Is the Gay male culture of ongoing rampent Promiscuity become unchallengeable?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2016 11:49 PM GMT
    There are a range of views on how many guys are too many it must be acknowledged however bringing up the subject of taking personal responsibility for our sexual activities now is combated by language clearly designed to Ingrain the more promiscuous parts of our culture with made up terms such as "slut shaming" one of the best examples. There are many who don't subscribe to rampant sexual exploits but those voices often are drowned out so Can that trend be reversed at a Community lev?
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Oct 04, 2016 12:49 AM GMT
    No. Why should it be reversed, anyway?
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    Oct 04, 2016 1:27 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    There are a range of views on how many guys are too many it must be acknowledged however bringing up the subject of taking personal responsibility for our sexual activities now is combated by language clearly designed to Ingrain the more promiscuous parts of our culture with made up terms such as "slut shaming" one of the best examples. There are many who don't subscribe to rampant sexual exploits but those voices often are drowned out so Can that trend be reversed at a Community lev?

    Your basic contention is flawed, forming a loaded question. For one thing there's no reliable scientific proof for your claims. In fact, even empirical evidence to support your position is thin.

    For another, one could just as easily postulate that ALL human males have the same sexual urges, both straight and gay. But that gays have more latitude in freely expressing them to a greater degree, because of the absence of traditional societal prohibitions & censures imposed on straights.

    Many of those having to do with female unintended impregnation and expectations for spousal & child support. That are not normally seen to exist as a consequence of same-sex relationships.
  • Leftswiper

    Posts: 90

    Oct 04, 2016 2:11 AM GMT
    Gasp! Slut shaming!

    Haha jk. I totally agree with OP. I've always had an issue with the kneejerk invocations of the term to shut down uncomfortable truths, not too different from the way some SJW types scream sexism and racism at mere facts.

    Fortunately the trend is already reversing. I know gay couples in their late 20's who have been married for 4-5 years. A few younger gays don't even know what Grindr is - they just met their love interests during school and didn't bother playing the field. Lots of gays are content with being part of society; no need for segregated parties, villages, resorts, cruises, etc for them lol
  • Eleven

    Posts: 159

    Oct 04, 2016 2:17 AM GMT
    I dont understand the question
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1147

    Oct 04, 2016 3:00 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThere are a range of views on how many guys are too many it must be acknowledged however bringing up the subject of taking personal responsibility for our sexual activities now is combated by language clearly designed to Ingrain the more promiscuous parts of our culture with made up terms such as "slut shaming" one of the best examples. There are many who don't subscribe to rampant sexual exploits but those voices often are drowned out so Can that trend be reversed at a Community lev?


    Why are you asking and what are you hoping to gain by discussing this? You've divulged in the past that you regularly frequented bathhouses and hook up with men from sites like manhunt.net. So this seems like a very odd question coming from you.
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1144

    Oct 04, 2016 5:07 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThere are a range of views on how many guys are too many it must be acknowledged however bringing up the subject of taking personal responsibility for our sexual activities now is combated by language clearly designed to Ingrain the more promiscuous parts of our culture with made up terms such as "slut shaming" one of the best examples. There are many who don't subscribe to rampant sexual exploits but those voices often are drowned out so Can that trend be reversed at a Community lev?


    If I gave you a chance to be straight, would you take it?
  • metta

    Posts: 39118

    Oct 04, 2016 5:21 AM GMT
    I have never seen the lgbt community totally agree on anything. There is room for everyone: from sex with anything that moves, to open relationships, to polygamy, to monogamy, to celibacy...and everything in between...whatever floats your boat. I don't care what other people do. I don't feel any pressure to fit in any one of the scenarios.
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    Oct 04, 2016 6:11 AM GMT
    Men are pigs. Oink!
    icon_biggrin.gif
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Oct 04, 2016 6:25 AM GMT
    That is really up to the individual, as long as the other part y knows what they are getting into.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Oct 04, 2016 7:51 AM GMT
    Bringing up a subject allows it into the light for thoughtful people to consider. Keeping things unspoken (e.g. 'in the dark'), is how 'isms' (sexism, racism to name two) remain unchallenged. Why would we want to shut down a question that asks men to look at themselves, regardless of whether or not we're straight or gay? Dismissiveness usually comes out of fear: "I don't want to even have to think about that." You'd better, given the environment itself is heading towards catastrophe within the next 50 years, diseases we have no defenses against have increased since the early 80s, and North Korea is developing a missile capable of reaching the US. You think that'll never happen. Ignorance is bliss, right? Until the consequences hit you dead in the face.

    People frequently 'make their own rules' out of ignorance, not enlightenment. Hence, movements to educate: The Suffragettes, The Civil Rights Movement, The Gay Movement. Do you really think people would have thought more about gays had we not brought the harassment and discrimination we faced to their attention? Do you think you'd be able to marry a guy if this hadn't started 40 years ago?? Do you?
    Ignorance might be bliss for some: it is harmful to others. The question seemed thoughtful. Plus, the fact that it was not issued by an American, might just be reason to see it from a different perspective. Our brothers from other cultures are not as blinded by our so-called "freedom" as Americans are. Americans are as free to be jerks as they are to be good people, and it should be evident, based on the 2016 elections, there are enormous numbers of those who don't want to face anything unpleasant. Lets not add fool to the fire in here.

    P.S. Men 'like to fuck' is how the AIDS crisis spread. I was in San Francisco many years before it started, but even after it was known that there was a virus going around, many of my friends pooh-poohed my entreaties to them to be more circumspect in their sexual activity. They are all dead. To a man. And now there are even deadlier, non-sexually transmitted diseases around.
    These are the lyrics from En Vogue's song 'Free Your Mind' (1992 for those of you too young to remember).

    "Prejudice, wrote a song about it.
    Like to hear it? Here it go.
    I wear tight clothing, high heeled shoes
    It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute, no no
    I like rap music, wear hip hop clothes
    That doesn't mean that I'm out sellin' dope no no
    Oh my forgive me for having straight hair, no
    It doesn't mean there's another blood in my heir yeah yeah
    I might date another race or color
    It doesn't mean I don't like my strong black brothers.
    Why oh why must it be this way
    Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me, I said
    Free your mind and the rest will follow
    Be color blind, don't be so shallow.
    Free your mind and the rest will follow
    Be color blind, don't be so shallow
    "

    Words to live by.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Oct 04, 2016 9:57 AM GMT
    There is really no reason for any community, least of all LGTB to concern itself with my own expression of my sexuality.

    What two or more consenting adults do with reasonable expectation of privacy is not a community matter of any kind at all!

    SC
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    Oct 04, 2016 10:35 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidMen are pigs. Oink!
    icon_biggrin.gif


    ^^This. I understand you completely OP. Just because you can stick your penis in everything that moves doesn't mean you should. Seems to me that when you talk with people they long for meaningful relationships but can't ever get there because of the hook up culture. This isn't unique to gays though. I think it's sad that people don't want to take the time to get to know someone. They just want instant gratification. To me personally, of course I've hooked up but it doesn't do much for me. Half of sex is mental so sticking your penis in a hole or having some random penis penetrate you leaves you wanting some real connection and in my opinion real sex.
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    Oct 04, 2016 3:13 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThere are a range of views on how many guys are too many


    Indeed there are. Lots of gay men want monogamous relationships; and lots don't. A lot of men are very happily single, and enjoy sex with many partners over time. I would suggest OP, that you concern yourself with yourself, rather trying to impose some kind of morality on others. Thankfully, the Victorian era morality (no sex until marriage, and from then on, only with a spouse) is gone at least in the developed world (excepting some religious communities). And good riddance to it.

    "Voices being drowned out"? Thank dog. Voices trying to impose some kind of sexual morality on others ought to be drowned out. There will always be tons of guys who are more monogamous than not, and who are not on Grindr-type apps. No one is forcing you to be on Grndr, or to have sex with promiscuous men.

    And as to mcbrion's concern that men refused to give up promiscuous ways in the face of the AIDS epidemic - most of the men who got AIDS early on were already doomed, having been infected years before. They were going to die anyway, no matter what they did. Most men started using condoms after it first became known that it was a sexually transmitted disease. That at least prevented them from infecting others, even if they were already doomed themselves. Today, some guys use condoms, and some don't. Those that don't are assuming the risks. There has always been the risks of STDs from sex - some deadly and some minor - Hell, syphilis used to a universally fatal disease - but that did not stop people from having sex. But for everyone to give up sexual exploration because of some morality concept? How boring life would be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2016 5:07 PM GMT
    monogamy is possible but will miss several gold star generations
    Boomers maybe 45%
    GenX maybe 50%
    Millennials 55%

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    Oct 04, 2016 7:38 PM GMT
    You raise interesting questions but it's probably too early to tell whether rampant promiscuity will ever become less ingrained in the gay-male culture. Maybe over time as same-sex marriage becomes more common, the faddishness of hook-up apps wears off, and guys come to see the downsides of rampant promiscuity there will be a movement toward more traditional dating and marriage norms. Time will tell.
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    Oct 04, 2016 8:04 PM GMT
    swimmersf saidYou raise interesting questions but it's probably too early to tell whether rampant promiscuity will ever become less ingrained in the gay-male culture. Maybe over time as same-sex marriage becomes more common, the faddishness of hook-up apps wears off, and guys come to see the downsides of rampant promiscuity there will be a movement toward more traditional dating and marriage norms. Time will tell.


    Not sure if gay marriage will have much of an impact on homosexuals sluting about.
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    Oct 04, 2016 8:15 PM GMT
    zoltar said
    bon_pan saidMen are pigs. Oink!
    icon_biggrin.gif


    ^^This. I understand you completely OP. Just because you can stick your penis in everything that moves doesn't mean you should. Seems to me that when you talk with people they long for meaningful relationships but can't ever get there because of the hook up culture. This isn't unique to gays though. I think it's sad that people don't want to take the time to get to know someone. They just want instant gratification. To me personally, of course I've hooked up but it doesn't do much for me. Half of sex is mental so sticking your penis in a hole or having some random penis penetrate you leaves you wanting some real connection and in my opinion real sex.


    True dat. Much better with a guy you at least like.
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    Oct 06, 2016 5:47 PM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow saidI have a suspicion that the OP was either a total slut in his youth and now has an incurable disease and is on a crusade (sort of like ex smokers) or no one wants to sleep with him and he's jealous.

    I think straight culture is promiscuous also.


    I have no diseases at all, I can prove it and I get tested every 3 months without fail. I have a reputation as a 'serial monogamist' though I have of more recent times been much more sexually active with hook ups in the past. Your choice of profile name is very apt because it seems you have bought into the 'trauma reaction' many gay particularly of the baby boomer and the first half of the Generation X many of whom experienced Gay life through hook ups and bathhouses and beats because their sexuality in their youth was stunted by the threat of legal sanctions (sodomy laws) and massive discrimination in all parts of society, not to mention the con stent threat of physical harm if they dared to express their sexuality in public.

    Since that time Gay men have had an increasingly improved lifestyle of being able to express themselves and with ever decreasing fear of facing problems for expressing their sexuality. It's still not perfect for all, not pretending it is so, just saying much better than before.

    As a result of living in that era through those times where opportunities to mix with other gay men for many was limited to breif sexual encounters. This information is well known and applied to all but a few and the reaction of some of these men was that as society refuses to accept my sexuality at all, their is no obligation to live life by the rules of the oppressors. Young gay Millenials have not experienced this and have chosen a different path, in other words they are more accepted so they seek to live by the mores of their society they live in and there choice is as valid as any other. Many older men who perceive themselves or are past their prime, want to make up for lost time or simply recent the way that those younger than them don't understand what they had to go through. They perceive younger generations as apathetic and cling to a version of the limitations forced on them during their youth and many long to be able to experience the acceptance they didn't have, so in order to ensure that the majority of gay men agree with their mindset, any discussion other than "Men are men, that's just the way we are" ect and employ words such as "slut shaming" to control or at least reduce any tendency of the mainstream of Gay men to question the long held notion that Gay men should sleep around or their is something wrong with them. My topic I posted is to get people thinking, not to judge also to give a voice to many who are sick of the runaround of the hook up world, or endless open relationships which only work for the very few.

    If you don't like what I am saying, your probably one of the traumitised and deserve support not condemnation. I hear more critisism of people who want monogamy, or downright condescension than I ever ever heard any slut shaming. Lots of hypocrisy abound regarding this and You could even say that about me. What it won't do is change me right to ask questions about why do we just accept cultural attitudes from the past without examining their ongoing relavence. I'm talking about the need to be banging every guy we can or being left to feel inadequate if we don't want to do that. I respect all opinions but don't think that the reality of change will just go away because you try to shout down the views of others especially when they are not judging your choices
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    Oct 06, 2016 9:24 PM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow said
    mcbrion saidBringing up a subject allows it into the light for thoughtful people to consider. Keeping things unspoken (e.g. 'in the dark'), is how 'isms' (sexism, racism to name two) remain unchallenged. Why would we want to shut down a question that asks men to look at themselves, regardless of whether or not we're straight or gay? Dismissiveness usually comes out of fear: "I don't want to even have to think about that." You'd better, given the environment itself is heading towards catastrophe within the next 50 years, diseases we have no defenses against have increased since the early 80s, and North Korea is developing a missile capable of reaching the US. You think that'll never happen. Ignorance is bliss, right? Until the consequences hit you dead in the face.

    People frequently 'make their own rules' out of ignorance, not enlightenment. Hence, movements to educate: The Suffragettes, The Civil Rights Movement, The Gay Movement. Do you really think people would have thought more about gays had we not brought the harassment and discrimination we faced to their attention? Do you think you'd be able to marry a guy if this hadn't started 40 years ago?? Do you?
    Ignorance might be bliss for some: it is harmful to others. The question seemed thoughtful. Plus, the fact that it was not issued by an American, might just be reason to see it from a different perspective. Our brothers from other cultures are not as blinded by our so-called "freedom" as Americans are. Americans are as free to be jerks as they are to be good people, and it should be evident, based on the 2016 elections, there are enormous numbers of those who don't want to face anything unpleasant. Lets not add fool to the fire in here.

    P.S. Men 'like to fuck' is how the AIDS crisis spread. I was in San Francisco many years before it started, but even after it was known that there was a virus going around, many of my friends pooh-poohed my entreaties to them to be more circumspect in their sexual activity. They are all dead. To a man. And now there are even deadlier, non-sexually transmitted diseases around.
    These are the lyrics from En Vogue's song 'Free Your Mind' (1992 for those of you too young to remember).

    "Prejudice, wrote a song about it.
    Like to hear it? Here it go.
    I wear tight clothing, high heeled shoes
    It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute, no no
    I like rap music, wear hip hop clothes
    That doesn't mean that I'm out sellin' dope no no
    Oh my forgive me for having straight hair, no
    It doesn't mean there's another blood in my heir yeah yeah
    I might date another race or color
    It doesn't mean I don't like my strong black brothers.
    Why oh why must it be this way
    Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me, I said
    Free your mind and the rest will follow
    Be color blind, don't be so shallow.
    Free your mind and the rest will follow
    Be color blind, don't be so shallow
    "

    Words to live by.


    Oh cool! So I guess we can discuss whether The Black Male Culture Of Ongoing Rampent [sic] Promiscuity Is Become Unchallengeable?


    Why oh why must it be this way - (free your mind En Vogue) same song you are using out of context. As I said, there is a tendency for men who went through the early years struggles to sub-consciously react to their past rather looking at things in the present. I am well aware of the past struggles of men who were gay. The GL Mardi Gras was a protest for the first few years and later became a celebration, most Sydney guys and gals know that. Hard decisions will have to be made and those who choose other paths will always be around, however I'm suggesting that the present culture is still rooted in a hippy free love culture of a by gone era. Some will agree some won't, but getting those who don't to think about it at least may help everyone in the longer term
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Oct 07, 2016 12:22 AM GMT
    Leftswiper saidGasp! Slut shaming!

    Haha jk. I totally agree with OP. I've always had an issue with the kneejerk invocations of the term to shut down uncomfortable truths, not too different from the way some SJW types scream sexism and racism at mere facts.

    Fortunately the trend is already reversing. I know gay couples in their late 20's who have been married for 4-5 years. A few younger gays don't even know what Grindr is - they just met their love interests during school and didn't bother playing the field. Lots of gays are content with being part of society; no need for segregated parties, villages, resorts, cruises, etc for them lol


    I doubt they haven't heard of Grindr - gay culture loves to shove the sluttiness down everyone's throat. But I know many gays who are aware of Grindr but haven't ever used it.

    If you embrace promiscuity, the gay community cheers you on and wants more to follow suit - because it feels less wrong if everyone's doing it. If you're a committment-type guy, we don't want to hear about it because it's judgmental! rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 07, 2016 12:38 AM GMT
    Well being gay is your sexuality in general. When gay men get together and make a culture out of it they hook up with each other in the process. Our sex life is demonized across the world one way or the other. It doesn't define you nor does it make you any more promiscuous than the average man.
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    Oct 09, 2016 10:13 PM GMT
    UMayNeverKnow saidSo you're saying gay men of a certain age are sluts because they lived through the gay persecution?


    No, I'm not saying that, I'm saying that while not all of them re. Sluts all of the defend the rights as they perceive to be a slut and will shut down debate about the subject due to their experiences during their youth even though by their actions they don't believe being a slut is good for them personally.its culturally ingrained that there shouldn't be any challege even from well meaning educated men within our community.its an us against them mentality.
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    Oct 09, 2016 11:59 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    UMayNeverKnow saidSo you're saying gay men of a certain age are sluts because they lived through the gay persecution?


    No, I'm not saying that, I'm saying that while not all of them re. Sluts all of the defend the rights as they perceive to be a slut and will shut down debate about the subject due to their experiences during their youth even though by their actions they don't believe being a slut is good for them personally.its culturally ingrained that there shouldn't be any challege even from well meaning educated men within our community.its an us against them mentality.


    Syd, this is why you are an idiot!
    1) First you say ".... our sexual activities now is combated by language clearly designed to Ingrain the more promiscuous parts of our culture with made up terms such as "slut shaming".....
    2) then you say: " . Sluts all of the(m?) defend the rights as they perceive to be.....will shut down debate....."

    So you denigrate anyone who says the are slut-shamed, but it's OK for you to call them SLUTS!?????"

    You just explained "BULLY" logic. You and you alone define the topic, the range and the outcome.

  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 261

    Oct 10, 2016 12:48 AM GMT
    A slut by definition is someone who is promiscuous and enjoys lots of casual sex. It can be a good or bad thing depending on who you ask; but the word itself has become neutral, as evidenced by slut-walks worldwide.

    People who complain about fat-shaming never deny being fat. People who object to slut-shaming shouldn't deny being sluts. If you don't own it, you're perpetuating the shame.