everything is great about him except he does a lot of drugs - this is something he said I should know "before [I] decide to want to get to know him better". He snorted $100 worth of coke at my place before and after sex last night just because he had just bought some from his dealer. He's got amazing people skills tho and somehow manages to keep his act together as a law student and competitive athlete. Should this be a concern?
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    Sep 17, 2016 4:38 AM GMT
    Should be a concern only if the guy is addicted - where he needs it to function. I dated a cocaine user once - problem was, that when he did a lot of coke he couldn't get it up.

    Not so common now, but a number of years ago it seemed like everyone (who could afford it) was snorting coke. (Except me.) Almost none of them were "addicts," like those who become addicted so quickly from doing crack cocaine.

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    Sep 17, 2016 11:25 AM GMT
    Leftswiper said He's got amazing people skills tho and somehow manages to keep his act together as a law student and competitive athlete. Should this be a concern?

    Have an exit plan. Your wasting your time. You don't love your self...
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    Sep 17, 2016 2:06 PM GMT
    na ur gonna end up a crack whore

    N tell him to stop being a loser and stick to weed

    An weren't u that guy who made a thread about how good someone had just fucked ur ass and now ur the coke heads crack whore dam u must b loose

    btw vote trump
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    Sep 17, 2016 2:10 PM GMT
    Leftswiper said
    He's got amazing people skills tho and somehow manages to keep his act together as a law student and competitive athlete. Should this be a concern?

    Don't date him, and keep your distance. First, he may be high-functioning today - he might not be tomorrow. A future dead end for you.

    Second, he's a police arrest waiting to happen. You don't want to be in the vicinity when that goes down, because of the risk of implication.

    Third, as these guys waste their money on an expensive habit, they begin to lie, cheat & steal to support their addiction. Even from friends & family, because their craving makes them lose all morality and self-respect. They become hopelessly desperate. You may not see it now, but if he doesn't stop early it's coming.

    I once stayed overnight with a guy in Minneapolis out of convenience. My good friend, with whom I normally stayed when I was in the Twin Cities, had some conflicts that prevented him accommodating me my first night in town, and until late afternoon the next day. But my own schedule commitments forced me to arrive a day before that.

    I knew this other guy from AOL gay chat rooms only, had never met. He offered to put me up, so I took a chance. In return I provided him supper. He seemed like an OK guy.

    All went well until the next morning. He woke up early, and when I awoke I heard all this door knocking and talking with different voices. I got out of bed and saw him in the front doorway of this older inner-city house he rented, right on the sidewalk and a busy street. With a steady stream of morning "customers" coming up, conducting business right in plain view, exchanging money, not even going inside out of sight.

    When he came back inside he freely admitted he was dealing drugs, these were his regular customers. How he supported himself, and kept his own habit going. He showed me a large clear plastic bag filled with pills of every color, and he had weed, too. He offered me some, which I declined.

    He was just begging for the police to see him, or neighbors to report him. OK, I didn't want to be there during a police raid, or covert surveillance. I was outta there NOW! I made my cell phone ring, and faked getting an imaginary call from my friend. I told the other guy that my friend's plans had changed, and he wanted me to join him right away for late breakfast.

    I packed, gave my thanks, and jumped into my car. Of course my friend wasn't gonna be home until 4 PM as previously planned, so I just killed time in downtown Minneapolis until then.
  • leanandclean

    Posts: 281

    Sep 17, 2016 6:10 PM GMT
    No.
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    Sep 17, 2016 9:32 PM GMT
    No . Not interested in dealing with a druggie. Dealing with an alcoholic is heartbreaking too. I don't want to go through that again either.
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    Sep 18, 2016 2:16 AM GMT
    Michelle did:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/24/world/americas/24iht-dems.3272493.html?_r=0
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 364

    Sep 18, 2016 2:51 AM GMT
    No. Not-Negotiable either.
  • jaxsurfer

    Posts: 83

    Sep 18, 2016 12:36 PM GMT
    Nope! What a joke.
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    Sep 18, 2016 1:38 PM GMT
    He bought coke just before a scheduled meeting with you. He used it in your presence. That says he's addicted. Most addicts that I know are extremely charming convincing and charismatic. They have to appear "high functioning" in order to continue using. He'll either try to get you hooked or he will soon disappear forever.
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    Sep 18, 2016 1:59 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 said
    No . Not interested in dealing with a druggie. Dealing with an alcoholic is heartbreaking too. I don't want to go through that again either.


    mx5guynj said
    Michelle did:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/24/world/americas/24iht-dems.3272493.html?_r=0

    Barack Obama said he inhaled when he was young. Not that he was a druggie. Nor an alcoholic.

    You must be thinking of Laura Bush's having to deal with GW's well known problems.
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    Sep 18, 2016 2:16 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Jockbod48 said
    No . Not interested in dealing with a druggie. Dealing with an alcoholic is heartbreaking too. I don't want to go through that again either.


    mx5guynj said
    Michelle did:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/24/world/americas/24iht-dems.3272493.html?_r=0

    Barack Obama said he inhaled when he was young. Not that he was a druggie. Nor an alcoholic.

    You must be thinking of Laura Bush's having to deal with GW's well known problems.


    Actually Obama mentions his difficulty with cocaine in his book, Dreams of My Father. He poked fun at Bill Clinton saying of course he inhaled marijuana. "That's the whole point isn't it?"
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 18, 2016 4:01 PM GMT
    It is playing with fire. I agree with jimib- addicts are very frequently charming and high energy, life of the party people. Not everyone who plays with drugs ends up in trouble, many can dial it back when it becomes important that they do, but there are three kinds of addiction: 1. People who have a predisposition to addiction, a genetic issue. If you know the family, you will probably see someone of every generation who got into trouble with addiction. 2. People for whom certain addictive drugs can actually cause a switch to flip in the brain and other psychological issues arise, often it is a personality disorder, or Schizophrenia. Usually happens in late teens or the 20's. 3. Just a simple addiction that can be controlled and still be happy and productive. The problem young people have is we all assume it is #3 when we meet an addict and it can appear that way for years so by the time you find out it is #1 or #2, you're invested and the situation becomes painful for everybody. You can usually pick out the pattern in an older person's life and make the distinction but you simply don't have the history to look at with a younger person. But I'd guess that half my friends from college days forward have had addictions along the way that they managed to control. So you can't just walk away from everyone who seems way too fond of some substance. But you do need to keep the issue in the back of your mind and not get pulled in too far down the rabbit hole.
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    Sep 18, 2016 8:22 PM GMT
    [size=34]H- E - L - L

    N- O !
    [/size]
  • MuscledHorse

    Posts: 53

    Sep 19, 2016 3:10 AM GMT
    No No NO!!! I'm just getting out of what has been a four year relationship from hell with an alcoholic. No matter what I've done to try and help him in that time has done any good. He is still in denial about his condition and it has poisoned every aspect of his life from employment (or lack of it--walking off of four jobs in four years) to finances to motivation (he has none unless it involves cooking the occasional meal or figuring out how to get more vodka) to physical health (seizures, broken foot room falling that hasn't healed up and still hurts, liver enzymes running at five times the upper limit of normal). DO NOT DO IT! You cannot save him if he doesn't sincerely want it and he will pull you under with him if you give him half a chance.
  • Dynamo_spark

    Posts: 224

    Sep 19, 2016 8:14 AM GMT
    Would you like to find your friend dead in a bath tub like Whitney Houston? Try get the guy some help.
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    Sep 19, 2016 9:48 AM GMT
    The morally superior boring dick lickers who already posted their distaste for drug users is a great example of why you should date drug users. The drug haters are so boring and seemingly know everything about everything, I'd rather shoot heroin than date the anxious muscle bound pussies.
    The only dates I have ever walked out of have been the people unable to order a glass of wine because they are in "recovery". Seriously, boring losers are always boring. Not sure if they were losers first and then became boring, or if they start out boring and the only position left is being a loser. Either way, stay clear of the know it all types, the passive aggressive types and the so sure of themselves types that always turn out to one know nothings.
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    Sep 19, 2016 5:29 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidThe morally superior boring dick lickers who already posted their distaste for drug users is a great example of why you should date drug users. The drug haters are so boring and seemingly know everything about everything, I'd rather shoot heroin than date the anxious muscle bound pussies.
    The only dates I have ever walked out of have been the people unable to order a glass of wine because they are in "recovery". Seriously, boring losers are always boring. Not sure if they were losers first and then became boring, or if they start out boring and the only position left is being a loser. Either way, stay clear of the know it all types, the passive aggressive types and the so sure of themselves types that always turn out to one know nothings.


    a busted flush everyone
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 19, 2016 5:34 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidThe morally superior boring dick lickers who already posted their distaste for drug users is a great example of why you should date drug users. The drug haters are so boring and seemingly know everything about everything, I'd rather shoot heroin than date the anxious muscle bound pussies.
    The only dates I have ever walked out of have been the people unable to order a glass of wine because they are in "recovery". Seriously, boring losers are always boring. Not sure if they were losers first and then became boring, or if they start out boring and the only position left is being a loser. Either way, stay clear of the know it all types, the passive aggressive types and the so sure of themselves types that always turn out to one know nothings.


    lol Ya, this is true, too. Ya gotta have fun in this life. Taking risks is part of how the fun is found.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14395

    Sep 19, 2016 10:53 PM GMT
    Hell the fuck no! Tell this guy to clean up his act and stop abusing drugs or it is over!
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    Sep 19, 2016 10:56 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidYa gotta have fun in this life. Taking risks is part of how the fun is found.

    Hmm, maybe that's why guys do bareback.
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    Sep 20, 2016 7:48 PM GMT
    I know several "big law" partners that snort coke and they are fully functional---in fact, extraordinarily intellectually sharp. However, they're generally client-greedy and there's a reason for that---coke is an expensive habit and you can never have enough money if you're a habitual coke user. I've never done coke, but I don't judge people who do it because I don't really know what's happening in their life. And no, I wouldn't date a habitual coke user.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 20, 2016 8:22 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    Destinharbor saidYa gotta have fun in this life. Taking risks is part of how the fun is found.

    Hmm, maybe that's why guys do bareback.

    I was thinking more like taking shrooms in Amsterdam and wondering the streets...
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    Sep 20, 2016 11:26 PM GMT
    Leftswiper saidStarted seeing a guy a couple weeks ago, everything is great about him except he does a lot of drugs - this is something he said I should know "before [I] decide to want to get to know him better". He snorted $100 worth of coke at my place before and after sex last night just because he had just bought some from his dealer. He's got amazing people skills tho and somehow manages to keep his act together as a law student and competitive athlete. Should this be a concern?


    Absolutely not. Huge deal breaker for me. I've seen what that shit does to friends of mine. He might be "highly functioning" now (or so you think) but that will eventually deteriorate until he cannot function.