Death of Mothers, Death of Last Living Parent

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2016 6:03 PM GMT
    The body of my last living parent, my mother, is shutting down.
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    Nov 10, 2016 6:06 PM GMT
    Last Friday I sang every religious song (hymn/solo/choir) I could recall. (Smile: a little concert)

    Yesterday, she did not have the strength to use a straw and took a very long time to eat one blueberry.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Nov 10, 2016 6:11 PM GMT
    Very sorry to hear. Peace to her and to you.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2613

    Nov 13, 2016 9:32 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear your news. I cared for my mother during the last five years of her life.
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    Nov 14, 2016 7:42 PM GMT
    My mother, dear to me, died yesterday.
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    Nov 14, 2016 7:43 PM GMT
    Lincsbear saidSorry to hear your news. I cared for my mother during the last five years of her life.


    You have my deep respect, Lincsbear.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Nov 14, 2016 10:26 PM GMT
    Condolences.
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    Nov 14, 2016 10:30 PM GMT
    StephenOABC said
    My mother, dear to me, died yesterday.

    My condolences. icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 14, 2016 10:40 PM GMT
    Lincsbear said
    Sorry to hear your news. I cared for my mother during the last five years of her life.

    Wow, a long time. I only took care of my Father for his last 6 weeks.

    Came to Florida right after his first heart attack. He had 5 more, the tough old bird, bless him, took the 6th to bring the final curtain. I had to save him a few times, even resorting to CPR. On your own Father that's tough.

    Watching him die wasn't easy. True with a parent, true with my first partner. And I would think true with any other human.

    It's the way I think Nature made us. To care for each other, and of course more so for our family, and our friends. And to feel their loss more. So I can have a great deal of empathy for you, as can other guys here.

    Take comfort in knowing you had that time with her, as I did with my Dad, made her happy, and you did the honorable thing.
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    Nov 20, 2016 5:09 PM GMT
    StephenOABC saidMy mother, dear to me, died yesterday.


    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss icon_cry.gif *hugs*
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2613

    Nov 20, 2016 9:56 PM GMT
    StephenOABC saidMy mother, dear to me, died yesterday.

    You have my sympathy.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2613

    Nov 20, 2016 10:42 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]art_deco said[/cite]
    Lincsbear said
    Sorry to hear your news. I cared for my mother during the last five years of her life.

    Wow, a long time. I only took care of my Father for his last 6 weeks.

    Came to Florida right after his first heart attack. He had 5 more, the tough old bird, bless him, took the 6th to bring the final curtain. I had to save him a few times, even resorting to CPR. On your own Father that's tough.

    Watching him die wasn't easy. True with a parent, true with my first partner. And I would think true with any other human.

    It's the way I think Nature made us. To care for each other, and of course more so for our family, and our friends. And to feel their loss more. So I can have a great deal of empathy for you, as can other guys here.

    Thank you.
    I wasn`t the only one caring for her, but was the main one. I lived in with her, for example.
    She fell badly and broke her hip in November, 1997. She was seventy six and spent quite a while in hospital recovering from that and other complications. She came home in December. The fall had harmed her confidence and she had limited mobility, both physical and psychological.
    I did most things for her from then on, cooking, cleaning, shopping(she insisted on coming with me to do that, though), medical visits, medication, trips out, gardening, even enjoying her television programmes with her, and anything else that needed doing.
    She had a spell back in hospital in September, 2001, for treatment of hyper-thyroidism and diabetes, but came home well enough.
    Some intution led me to give her a big Christmas and all the works that year. She always loved it, and gave me and my brother a happy and generous one when we were young, so it was the least I could do.
    She slowly weakened, and finally became unconscious in November, 2002. I knew it was bad when the doctor said she needed to go straight to hospital and they found a bed for her in Accident and Emergency immediately. The next day my sister and I received the diagnosis from the hosptial doctor. Our mother had a massive brain tumour the size of an apple. It was very largely untreatable and so terminal, though radio therapy might give her a few more weeks of life. His estimate of time left varied between a few weeks and maybe two months at most.
    She never regained consciousness. She spent her last days in a ward, then private room, of a local hospital devoted to the terminally ill, having lots of visitors.
    She died mid-December peacefully in her sleep. I was there with one of my sisters in the hospital room at the time. She had kept her dignity all the way to the end, something I hope I can as well when my time comes. I appreciate the way she let go of life in small steps, always voluntarily and gracefully, and so death came gently to her.
    Afterwards, people said to me they didn`t know how I managed to care for all those years. I answered, perhaps rather flippantly at the time, that I have a lot of stamina and will to see things through. Looking back, I think what happened was the situation brought it forth from me as needed. I didn`t think ahead, just made the day as good as it could be and let tomorrow take care of itself. There was a strength and resilience in me I had not quite known about. It was a good lesson for the future.
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    Dec 02, 2016 3:50 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2016 3:21 PM GMT
    Response:
    So sorry to hear about your mother's passing. Praying for You to be surrounded by love.
    Mark, organist/choir director/composer
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    Dec 02, 2016 3:50 PM GMT
    Lincsbear
    Sorry to hear your news. I cared for my mother during the last five years of her life.


    art_deco
    Wow, a long time. I only took care of my Father for his last 6 weeks.

    Came to Florida right after his first heart attack. He had 5 more, the tough old bird, bless him, took the 6th to bring the final curtain. I had to save him a few times, even resorting to CPR. On your own Father that's tough.

    Watching him die wasn't easy. True with a parent, true with my first partner. And I would think true with any other human.

    It's the way I think Nature made us. To care for each other, and of course more so for our family, and our friends. And to feel their loss more. So I can have a great deal of empathy for you, as can other guys here.

    Take comfort in knowing you had that time with her, as I did with my Dad, made her happy, and you did the honorable thing.

    Lincsbear
    Thank you.

    I wasn`t the only one caring for her, but was the main one. I lived in with her, for example.

    She fell badly and broke her hip in November, 1997. She was seventy six and spent quite a while in hospital recovering from that and other complications. She came home in December. The fall had harmed her confidence and she had limited mobility, both physical and psychological.

    I did most things for her from then on, cooking, cleaning, shopping(she insisted on coming with me to do that, though), medical visits, medication, trips out, gardening, even enjoying her television programmes with her, and anything else that needed doing.

    She had a spell back in hospital in September, 2001, for treatment of hyper-thyroidism and diabetes, but came home well enough. Some intuition led me to give her a big Christmas and all the works that year. She always loved it, and gave me and my brother a happy and generous one when we were young, so it was the least I could do.

    She slowly weakened, and finally became unconscious in November, 2002.

    Stephenoabc
    September 2001 or Christmas 2001 to November 2002.

    Lincsbear
    I knew it was bad when the doctor said she needed to go straight to hospital and they found a bed for her in Accident and Emergency immediately. The next day my sister and I received the diagnosis from the hospital doctor. Our mother had a massive brain tumour the size of an apple. It was very largely untreatable and so terminal, though radio therapy might give her a few more weeks of life. His estimate of time left varied between a few weeks and maybe two months at most.

    She never regained consciousness. She spent her last days in a ward, then private room, of a local hospital devoted to the terminally ill, having lots of visitors.
    She died mid-December peacefully in her sleep. I was there with one of my sisters in the hospital room at the time.

    She had kept her dignity all the way to the end, something I hope I can as well when my time comes. I appreciate the way she let go of life in small steps, always voluntarily and gracefully, and so death came gently to her.

    Afterwards, people said to me they didn`t know how I managed to care for all those years. I answered, perhaps rather flippantly at the time, that I have a lot of stamina and will to see things through. Looking back, I think what happened was the situation brought it forth from me as needed. I didn`t think ahead, just made the day as good as it could be and let tomorrow take care of itself. There was a strength and resilience in me I had not quite known about. It was a good lesson for the future.

    Stephenoabc
    There is a unique experience of a mother's death, even for brothers. (Lincsbear, I have a brother, also.)
    How do we need to experience the death of the mother? How does an individual need to experience the loss of the mother, holding on to what one can?
    What a passage, a new starting point, in a person's life.
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    Dec 02, 2016 3:52 PM GMT
    Destinharbor,

    Thank you for your condolences.

    Best wishes,

    Stephenoabc