Move Over Fag Hag, There's Something Meatier: Bromosexuals

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    Oct 05, 2016 12:44 AM GMT
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    NYT: Obviously, there have always been friendships between gay men and straight men, but only recently have they become more prominently, and comfortably, represented in TV shows, movies, books and blogs.

    There is often a traditionally masculine sense of familiarity at play in these portrayals, exuding a feeling particular enough to suggest its own term: bromosexual relationships.

    Their emerging representation contrasts with one that has become a cliché: the connection between a straight woman and her gay male best friend.

    Vin Testa, 26, a math teacher in Washington, D.C., who is also an L.G.B.T. liaison for the district’s public schools, said the changes in relationships between straight and gay men have been so rapid that he sees a significant difference just since he graduated from high school. One of his greatest obstacles in coming out, he said, was something he thinks many gay men share: “the intense fear of losing those masculine friendships we have had.”

    For men of an older generation, there is more distrust to surmount. “Our traditional way of thinking of relationships with gay and straight men is that they are hostile, even bullying,” said Michael LaSala, 57, the author of “Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child.” “For that reason, gay men have traditionally not felt comfortable in these relationships.”

    Mr. LaSala, who is gay, said he could not imagine being close friends with a straight man when he was in his 20s. In the last few years, however, he has formed a warm bond with Dr. Robert Garfield, 70, a straight man who wrote the book “Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship.” The two lecture together on the negative effects of homophobia on straight and gay males.

    For gay men, Mr. LaSala said: “friendships with straight men can be very healing. When you experience a close friendship with a straight guy and that person is very accepting, it’s a balm for some old wounds.”

    At the same time, striking contrasts exist in the two worlds. Gay men say it is common for their heterosexual male friends to be jealous of, or at least compelled by, the efficiency and seeming ubiquity of man-on-man hookups.

    “Straight guys complain, ‘You can just meet a guy and go home and have sex,’” Mr. Toussaint said. “One hot straight guy I know complains, ‘With a girl, I have to take her out and put on all these airs, when all I want to do is sleep with her and move on.’”

    On the other side, some gay men express jealousy over certain aspects of heterosexual male presentation. “Straight guys can let themselves go and no one cares,” Mr. Gregory said. “Gay men are judging each other worse than women in terms of body shaming.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/07/fashion/mens-style/gay-straight-men-friendship.html?
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    Oct 05, 2016 2:30 AM GMT
    my straight friend Trent is like a brother to me and it transcends how handsome he is and into how awesome he is and he has had a pretty significant impact on my life and how I think actually ha
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    Oct 05, 2016 6:26 AM GMT
    After giving back ones Gay Card, and going back out into the real world to live and work. One mounth working in a Gay Bathhouse nering the end of the Gay Plauge Era, and two months latter back in the bush working as a lumberjack. The majority of my friends and mates have been hetrosexual, and I would not have it any other way. All the gay friends one had in the past seem superficial, to the mates one has now.
  • Eleven

    Posts: 159

    Oct 05, 2016 6:47 AM GMT
    I love my friends, im like their black gay friend rolled into one, I make their photos look good
  • xxxlalphatank

    Posts: 37

    Oct 05, 2016 7:04 AM GMT
    Eleven saidI love my friends, im like their black gay friend rolled into one, I make their photos look good


    bro - that sentence, I think I may just love you now
  • xxxlalphatank

    Posts: 37

    Oct 05, 2016 7:09 AM GMT
    I always comment how I have no gay mates, gays never seem to like me.

    I know most will say its because of sentences like the above but that's just the way I speak and I don't change or apologise for no man.

    Cool thing here is I now have a few gay buds I speak with.

    I often joke to my straight pals, especially my closest bro who is such a damn player, that they are the gay ones. Normally as I have them in a headlock or pinned in a corner or slung over my shoulder as I threaten to bog flush them
  • eM_Jay

    Posts: 90

    Oct 05, 2016 9:24 AM GMT
    My 'bro' and i are incredibly close and i love the relationship we have. In the short three years we've known one another we've developed a bond that's been really good for me atleast (though i know the same is true for him). Before i had some resentment towards heteros since i had a horrible coming-out situation, and he was also homophobic actually. But becoming friends let us both get alot of stuff out and move on. Now we share everything, understand eachother, he's had my back from day one and I his, to the point where haters have come up from every other corner, but that just made us closer cause we're both not willing to settle anymore. We often joke that our relationship might be borderline obsessively co-dependant, but atleast we both know we have a bestfriend ready to be the other's safety net whenever shit happens. That's way better than any other 'relationships' either of us had in the past, be it with love-interests or other friendships gone wrong. The love my bro and I have is way more than blood or sex could ever produce, and nothing could be better. Ofcourse gay+straight will have some pro/con mixes thrown in there. Like im kinda jealous he gets serious relationships easier (in my opp) and he's admitted he'd love the freedom gays have with one another rather than him jumping through hoops for a little fun. But anyway... *sidenote* We're eachothers perfect 'trophies' and have fun with it all the time (me-black, gay, nerdy +him-white, straight, meathead jock) . Makes for pretty good barrier-breakers when we're with other people icon_smile.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Oct 05, 2016 9:37 AM GMT
    The key factor in the rising prominence of the friendships among str8 and gay males is the disappearing of the stigma attached to being gay these days. Few people will really go around badmouthing anyone for being gay (or worse). Hence, the old 'guilt by association' is really no more an issue to the extent it used to be in the past.

    So, guys maintain their male friendships with a degree of openness that may be a novelty to some.

    The other issue plaguing str8 males used to be the incessant policing of your masculinity by all the males around. If a dude experimented once or twice and got caught, he was branded 'gay' and knew that he would never quite get rid of this, regardless of his actual sexual orientation. Male heterosexuality has always been such a fragile concept... This policing behavior among many men is now receding.

    SC
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    Oct 05, 2016 1:12 PM GMT
    Perhaps some Broners will happen.
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    Oct 05, 2016 3:13 PM GMT
    only reason i pay even the slightest attention to anyone these days is if:
    -they know something worthy i do not.
    -they are polite.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 05, 2016 4:31 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidThe key factor in the rising prominence of the friendships among str8 and gay males is the disappearing of the stigma attached to being gay these days. Few people will really go around badmouthing anyone for being gay (or worse). Hence, the old 'guilt by association' is really no more an issue to the extent it used to be in the past.

    So, guys maintain their male friendships with a degree of openness that may be a novelty to some.

    The other issue plaguing str8 males used to be the incessant policing of your masculinity by all the males around. If a dude experimented once or twice and got caught, he was branded 'gay' and knew that he would never quite get rid of this, regardless of his actual sexual orientation. Male heterosexuality has always been such a fragile concept... This policing behavior among many men is now receding.



    SC


    I think it is a combination of this and the simple fact that a lot of guys have come out in the last few years that no one thought of as gay. And the friendships just continued.

    I remember a book written by some girl about ten years ago in which she was able to pass as a guy and move about in the world of straight men as a guy. She said invariably, the guys were easy and friendly and competitive but only in games, not actually with each other. Which she said was a contrast with women who were manipulative and competitive with each other to gain ascendency over each other. I was thinking of that yesterday with Kim and her stolen shiny rocks.

    The extended article^^^ also had a quote that I laughed out loud over from a straight guy saying a gay guy made the perfect wing man to go to bars with. Makes sense!
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    Oct 06, 2016 4:07 AM GMT
    "For gay men, Mr. LaSala said: “friendships with straight men can be very healing. When you experience a close friendship with a straight guy and that person is very accepting, it’s a balm for some old wounds.”

    What's interesting about this line is that it is straight (no pun intended) out of the "make them straight" therapy groups. Strong friendships with masculine straight males has always been part of the thought of how to help "heal" a person with same sex attraction. The difference here I guess is the idea that the straight man is "accepting" of the gay guy being gay, not just accepting of helping him "deal" with his same sex attraction.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Oct 06, 2016 7:21 AM GMT
    I was never the type that liked hanging out with the "fag hag". Some gay men are always seen hanging all over a women but that does nothing for me when they do that.
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    Oct 06, 2016 2:25 PM GMT
    I feel soooo turned around hanging out with a straight man.


    I mean if you could choose to do anything you wanted but you were there with a straight guy. His bad breath and all.

    Granted; more productive than hanging out with my husbands fag hags.
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 280

    Oct 06, 2016 7:19 PM GMT
    Some straight women can be good friends. Other straight women can be annoying and insensitive twats.

    There have been times when I've told girlfriends that I'm meeting up with a male friend, and they get excited and interested thinking that it's a hookup, and then when i say it's a straight bloke, they get disappointed.

    It is a GOOD thing that I have straight male friends who aren't bothered by my sexuality and feel comfortable hanging around with me. I don't just want to be surrounded by gay men that wanna shag me and straight women who want to hear all about my sex life so they can get off to the thought of me banging some hot guy.

    I love being mates with straight blokes (and lesbians) who will talk about all kinds of subjects and share all kinds of interests with me, without judging what I do sexually. Surely that's what reaching a state of equality is all about.
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    Oct 07, 2016 5:30 AM GMT
    That's interesting.
    Btw, I thought bromance also applied to two straight guys who are very close to each other (the way girl friends usually are) and display their affection with no shame. Am I really wrong?

    Well, after I realized I was gay - around 13 - I don't think I've had any straight guy friends. Suddenly they all seemed so terrifying to me. I don't know exactly why although I have some guesses. Anyways, it was sort of a choice of mine...
    I don't think it is a big deal for a gay guy to have a straight "bro". Even here in Brazil... No one cares about such things these days.
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1145

    Oct 08, 2016 7:23 PM GMT
    pellaz saidonly reason i pay even the slightest attention to anyone these days is if:
    -they know something worthy i do not.
    -they are polite.


    I don't actually don't believe in homosexuality, or at least not in the way people think of it at the moment. The inducement of homosexuality for most gay males might just be an issue of having a lack of visual receptivity to titanium dioxide as it's applied to the skin, especially on another person's face. Other minerals also contribute to the lack of visual receptivity but titanium dioxide's refractive and iridescent qualities makes it stand out as something that fundamentally alters the appearance of woman's face , and because of it's universal adoption by women since the 1930's, has unintentionally induced homosexuality for the majority of self-identified gay men.

    Just as a random example of Cobie Smulders illustrates this point (I'll use her again later as she uses different kinds and different combinations of makeup, and different levels of titanium dioxide over time and one could sort of test how visually receptive they are to her face).

    From her early 20's with no titanium dioxide on her face (she only has lipstick on):
    Cobie-Smulders-Ohne-Make-up-2.jpg
    5793c486d38a7a0a6c2ec24608be130c.jpg
    cobie_smulders_veritas_2002_press_tourg_

    And a few pictures with some level of titanium dioxide during her 20's (like on How I Met Your Mother):
    Cobie-Smulders-Sa%C3%A7-Modelleri-2.jpg
    5-03-Robin-101-robin-scherbatsky-1456403
    robin.jpg

    In so-called straight porn, people need to realize that the levels of titanium dioxide on women, and not just on their faces, far exceeds what the typical women would wear. This can also include the vast majority of bikini beach photoshoots. Anyways, Cobie Smulders with her own "porn look":
    cobie%252Bsmulders.jpg
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    Oct 08, 2016 8:24 PM GMT
    ^

    your theory is complete nonsense since most guys know they are gay since early childhood and are attracted to same age peers, same goes for heterosexuals when no one even uses make up.
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1145

    Dec 01, 2016 7:01 AM GMT
    Bonaparts said^

    your theory is complete nonsense since most guys know they are gay since early childhood and are attracted to same age peers, same goes for heterosexuals when no one even uses make up.


    Just want to warn you that I can destroy what you believe about yourself and your identity in a blink of a second... But should I do this given your limits of mind and the difficulty that will come from processing this? And you should know that most girls, even before puberty, and even before they do anything with mascara, eyeliner or even blush, have discovered for themselves the refractive properties of titanium dioxide (and/or zinc oxide).
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1145

    Dec 01, 2016 7:08 AM GMT
    If I can think of a benefit of a Donald Trump presidency it might be that titanium dioxide usage finally comes to the forefront. I'm the only one to have realized this, but I'm going to introduce the idea to some Russian trolls just to see how that information flows to a President Trump. I think I could even invent goggles/glasses that can see through a woman's use of titanium dioxide and it will be as if I was Roddy Piper's character in the movie They Live.

    PS: Some HD cameras can actually see through titanium dioxide, but not through zinc oxide.
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    Dec 01, 2016 7:14 AM GMT
    Unnamed6 said
    Bonaparts said^

    your theory is complete nonsense since most guys know they are gay since early childhood and are attracted to same age peers, same goes for heterosexuals when no one even uses make up.


    Just want to warn you that I can destroy what you believe about yourself and your identity in a blink of a second... But should I do this given your limits of mind and the difficulty that will come from processing this? And you should know that most girls, even before puberty, and even before they do anything with mascara, eyeliner or even blush, have discovered for themselves the refractive properties of titanium dioxide (and/or zinc oxide).


    i don't know in which prostitution bordel you live, but where I live children don't use make up, maybe you are into children with make up, love a child with a make up eh?

    What about guys who use titanium oxide moisturizers everyday? You probably are that retarded, that you don't know guys use sunscreens as well, those gays are blocking their sexuality as well eh? And al those women who use make up and are married is just an exception in your stupid eyes

    By the way I have noticed that you talk so MUCH CRAP around here, MOST OF WHAT YOU SAY IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2016 7:26 AM GMT
    Unnamed6 saidIf I can think of a benefit of a Donald Trump presidency it might be that titanium dioxide usage finally comes to the forefront. I'm the only one to have realized this, but I'm going to introduce the idea to some Russian trolls just to see how that information flows to a President Trump. I think I could even invent goggles/glasses that can see through a woman's use of titanium dioxide and it will be as if I was Roddy Piper's character in the movie They Live.

    PS: Some HD cameras can actually see through titanium dioxide, but not through zinc oxide.


    MentalFloss.gif
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1145

    Dec 01, 2016 8:05 AM GMT
    Bonaparts said
    Unnamed6 said
    Bonaparts said^

    your theory is complete nonsense since most guys know they are gay since early childhood and are attracted to same age peers, same goes for heterosexuals when no one even uses make up.


    Just want to warn you that I can destroy what you believe about yourself and your identity in a blink of a second... But should I do this given your limits of mind and the difficulty that will come from processing this? And you should know that most girls, even before puberty, and even before they do anything with mascara, eyeliner or even blush, have discovered for themselves the refractive properties of titanium dioxide (and/or zinc oxide).


    i don't know in which prostitution bordel you live, but where I live children don't use make up, maybe you are into children with make up, love a child with a make up eh?


    You don't give respect where respect is due but that may be because what constitutes you (blood, spirit, genes, genealogy, etc) have never known nobility or encountered nobility... At least blacks are highly receptive to any respect given to them and can respond with deference, or even docility, and I'm talking about big grown men at times. You need to understand that you and that other Slav (confused him for a Hapa once and he might still be a Slav anyway...) are far too vocal in your racism and I think it needs to be brought a notched down or I might just have to destroy what you believe about yourself (and inadvertently do that to others as well). I've actually been playing the "leave people to their own ignorance and devices" mindset but if every other post that comes out of you is trying to make up for your own inferiority complex (can you name one noble thing you've ever done in your life, let alone that of your ancestors? Since what you say is incompatible with basic decency, I doubt it). Still, I expect the best out of a person like you but I do agree with Hitler on many things he says about a person like you, and will of course greatly differ from him in that I will never seek your extermination as a people (nonetheless my judgement on your people might be technically worse than Hitler's as you guys have identified with people that wanted nothing to do with you, to the point of even seeking your extermination, and that type of mindset exceeds the messed up mindsets of every other messed up group...I thought Filipino's colonial mindset was bad, but this qualifies as even worse...).

    Anyways...the use of foundation is not considered makeup by many women, and if a woman is going "makeup free" she would still be using a product that contains titanium dioxide on her face, as it's a very common ingredient in the sunscreen, lotion and moisturizers that women seek to use. And many mothers also socialize or steer their daughters (if not mothers, a girl's friends) into using foundation or other titanium dioxide containing products in order to ensure that they look girly. As I said, the human face does not defer between males and females and any scientific study purporting to measure differences is pseudoscience at it's finest. So if you're saying that you're not attracted to the raw female face of your own kind (Slavs), that would mean that you also don't find Slavic male faces attractive as well. Is that what you're trying to say or have you confused any and all use of titanium dioxide beyond foundation as a "no makeup" look?
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1145

    Dec 01, 2016 8:27 AM GMT
    And let's be clear, whatever you want to say about black people, as it concerns the British and Germans, they associate a face like yours with the face of crime (even if you guys aren't doing crime...), not Muslims (and this in spite of Russian propaganda trying to say such that you and many others foolishly take in).
  • ANTiSociaLiNJ...

    Posts: 1160

    Dec 01, 2016 8:36 AM GMT
    Bonaparts said

    MentalFloss.gif


    LOL! I love this animated gif. So appropriate. icon_lol.gif