What is this guy's motivations?

  • christastic

    Posts: 404

    Mar 20, 2017 5:04 AM GMT
    I've been on and off talking to this guy online since last summer. He was really talkative and eager, but he always seemed too busy to meet up; meanwhile I met someone else and ended up getting into a relationship with the other guy for 5 months.

    I broke up in February, and resumed contact with him. We traded about 100 messages before he said he forgot how I looked like and asked for a picture loool. When I sent one, he was full of flattery, which seemed strange coming from someone so clearly hotter than me (usually I get called cute, rather than "hot" "stud" etc). Again he's really chatty, asks me tons of mundane questions about my daily activities, even complains that I don't reply fast enough, but whenever I bring up meeting in real life, he either changes the subject, or shows eagerness only until the date becomes imminent, then suddenly gets sporadic with replies. He also warned me several times that he's only super-photogenic and looks uglier in person, but all his facebook/instagram photos show such a hot guy that even if they were all filtered heavily, the real guy would still be hot lol. I assumed he was fake, but looked up his number and it links to a pretty legit-looking facebook profile. One of my friends apparently chatted with him too and had a similar experience, but that friend looks very similar to me, so maybe I'm his "type".

    We made plans again to meet today after he gets off work at 8, but I didn't expect him to actually make it so I made dinner plans with my friends. Of course, he tells me around 8 that he has to work late and can't make it. I said "lol knew it". He asks me what I'm up to, and I tell him the restaurant I was at . The exchange gets weird:

    Him "lol so it would've never happened anyway lol"
    Me "I wud hv left early. And u flake so much I can't plan around u lol"
    Him "Sure you would've left early..."
    Me "lol u r in no position to be accuse me of flakiness"
    Him "You double booked me that's all lol"
    Me "Um... totally reasonable given your history!"
    Him "I only cancelled once!"

    I had to remind him there was one other time, plus his general failure to reply when I talk about meeting up. He tends not to reply when hit with hard questions, but will likely message me tomorrow as if nothing happened. I'm 95% sure he's real, so if he's simply not interested, why waste so much time talking to me?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2017 6:02 PM GMT
    Drop him... he's a 400lb old guy in another country. OR... make him prove it with a photo of him, a major place of recognition in his area, includes his face, while holding up three fingers...........then u will know at least he is real, in the area now, looks like the pic he is using, OF COURSE HE WILL STATE AN EXCUSE WHY HE CAN'T PROVIDE THIS PIC....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2017 6:08 PM GMT
    He has fake pics and just wants to chat with you. At best he's online acquaintance material so don't fool yourself into imagining it would be more than that. He clearly will never go the next step in meeting you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2017 7:01 PM GMT
    Why are you still talking to him? It sounds like the only reason is because he's hot. That's like literally the only positive thing you've said about him.

    christastic saidWe made plans again to meet today after he gets off work at 8, but I didn't expect him to actually make it so I made dinner plans with my friends. Of course, he tells me around 8 that he has to work late and can't make it. I said "lol knew it". He asks me what I'm up to, and I tell him the restaurant I was at . The exchange gets weird:

    Him "lol so it would've never happened anyway lol"
    Me "I wud hv left early. And u flake so much I can't plan around u lol"
    Him "Sure you would've left early..."
    Me "lol u r in no position to be accuse me of flakiness"
    Him "You double booked me that's all lol"
    Me "Um... totally reasonable given your history!"
    Him "I only cancelled once!"


    This shouldn't be weird to you. It's passive-aggressive. You seem like someone who does this regularly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2017 10:33 PM GMT
    You don't need to figure him out, you just need to stop wasting your time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2017 4:05 PM GMT
    Drop him. You don't need that negativity in your life. He's obviously not serious.
  • Ubeaut

    Posts: 150

    Mar 23, 2017 10:58 AM GMT
    Just block him before he starts asking for money.
    Rule of thumb is 5 messages maximum before you meet.