mom confronts store clerk who thought her kids cultural garments were Halloween costumes

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    Sep 19, 2016 11:10 PM GMT
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    It gets even better when she talks to the manager:

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    Sep 20, 2016 12:26 AM GMT
    I do have to wonder why that garb. Perhaps something at school that day. I wonder what tribe and part of Africa.

    But then I try not to become loud & confrontational in situations where I myself feel offended, or those with me. I quietly talk it out, work it through. I usually get better results with friendly reasoning, than hostile threats. The opposite generally seems to be the case, in my experience, when emotional & excitable straight women are involved, more than when men are. And regardless of skin color.

    Men tend to be more introspective and reserved, a little more world-wise. For one thing they're not at home screaming at the kids all the time. Transposing that domestic approach into stores doesn't always work. Whereas the male response, typically to be more interested in solving the problem logically, efficiently, and amicably if possible, usually gets better results.

    Not that there aren't male exceptions. But if I encounter them I just ignore & bypass them if I can. Not worth my time dealing with hopelessly immature brats.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Sep 20, 2016 12:36 AM GMT
    Bitch be trollin.
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    Sep 20, 2016 2:33 AM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow said
    Yes, if it truly was traditional African garb she would have done better to use the moment to teach about the country, tribe, and cultural significance of the outfit, but no, she chose to show herself for what she truly is: ill-breed, ignorant, low-class, foul-mouthed, stereotypical angry, black woman.

    This was nothing more than a set up.

    I'm glad you show your true colors, by focusing on her skin color, and your alleged stereotypes associated with that. Well, perhaps the stereotypes in YOUR life, and those you follow, but not in mine.

    I will agree with part of your approach. Had her son participated in something at school, the reason for his attire, I would have used the sales person's comment as an opportunity. Something like this, and enthusiastically smiling the whole time:

    "Oh, yes! We just came from a school program today. Where the students dressed to represent their ancestral heritage [or describing whatever it was]. His clothing represents the native dress of (....). It's really very authentic. What do you think?"

    That defuses the situation, and puts the other person on the spot. What are they gonna say? If they object and get offensive then you do have grounds for calling for manager. But I wouldn't confront and yell at the sales person. That only degrades you, to be engaging in such an exchange.

    The correct response is to remain calm, composed. and dignified. That more often gets you a favorable outcome. Versus a confrontation with store security personnel for your loud efforts.

    My goal isn't to fan an egotistic sense of superiority. It's to get my desired results. And so I brush aside personal affronts (until later sometimes, when, at my convenience, I may choose to nail some one).

    My only goal is the immediate functional result I'm seeking, nothing more. Ego isn't part of the equation. My tactics usually achieve it. Scream and pound your fist all you like, tell them how important you are and who you know. While I'll smile & finesse my way to results before the bullies likely will, if ever.
  • Brock700xChar...

    Posts: 387

    Sep 20, 2016 3:27 AM GMT
    I would of kicked her ass if she talked to me that way!
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    Sep 20, 2016 4:17 AM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow saidshe chose to show herself for what she truly is: ill-breed, ignorant, low-class, foul-mouthed, stereotypical angry, black woman.

    The kids are right there and in every other sentence she uses the word fuck. Great example she's setting.

    Imagine if they were Japanese, Chinese, Polish, Peruvian, etc. wearing traditional clothing from their ancestor's country, and how their parents would have reacted. Probably just ignored it, or more likely told the salesperson why they were dressed that way.
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    Sep 21, 2016 5:27 AM GMT
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  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Sep 21, 2016 3:51 PM GMT
    Forget about the ridiculous "cultural garments" that I'm sure other kids in the hood gave her children a far harder time about than the store clerk did. Let's talk about this mother's horrendous mouth. She is a sad role model for those kids if that's the kind of language she uses around them.
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    Sep 21, 2016 10:41 PM GMT
    Where I live there are few blacks. But I was around many at work. One time at the grocery store there was a mother and daughter and what I assumed was her daughter's friend from school; they looked to be in junior high or maybe early high school. The mother was talking on the phone and every other sentence contained the words fuck, shit, or motherfucker. Apparently with some versions of ebonics/AAVE using those words is a natural part of it and the speaker is completely unaware that those words are inappropriate.
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    Sep 21, 2016 10:53 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    The kids are right there and in every other sentence she uses the word fuck. Great example she's setting.

    Imagine if they were Japanese, Chinese, Polish, Peruvian, etc. wearing traditional clothing from their ancestor's country, and how their parents would have reacted. Probably just ignored it, or more likely told the salesperson why they were dressed that way.

    A good point about the children. I was once in a situation like that, although perhaps not so crude, that I found terribly humiliating. (Long personal anecdote follows)

    I was around 13, making it about 1962. Our family had gone out to Sunday dinner, as we often did in the winter months. My Father & I were both dressed in suit & tie, my Mother & Sister in dresses, as we usually were on those occassions. The restaurant was extremely exclusive, with about a 6-month wait for reservations, the only way you could get in.

    I ordered something simple, a chicken breast. I was afraid to try the more daunting dishes. Most of which I couldn't begin to understand, much less pronounce. In fact, I think my parents had to let me know that it WAS just a breast of chicken on the menu, with a super-fancy name.

    Our food arrived, and my Father immediately objected to mine. Telling the waiter that it wasn't a chicken breast as advertised, because there was a leg attached. The waiter said they served it that way, virtually an entire half chicken. My father wasn't satisfied, and loudly insisted on seeing the manager.

    Not using crude language, I don't think I ever heard my Father use 4-letter words in my entire life. One of his many admirable attributes, that I hope to have acquired from him.

    I was just sitting there getting red faced. I don't know what had gotten into him. He almost never behaved that way. So he and the manager argued loudly back and forth, the manager not yielding, my Father saying he'd never return there. And he didn't. I was afraid at one point we were going to be ejected.

    Meanwhile we were the embarrassing center of attention in the restaurant, all eyes & ears on us. Actually kinda traumatizing to me, because I still remember it, very vividly.

    I finally was able to eat my food. I quietly told my Father that it was delicious, and I had no complaints. Regardless of what he thought it was, or wasn't. He glared at me.

    On the way home in the car I announced that I would never go to another family dinner in a public place with my Father again. And I didn't for years. My Parents would take my Sister, while I would stay home, old enough to be left on my own.

    It wasn't until I entered the Army, some 7 years later, that I went to a public restaurant with my both Parents again. But then I was actually taking THEM as MY guests. And in fact I revere both their memories, miss them terribly.

    But that behavior was unforgivable. And I know our Mother was furious and had her own words with him about it. You simply don't make an ass out of yourself in public, in front of your spouse and children.