How do you know u are gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    Yeah, I know this is a stupid question, how to know if one is gay or just curious? icon_eek.gif

    PS...I'm new in the forum, so please don't be mean with me. LOL
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    Feb 16, 2009 4:40 AM GMT
    If you're sexually excited by guys (and I hope you don't need advice on how to figure that out) and you're not sexually excited by girls, then chances are you're gay.
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    Feb 16, 2009 5:08 AM GMT
    theatrengym saidIf you're sexually excited by guys (and I hope you don't need advice on how to figure that out) and you're not sexually excited by girls, then chances are you're gay.


    yes theatrengym you are right, then i'm bi.

    Thanks for the reply!! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 16, 2009 5:39 AM GMT
    My bf and I have had this discussion because he says I must be bi-sexual because I have been with two women and had children. I totally disagree.

    To me your sexuality is based on what your main attraction is. I was with two women but never have looked at a woman and said "wow, cant wait to fuck her tonite" but you let a hot guy with a tight ass walk by and I am on it!!!! Hard as a rock.

    I was able to have sex with women because thats what I thought I was supposed to do. There are people that have sex with animals but I dont think they look at a dog walking down the street and fantasize about it. haha.

    Its all about attraction. Some people are bi but I am not one of them. My belief is especially men, can have sex with just about anything if they are horny enough and want to get off.

    Its what you find visually, physically, and sensually stimulating that defines your sexuality. I was in realtionships with two women and no woman could ever touch me, hold me or have sex with me and make me feel like my bf does.
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    Feb 16, 2009 7:21 AM GMT
    redbull saidMy belief is especially men, can have sex with just about anything if they are horny enough and want to get off.



    I don't think I could ever have had sex with a woman.
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    Feb 16, 2009 3:15 PM GMT
    juice_1987 saidYeah, I know this is a stupid question, how to know if one is gay or just curious? icon_eek.gif

    PS...I'm new in the forum, so please don't be mean with me. LOL


    No that is not a stupid question, and it is one I received more than once when working the gay helpline in Toronto.

    The way I answered it was as follows:

    - do you develop crushes on guys and never on girls?
    - do you fantasize about only guys when you masturbate?
    - when you watch movies or tv shows do you find yourself taking an interest in the male characters (especially the ones you find good looking) and don't pay attention to the female ones?

    Same sex attraction/orientation has a physiological and an emotional component. Just because a guy has sex with another guy does not mean they are gay. If that was the case the majority of men would be classified as gay, if you include all the same-sex experimentation that goes on between teen males.

    Another aspect of the classification of "Gay" is the total absence of any attraction to women. That is why the number of truly Gay men in the population is probably fairly low, while the number of bisexuals is probably higher than suspected. Some guys who now consider themselves gay, can get sexually aroused by women, and even get married and have kids. It is just their attraction to men is stronger.

    I personally have never had sex with a woman, nor dated a woman. I am 100% male oriented.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2009 5:46 PM GMT
    It's not clear cut. I identify as gay, but women don't leave me totally cold.

    It's a matter of intensity.

    Try both for a while and nature will pretty much let you know.

    Just don't get anyone pregnant icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 16, 2009 5:54 PM GMT
    Don't confuse "sexuality"--sexual tastes with desired emotional committment.

    If you are sexually excited by only the opposite sex you're Heterosexual
    " " same sex you're Homosexual
    " " by both sexes you're Bisexual

    ...it is your desire for an emotional committment (bond, life partner or other term that binds you to another) that makes you gay or straight.

    How's that? better?
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    Feb 16, 2009 5:56 PM GMT
    There is a gay prejudice that "bisexual" does not exist. Since we probably all need to be loved it is very confusing when you are told that you can only do that one way or risk alienation.
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    Feb 16, 2009 9:24 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for all your replies and help! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 16, 2009 9:24 PM GMT
    animanimus saidmake-me-look-gay.jpg


    LOL
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Feb 16, 2009 10:10 PM GMT
    juice_1987 saidYeah, I know this is a stupid question, how to know if one is gay or just curious? icon_eek.gif

    PS...I'm new in the forum, so please don't be mean with me. LOL


    I made the choice to identify as gay. That's pretty much the only thing that defines me as gay. Whether I like to suck dick or not played a part in my (ongoing) decision, but it's really just how I choose to label myself.

    Don't get caught up in BS. If calling yourself gay, bi or whatever fits for you, then go with that. If not, don't worry about it.
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    Feb 16, 2009 10:12 PM GMT
    Well.. it's easy

    If yours get hard when you see penis.

    (I'm just saying! nothing about sexual)

    gay = people who is sexually attractive to same sex.
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    Feb 17, 2009 12:00 AM GMT
    KoreanBrian saidWell.. it's easy

    If yours get hard when you see penis.



    Well, not necessarily only that. I'm one of those gay guys who don't care much about that. Seeing a guy's dick has never done much if anything for me. Nonetheless, I consider myself as close to 100-percent gay as possible.

    Face, pecs, arms, and so on, those are the things that turn me on. And, of course, the whole package (no pun intended). A guy can be hotter than the sum of his parts or less hot than the sum of his parts. There's always something a little indefinable about whether I'm attracted to a guy (and I'd imagine this is true for many of us).
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Feb 17, 2009 12:41 AM GMT
    This is a tricky one. In college, I made out with a lot of girls. Really enjoyed making out and heavy petting. And the thing is, I would always get aroused. That was the thing holding me back for so long, that one aspect that lead me to believe it really was a "just meet the right girl" situation. If I could get it up, then something was working right. But I would never go all the way with anyone out of fear that she'd get naked and I would lose my hard on. And of course, I was still masturbating to gay porn.

    The point is, in my opinion, there are physical situations that will arouse you regardless of your sexual orientation. Any gay man can have sex with a woman if they want (and with concentration, I would guess). Foreplay will arouse them, and then friction will follow. But it's where your heart and mind are that will determine your orientation, not necessarily who you sleep with. Or better yet, it's not what you can do, it's what you want to do.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2009 1:21 PM GMT
    if you have any oral fixation, including cigarette smoking and gum chewing, you may be gay!
  • gymrat1

    Posts: 132

    Feb 18, 2009 1:36 PM GMT
    theatrengym said
    KoreanBrian saidWell.. it's easy

    If yours get hard when you see penis.



    Well, not necessarily only that. I'm one of those gay guys who don't care much about that. Seeing a guy's dick has never done much if anything for me. Nonetheless, I consider myself as close to 100-percent gay as possible.

    Face, pecs, arms, and so on, those are the things that turn me on. And, of course, the whole package (no pun intended). A guy can be hotter than the sum of his parts or less hot than the sum of his parts. There's always something a little indefinable about whether I'm attracted to a guy (and I'd imagine this is true for many of us).


    Yes, totally agree.........absofuckinglutly
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Feb 18, 2009 1:44 PM GMT
    scientificly or psycologically there is the kinsey scale? 0 completely str8 and 6 total homo. I am a 7.5
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2009 2:28 PM GMT
    I know im gay cause everytime I see a woman I throw up alittle in my mouth icon_redface.gif
  • zakariahzol

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    Feb 18, 2009 2:48 PM GMT
    Because I think about men 24/7. I fall in love with them, I dream about them, I cant live without them , I fantasize about having sex with them. Of course I am gay.
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    Feb 18, 2009 3:02 PM GMT
    BigManOnCampus saidI know im gay cause everytime I see a woman I throw up alittle in my mouth icon_redface.gif


    LOL, me too!
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    Feb 18, 2009 3:07 PM GMT
    The dick in my ass was a big clue
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    Feb 18, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    I would think beating off to guys would be your first hint.
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    Feb 18, 2009 3:21 PM GMT
    flex89 saidI would think beating off to guys would be your first hint.


    I payed more attention to the dude in straight porn then the chick lol
  • twentyfourhou...

    Posts: 243

    Feb 18, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    I agree with flex;
    If when you masturbate, it is often to the thought of a man.
    If you masturbate to straight porn, but focus more on the man.
    If when you you have a sexual dream, it often involves sex with a man.
    If walking down the street, you first notice the guy THEN the woman.
    If the touch of an attractive man causes a funny feeling in your stomach.
    If you avoid having a close friendship with an attractive guy for fear of dealing with intimate feelings.


    Most young/men can have sex with just about anything/anyone - doesn't take much to get hard so i would not use the excuse that one can have sex with a woman to rationalize being bi or confused.

    Yup, i speak from experience.