Another soldier for Christ (and friend of Jerry Falwell) dies of auto-erotic asphyxiation while wearing two wet suits and rubber underwear housing a butt plug.

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    Oct 10, 2007 2:17 AM GMT
    From the Smoking Gun:

    "OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge's two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister's rubber briefs. Aldridge served as the church's pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ."

    You can read the entire autopsy report here:

    http://tinyurl.com/22rbcb
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    Oct 10, 2007 2:45 AM GMT
    ROTFL - Wow! I am totally put off ever wearing my wetsuit again....

    Ewwwww!
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    Oct 10, 2007 2:57 AM GMT
    He must have been inspired by that last (leather) supper poster you posted doc.
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    Oct 10, 2007 2:57 AM GMT
    Um... OK, I have two wetsuits, and a vulcanized rubber drysuit, but that's NOT what they're for!

    And really, a butt plug just makes sense when diving in a dry suit. Accidental farting can cause sudden un-planned changes in buoyancy!
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    Oct 10, 2007 2:59 AM GMT
    A&F: Yes, I linked to this thread from that one to demonstrate that the poster might contain more truth than anyone knew.

    Speaking of our Lord and Savior, where the fuck is McGay? His profile and posts have vanished.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:00 AM GMT
    I think he was raptured ..

    bless his little black heart icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:01 AM GMT
    And we're stuck here??
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:03 AM GMT
    yep!! it is the punishment of the damned
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:04 AM GMT
    Do we still get to perform sodomy or is that only for the raptured?
  • Alan95823

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    Oct 10, 2007 3:05 AM GMT
    I'm afraid if I start laughing I might not stop. What a horrible bizarre way to die.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:09 AM GMT
    Yes doc, the raptured go one way, the ruptured the other.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:11 AM GMT
    "Yes doc, the raptured go one way, the ruptured the other."

    I told you I'd be gentle.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:13 AM GMT
    Well if you are gentle that means you are meek and go straight to heaven. No sodomy for you!!
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:16 AM GMT
    Alan95823I'm afraid if I start laughing I might not stop. What a horrible bizarre way to die.

    Alan, fear not, laughing is not bizarre and has not been attributed to death as far as I know .. so just let 'er rip.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:18 AM GMT
    "Well if you are gentle that means you are meek and go straight to heaven. No sodomy for you!!"

    You need to re-read the beatitudes. The meek inherit the earth. I think the poor get the kingdom of god.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:23 AM GMT
    see this is why a spotter is very important.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:24 AM GMT
    Doc, you have to finish the book(s). In the end, it is made clear that "THAT" earth for the meek is NEW HEAVEN AND EARTH.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:30 AM GMT
    .... conveniently located in the Andromeda galaxy.

    (I have two wetsuits too: a 5/3 for winter, a 3/2 for summer. But ewwww!)
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:56 AM GMT
    "Doc, you have to finish the book(s). In the end, it is made clear that "THAT" earth for the meek is NEW HEAVEN AND EARTH."

    What? I'm supposed to have my penis in one place and my head in another? Where does it say that? I think you're interpreting.
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    Oct 10, 2007 3:57 AM GMT
    "(I have two wetsuits too: a 5/3 for winter, a 3/2 for summer. But ewwww!)"

    That makes you a very good Christian, Tim. Now, tell us about the anal flotation device.
  • liftordie

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    Oct 10, 2007 4:00 AM GMT
    my mother always taught me to wear clean underwear in case i was ever in an accident. what the hell was his mother teaching him?!?!?!?!icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 10, 2007 4:02 AM GMT
    OW: Thankfully, I'm an atheist :-P
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    Oct 10, 2007 4:05 AM GMT
    ObscenewishWhat? I'm supposed to have my penis in one place and my head in another? Where does it say that? I think you're interpreting.

    Normally I would think your head would be where someone elses' penis is, but as far as the heavenly realm there is no male or female so you have to loose the penis doc. sorry.

    Oh, here is what it says ..

    Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. Rev. 21:1

    yikes!! no more beach either
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    Oct 10, 2007 4:10 AM GMT
    A&F: You are confusing me. Where in Matthew do it say that the meek shall inherit the new heaven and earth?

    Tim: Sorry, but if it wears a wetsuit like a Christian, it is a Christian.
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    Oct 10, 2007 4:13 AM GMT
    TigerTim.... conveniently located in the Andromeda galaxy.

    Thats possible timmy .. here is what the bible says ..
    I will exalt my throne above the stars of God;
    I will also sit on the mount of the congregation
    On the farthest sides of the north

    Thats at least where the devil said God was .. There could be an address change though!! So if Andromeda is in the north it could be ..