Rumors started by scorned guys, local phenomenon?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 1:13 AM GMT
    It seems like every time you tell a guy no around here and refuse to jump in the sack with him, he starts vicious rumors. I'm really sick of that dumb shit. Are the guys in this town especially retarded or is this rampant everywhere. Anyone honest enough to admit doing it? If so can you explain this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 2:55 AM GMT
    Yeah, I don't get why some guys are catty and spiteful. It's kinda sad really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 4:02 AM GMT
    I don't know why this is either. One of my personal sayings is: I have enemies but my enemies don't have me.

    Just be glad you said no and that they are not part of your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    YngHungSFSD saidIt seems like every time you tell a guy no around here and refuse to jump in the sack with him, he starts vicious rumors. I'm really sick of that dumb shit. Are the guys in this town especially retarded or is this rampant everywhere. Anyone honest enough to admit doing it? If so can you explain this?


    Yes it's wrong but don't worry about the bit about you liking goats. If its true I forgive you. You don't have many other choices in SD.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 5:05 AM GMT
    This happened to me too. The guy went to every gay toilet in the state and wrote an invitation from me and my mobile phone number. I got a lot of calls, I must say!

    It wouldn't be at all unfair for me to say that in my experience the proportion of emotionally unstable gay people far outweighs those who are straight. I wonder if it's part of the trauma so many people go through from growing up gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 5:13 AM GMT
    growingbig saidI don't know why this is either. One of my personal sayings is: I have enemies but my enemies don't have me.

    Just be glad you said no and that they are not part of your life.


    I'm with growingbig - very good thoughts/advice!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 5:22 AM GMT


    Back in my single years a few guys told me that a whole lot of guys were saying I was a cock-tease. I shrugged and said I had standards.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 5:29 AM GMT
    Its called pettiness, bitchiness, and vindictiveness .. its universal everywhere I'm afraid icon_rolleyes.gif
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Feb 17, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    Yes these are sad creetchers!
    Saw a small group of them at the club on saturday and all they did was stand around giving catty looks to people then laughing amoungst themselves..Mind you not one of them had a cocktail, and the ring leader had on the same clothes he had on tuesday..
    A sad bunch indeed....icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 11:32 AM GMT
    AaF pretty much summed it up.
  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Feb 17, 2009 12:26 PM GMT
    Happens everywhere. I've been on the business end of the rumour mill a few times for the same reason. But to be honest, I don't let it bother me.
    If people are small-minded enough to believe a rumour from an outside source without questioning the reasoning behind the attack, then they're not really the type of person I'd want in my every day life.
    As for the ones who start the trouble, I could care less. All they want is attention and if you react to it, you're giving them exactly what they want...and isn't that really the LAST thing you want to do?! Pretty clichéd advice, but I think it's apt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 12:46 PM GMT
    There was this guy online that kept trying to get me to hook up with him. I kept refusing. On one occasion he tried telling me he didnt know why I was so faithful because my boyfriend was cheating on me with one of his friends. I asked him to describe my boyfriend and tell me his name. He was wrong on both answers. I told him it was pathetic that he went to such extremes and to never contact me again. I later blocked him before just getting off that site completely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 12:48 PM GMT
    Well buddy I've lived in two large cities for at least 10 years each (Atlanta and LA) and it definitely is not exclusive to one place. No matter what the reason behind it (childhood trauma, past experience, etc.) I'll never understand why people get all bent out of shape when they express an interest and it's not returned in the manner they expect. I mean everyone is not attracted to everyone (why would they be coming up to/coming on to you vs. the guy next to you then?) and I'm sure they have said no to guys who've expressed interest in them that they are not attracted/interested in, so why the attitude/vindictiveness when you are the one being turned down? Or, on-line for example, no matter how nice you are in saying no, you're called an asshole, a snob or a jerk because you said no.

    All you can do is just forget about it as hard as that may be, especially if you are like me (well, at least how I used to be....I'm trying to change it) and want everyone to like you and think you are a nice person. You can't! SOMEBODYS going to dislike you no matter how good a person you are. You've just got to let it go, be who you are and trust that the right people will be drawn to you and those who aren't going to add something to your life will pass by and hopefully never be heard from again.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 2:06 PM GMT
    I don't think it happens in just the gay community - I think it's a pretty universal response to rejection. Just look at how people react on American Idol when they're rejected!

    I've heard some pretty nasty rumors about myself over the years, and you have to just shrug them off. I remind myself that the people who know me and love me (and accept me for all of my faults) know the rumors aren't true (except for the ones that are :twistedicon_smile.gif.

    I've also seen it in the business world, too, when someone makes a bad mistake or really misses a deadline. Somehow it's not their fault and they make up stuff about other people to take the blame off of themselves.

    Just remember what Oscar Wilde said: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2009 2:08 PM GMT
    Sorry about the one I started about your wiener being so huge you have to roll it up and tack it down with half a roll of duct tape before you put your pants on YngHungSFSD.

    I've never started one, but I lived in a small college town with a very small gay community when I came out. If you hadn't slept with or dated someone, then you had slept with or dated someone that had. The rumor mill was pretty vicious. Just about everyone had been accused of having various STDs, being woefully inadequate in bed or having some bizarre fetish. I eventually gave up trying to even be friends with any of them let alone dating them. It seems smaller gay communities breed gossip at a rate that makes Mean Girls look like a documentary on religious orders who take vows of silence. I'm sure there is some fascinating sociological mechanism at work here, but I'm more interested in avoiding the situation rather than understanding it.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 17, 2009 2:13 PM GMT
    Very sad and unfortunate. I haven't seen or experienced that and hope I never do!

    icon_mad.gif