Loose Butt - Gave Me Vibes He Cheated

  • wenpowel2

    Posts: 8

    Sep 25, 2016 11:32 PM GMT
    Hey Guys, I want to tap your experience on a matter
    My bf and i have been together for almost 2 years we had a few rough patches (who doesn't) and one of my challenges is getting him to be open and truthful. He hid a lot out of fear etc.
    Anyway, a couple weeks ago we became long distance again and after the first week away he came back for a three day visit. I didn't top him until the third day which isn't at all typical. He is unfailingly supper tight and he always reminds me of leading in with just a finger and waiting while the muscles relax and it stops its contractions. That is how it always is every time and it’s been years. Also I take an enhancement drug on rare occasion when i want to be my absolute best (read hardest). I was on that on this particular day... i led with my finger and no contractions, in fact it was really loose, then two fingers then entered and it was even loose on that then i inserted my body part, proceeding to do 'it' and i barely felt anything. (and as in a committed relationship we don’t use condoms) Anyway, i eventually slid a finger in in addition to my D and kept it there and he didn't notice during (he asked after) (!!! never could have done that period never mind he would yelp in pain, etc). So yeah, I would never be able to do that under regular circumstances. I mentioned it was a little loose that day and he had said 'oh (he) was trying to clench'... which was an out of place response that tells me he knew it would be loose and to me that felt like a slip of the tongue. Eventually, I went limp and was unable to continue. i tried to talk about it but the conversation led nowhere so I brushed it off and did my best to hide what i was feeling. We went on with life as usual and it was tight again a couple weeks later the next time we were together... But it is still bothering me a lot - I still couldn't finish that other time we were together either. so i need to deal with it. I’ve tried bringing it up twice more. He hasn't said anything reassuring like don’t worry he hasn't cheated or anything. (Also, again, we hadn’t don’t it for a week if anything id expect it to be tight)
    Among the replies I hope to get I hope to hear if anyone in an LTR/or even STR has ever had someone think they were cheating because of sudden looseness or if they have thought that of someone or if anyone has ever experienced that to realize that you or the other person had/had not in fact cheated? To me this scenario seems weird, and no he doesn’t finger himself from what he's said and no he has no toys - besides, this instance would have been a perfect time to mention it if he did - and there's no stigma that would have stopped him from mentioning it.
    Thank you

  • Apparition

    Posts: 4063

    Sep 26, 2016 1:58 AM GMT
    why dont you ask him flat out. hiv and other things are real.
  • wenpowel2

    Posts: 8

    Sep 26, 2016 4:28 AM GMT
    Ekho: the difference is that i have been with him for almost two years and it has never been stretched loose like that at any time before... so suddenly on this occasion it was- so it would make sense that if it was a sign of cheating it would have been with someone with a considerably thicker penis than mine that would have stretched the muscles to a point where the muscles were so loose that the usual resistance that id feel was completely not there. It just has me freaked out and thats the only reason i cant do it because in any normal circumstance my stamina is higher than anyone ive been with with him being by far the closest match
  • wenpowel2

    Posts: 8

    Sep 26, 2016 4:32 AM GMT
    Apparition saidwhy dont you ask him flat out. hiv and other things are real.

    yes it will likely come to that soon. not exactly an easy thing to do when i've been trying to avoid accusing him because if he didn't and its jst super random it isn't exactly a good thing just to do on a whim. but my worries are pretty strong about this. Like I know he has a long history of being somewhat addicted to Grindr, but just a few weeks before he came clean about his last 6 months of usage and we got onto good ground before he left for long distance then suddenly the next visit was like that... I just thought all was well. it was just a week.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3162

    Sep 26, 2016 4:36 AM GMT
    The anal sphincter is not like a vagina. If it were loose (or looser than usual), as you put it, there would likely be a bevy of other health issues present, and it would leak. Maybe he was more relaxed than usual, or not into the moment so he wasn't tightening his pelvic muscles during sex, or what have you. Unless he had literally just taken something else out of his anus, it shouldn't be perceptibly looser, and having anal sex with someone else would not cause looseness. If you suspect he's cheating, talk to him about it, get yourself an STI screening, and start using condoms again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 26, 2016 7:36 AM GMT
    Sounds psychosomatic on your part.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 26, 2016 8:57 AM GMT
    Unless he had come to you from just being freshly fucked by a big dick 10 minutes previously I don't think any looseness can be attributed to cheating.

    That said it doesn't sound like you trust him very much so you need to think about whether this relationship has a future.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 26, 2016 9:15 AM GMT
    Excess stretching CAN loosen the sphincters.
    BUT this is not from a cock. Think about it. Even a "large" cock is not bigger than a "large" piece or poop.
    Using a fist or an oversized dildo could stretch it out temporarily.
    My advice? Just ask him. "Hey, that one time it was looser than normal. What was up with that?" Direct and non-accusatory. Maybe he wore a butt plug while on his way to see you? Maybe he's playing with large toys and is embarrassed to admit it? There are numerous plausible explanations for what happened that don't involve cheating.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Sep 26, 2016 3:50 PM GMT
    Ya, even with a giant dildo or dick, after three days you wouldn't be able to notice. More likely he is using a dildo and learning how to relax the muscle. He may not have figured that out with you because he didn't need to but with a toy, well, the toy isn't getting any pleasure from a tight grip so all that's left is his pain. Long distance relationships are tough. Communication is the only way. But try to erase all suspicions before e you talk to him. Remember, this is the guy you care about. Don't forget that. He's not some random looking to fool you.