Is it wrong that I broke up with boyfriend because he told me he used to date and have sex with women?

  • Brock700xChar...

    Posts: 409

    Sep 19, 2016 3:37 AM GMT
    My boyfriend who is now recently my ex was very sexy, muscular, and tall, also he has a amazing personality, and his light green eyes, black hair and tan skin is to die for!! But recently he told me that he used to date girls, and have sex with women, that was one of the most horrific things a gay guy can tell you, and a ultimate deal-breaker as well. The fact he had sexual experiences with women just turned me off completely so i broke up with him. He looked like he wanted to cry, and tried to convince me he's still gay even though , a guy trying sex with a woman is always going to be at least bi or straight, never gay. I really don't see if I was wrong or not, but I wonder why more gay guys don't break up with men who have had sex with women more often.
  • Eleven

    Posts: 159

    Sep 19, 2016 6:24 AM GMT
    Why ask if you are wrong if you are set in your ways?

    I think its wrong to let someones sexuality and sexual past be the driving force in how you build an opinion on that person...

    Sexuality is such a small fraction of who we are as people, to reflect on just only that facet of a person shows that you are shallow and incapable of having a deep connection with someone, there is nothing wrong with that, some of us are meant to chase waterfalls while others stick to the rivers and lakes that theyre used to. ;)
  • Kraken

    Posts: 13

    Sep 19, 2016 7:10 AM GMT
    I'd say yes, you're wrong because not everyone is born knowing who they are or what they want. He might have had sex with girls in the past, he obviously plucked up the courage to be with a man and finally with you. It seems kind of shallow for you to leave him for that reason, when getting through that part of his life and realizing himself might have been a hard time for him.
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    Sep 19, 2016 9:55 AM GMT
    Brock700 saidthat was one of the most horrific things a gay guy can tell you


    I think you must have lived a very sheltered life if that's the case! Quite a lot of gay men have dated/had sex with women in the past. My hubby did, my first ever bf did, I think you need to get over it because it shouldn't be that big a deal.
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    Sep 19, 2016 10:14 AM GMT
    PulseFit said
    Brock700 saidthat was one of the most horrific things a gay guy can tell you


    I think you must have lived a very sheltered life if that's the case! Quite a lot of gay men have dated/had sex with women in the past. My hubby did, my first ever bf did, I think you need to get over it because it shouldn't be that big a deal.


    Yeah... This. What's past is past and can't be undone. That's no reason to not make a future with him.
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    Sep 19, 2016 11:52 AM GMT
    I wonder if this rigid and narrow attitude about men is common to Australian culture. The only other time I've run into it so dogmatically expressed is from the one glaring Aussie asshole we have online here. Perhaps our most undereducated and poorly written RJ member, although I wouldn't want to make other comparisons with the OP prematurely except on this one issue.

    And I make that harsh comment with reluctance, since both my husband & I really like Australians, and for him the country itself also, when he was there (I've never been, but my sister visits annually). Nicest people, I always enjoy meeting them as tourists here, or chatting with them online.

    But this idée fixe that any man who's ever spent time with women can't be truly gay, at most bisexual, is weird to me. About half the gay men I know today have had some prior involvement with women. Some even legally married with children. At least the OP's BF hadn't done that much, apparently.

    And these formerly married men have been living gay, some partnered, for decades. I don't think they'll be exhibiting bisexual behavior at this point, so their gay partners have nothing to fear. Nor complain about, if relationship longevity, stability, happiness, and my observations socializing with them are any indication.

    I went through the same thing as they did, perhaps more severe. Because I didn't really believe I COULD be gay. Nor, quite frankly, did I want to be gay. Therefore I wasn't gay in practice. But women really never did interest me at all, so I had no sexual outlets.

    I had to force myself to date women to please my nagging parents, and conform to US Army expectations for an Officer, in order to keep my career thriving. I suspect many gays face this dilemma, even when their employment is civilian rather than military.

    Perhaps the OP's BF did, too, or just wanted to experiment, learn about himself, a bit of "What the hell, let's try it once and find out what those straight guys are raving about." (Robin Williams line from the US film "The Birdcage", where he's reminiscing with his son's mother, whom he never married, merely had a 1-nighter)

    Hell, even my husband dated (though never married) to silence his family's complaints. And to win favor with the young woman's father, an Army Colonel when, like me, he was also in uniform. But neither I nor any of our friends have ever noticed any residual sexual interest in women on his part. It isn't like he was corrupted, changed or converted by his expedient & situational behavior with women.

    So that I think the OP may have made a mistake in dumping his BF. A wonderful catch, by his own words. All based on a prejudicial notion ("...a guy trying sex with a woman is always going to be at least bi or straight, never gay"). Sounds like something that our resident RJ idiot from the OP's country would say.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 19, 2016 3:01 PM GMT
    I think your reasons for breaking up are absurd. So he wasn't sure at first. So what. Maybe he was sure but afraid of life ostracized from much of society. I've known guys that didn't realize they were gay until after college. When you ask them about it, it is usually pretty obvious that they were gay all along but they truly didn't recognize it themselves. Or wanted to be straight so bad they blocked out the signals. People are complex. But I think your boyfriend is better off without you. Your description of him is all about looks. You never bothered to know him as a person. The minute he dropped his guard and let himself be vulnerable, you rejected him. No one should have to live with someone so intolerant. You have a weird view of women and what sex is all about. You have a shallow view of what human relations are all about.
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    Sep 19, 2016 6:07 PM GMT
    Brock700 said...

    How's your daughter doing David3k?
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    Sep 19, 2016 6:59 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    How's your daughter doing David3k?

    icon_exclaim.gif Should I ask who is David3k?
  • nick773

    Posts: 16

    Sep 19, 2016 8:15 PM GMT
    yea I think its wrong.
  • Brock700xChar...

    Posts: 409

    Sep 20, 2016 12:42 AM GMT
    Kraken saidI'd say yes, you're wrong because not everyone is born knowing who they are or what they want. He might have had sex with girls in the past, he obviously plucked up the courage to be with a man and finally with you. It seems kind of shallow for you to leave him for that reason, when getting through that part of his life and realizing himself might have been a hard time for him.

    The fact that he mechanically fucked a woman and was in between her legs pumping away, and climaxed with them is disgusting, and disturbing and beyond my ability to accept or tolerate the fact he used to have sex with a woman. We we together for 6 years, but is oast with women killed it. I could never be attracted to gay guy who has had sex with a woman before. he also had sex with a lot of guys in college, and had one-night stands, so I would of broke up the engagement anyways because he used to be a manwhore in the past. I have to 100% like your past, present, and future to be in a relationship with a guy, so there can't be anything in your past that i don't like.
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    Sep 20, 2016 12:49 AM GMT
    This is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 20, 2016 12:55 AM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidThis is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif


    icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Sep 20, 2016 1:24 AM GMT
    Brock700 said
    The fact that he mechanically fucked a woman and was in between her legs pumping away, and climaxed with them is disgusting, and disturbing and beyond my ability to accept or tolerate the fact he used to have sex with a woman. We we together for 6 years, but is oast with women killed it. I could never be attracted to gay guy who has had sex with a woman before. he also had sex with a lot of guys in college, and had one-night stands, so I would of [sic] broke up the engagement anyways because he used to be a manwhore in the past. I have to 100% like your past, present, and future to be in a relationship with a guy, so there can't be anything in your past that i don't like.

    OK, I've concluded you're a hopeless troll. And possibly not even gay yourself. Or else some troubled gay guy, who can't come to grips with who he is, and what that means.

    Unlike you, I'd be more concerned about getting entangled with a man who had NOT been previously involved with other guys, and maybe women. An innocent babe-in-the-woods about whom I wasn't sure of his orientation, knowledge or expectations.

    I've always WANTED a guy to have some notches on his gay belt. Your model is more like the old fashioned heterosexual straight male, who insists on taking an untouched virgin female into his wedding bed.

    Well, guess what? Even the majority of American straight brides come to their wedding beds already "deflowered". Very likely by several guys, if not including the groom himself, guys who've had many premarital "conquests". Because somebody's gotta be doing it to account for all those "despoiled" women.

    And so you're complaining that your BF wasn't chaste and pure? Are you? You should be grateful that he was experienced. And having sampled the field, he chose you over all those others. What a compliment!

    Frankly I'd be honored, and flattered in that situation. You're either a fool, or playing games with us.

    You may have thrown away a keeper, based on irrational & insupportable prejudice. Consider getting him back, if he's still available and will have you. But this time you treasure him, got it?
  • Brock700xChar...

    Posts: 409

    Sep 20, 2016 2:23 AM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidThis is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif


    I was joking, that is my way of exposing all the bisexual guys on this site, but you're not my type, I like muscular guys, think Chris Hemsworth, or Zeb Atlas.
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    Sep 20, 2016 3:05 AM GMT
    Obvious troll
    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 20, 2016 3:21 AM GMT
    Brock700 said
    Nebraskakid467 said
    This is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I was joking, that is my way of exposing all the bisexual guys on this site, but you're not my type, I like muscular guys, think Chris Hemsworth, or Zeb Atlas.

    And why do the bisexual guys on this site need your "exposing" them? I wasn't aware that was anyone's mission here.

    Do you have a list of RJ bisexuals you've developed so far? If so, what is the purpose of your "exposing" them? Exposing to whom?

    And, Oh, BTW, this site clearly states it's for GAY men. Bisexuals aren't mentioned. Is that why your mission is to "expose" them? You might wanna discuss this with RJ Admin. Perhaps you can develop some joint strategy to achieve your goal.

    I do urge you to approach them with your RJ innovation. To boot and bar all bi's. I'm sure they'll give you the reward you deserve for your original initiative.

    http://www.realjock.com/aboutus/
  • Brock700xChar...

    Posts: 409

    Sep 20, 2016 3:34 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Brock700 said
    Nebraskakid467 said
    This is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I was joking, that is my way of exposing all the bisexual guys on this site, but you're not my type, I like muscular guys, think Chris Hemsworth, or Zeb Atlas.

    And why do the bisexual guys on this site need your "exposing" them? I wasn't aware that was anyone's mission here.

    Do you have a list of bisexuals you've developed so far? If so, what is the purpose of your "exposing" them? Exposing to whom?

    And, Oh, BTW, this site clearly states it's for GAY men. Bisexuals aren't mentioned.

    http://www.realjock.com/aboutus/


    So I know not to talk them, I don't want a connection with a bi guy.
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    Sep 20, 2016 3:47 AM GMT
    Brock700 said
    So I know not to talk them, I don't want a connection with a bi guy.

    Kinda the wrong site for such a discriminatory stance. How do you define "connection"?

    But I think a connection between you and RJ Admin might be overdue. I'm sure you'll have a lot to discuss, perhaps solve your conflicts with bi's and other issues you have here

    Just click this and enter your problem with bi's. RJ Admin will be glad to set you straight.

    http://www.realjock.com/help/
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    Sep 20, 2016 3:52 AM GMT
    JonSpringon said
    Nebraskakid467 saidThis is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif

    icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Methinks David3k is trying to throw out a red herring
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    Sep 20, 2016 11:01 AM GMT
    Brock700 said
    The fact that he mechanically fucked a woman and was in between her legs pumping away, and climaxed with them is disgusting, and disturbing and beyond my ability to accept or tolerate the fact he used to have sex with a woman. We we together for 6 years, but is oast with women killed it. I could never be attracted to gay guy who has had sex with a woman before. he also had sex with a lot of guys in college, and had one-night stands, so I would of broke up the engagement anyways because he used to be a manwhore in the past. I have to 100% like your past, present, and future to be in a relationship with a guy, so there can't be anything in your past that i don't like.


    Good luck finding someone who can possibly measure up to/tolerate your ridiculously strict criteria then. I think you'll end up alone.
  • trvlmscl

    Posts: 136

    Sep 20, 2016 6:31 PM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidThis is funny, considering you messaged me asking for a threeway between you and another girl...? icon_rolleyes.gif


    Ditto. I read his post with a disgusted look on my face. You know, the same facial contortion when one discovers a troll/catfish.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2016 7:37 PM GMT
    I like men who have or have had sex with women. I did for a long time and I can state with certainty that I'm a better top/lover because of that experience.
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    Sep 20, 2016 11:07 PM GMT
    Obvious troll is obvious.

    But let's pretend for a second that this is an actual post about something that actually happened (it isn't): yes, you were wrong. What does it matter what a guy has done in his past, all you should be concerned with is his present.
  • Brock700xChar...

    Posts: 409

    Sep 21, 2016 12:44 AM GMT
    DOMINUS saidI like men who have or have had sex with women. I did for a long time and I can state with certainty that I'm a better top/lover because of that experience.


    Because you're bisexual, so of course you like guys to be bisexual like you.