Why is it so hard to find a boyfriend.. or even someone to date...?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 3:42 AM GMT
    Why is it so difficult to find someone I don't get it... I meet people, i talk to people, but I just cant seem to find someone to date or someone I am interested in... people ask me how I am single and way all the time... and I Just dont know...maybe I am too picky or something....and even if I do find someone I am interested in they are like 5000 miles away.. it just sucks...

    Does anyone else have this problem, meeting people they like but are so far and it seems like the local people have nothing in common with you?

    I've just been so lonely lately and I would just love to go out on a date and have fun.. its been like 8 months since i've been on a date.. it suckssssss

    sorry for this rant that probably is selfish and adds nothing to discuss.. just frustrated at the moment icon_mad.gif
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Feb 18, 2009 3:44 AM GMT
    I wouldn't say I'm lonely at all but I kinda know what you mean. Some people seem to meet people really easily for whatever reason and others don't. I generally fall into the latter category.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    I could not agree more. I had hoped that turing 21 would help, but not so much.

    and its not even so much looks.
    i have been on a handful of dates in the past year (decent looking guys) and there is just no spark, no real connection....

    i blame Pittsburgh, but i'm guessing that going back to philly this summer won't help much.

    OH well, where are you at? wanna go on a date?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 3:52 AM GMT

    I apologize for this. Though I can't fully take the blame. I warned you earlier not to fall in love with me. icon_redface.gif
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Feb 18, 2009 4:10 AM GMT


    Cincy...tough. I grew up there....

    It was rated worst place to live if you are single by Forbes a few years back.

    http://www.forbes.com/singles2004/LIR2506.html?passListId=3&passYear=2004&passListType=Misc&uniqueId=2506&datatype=Misc


    So....probably not you, although other cincy guys may think otherwise
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 18, 2009 4:21 AM GMT
    jbhno3, your a great looking guy. Your young and have plenty of dates ahead of you. Right now you just need hold steady and not look so hard. It's true that when you stop looking, you will find anything your looking, be it a boyfriend, date or a nice pair of shoes and remember to stay open to the idea of looking while your not looking.

    Good Luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 4:35 AM GMT
    Right!
    I am nice... I have a good job... where are all the guys at?!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 4:44 AM GMT
    Arent you moving in a few months anyway, so why sweat it now. You dont want to get involved.

    Have you decided where you are moving to yet?
  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Feb 18, 2009 4:52 AM GMT
    jbhno3, I am in the exact some boat, all the guys that are great live 500000000 miles away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 4:55 AM GMT
    they are just hiding- i just maybe found one today.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    I think when you are able to love yourself enough so that you don't feel lonely when you are physically by yourself then you are ready to be with someone else. The best relationships tend to happen naturally and not when you are seeking them out. I almost feel it's weird to purposely seek out a relationship. People can oftentimes sense your desperation hiding just below the surface and that makes them head in the other direction. It's good to examine what you want from a guy (realistically), but make sure you are in a state of stability first before you open yourself up to someone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 4:59 AM GMT
    well not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:02 AM GMT
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening

    funny pictures ... oh, but that's the problem....there's no "we."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:03 AM GMT
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening


    Yea, I hear ya - it's too bad more guys don't date. Unfortunately too many guys like to screw now and date later....seems backwards lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:04 AM GMT
    Caslon9000 said
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening

    funny pictures ... oh, but that's the problem....there's no "we."


    My bad for wanting to go on a date, since when is that desperation just to go out with someone. Geez dude....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:11 AM GMT
    jbhno3 said
    Caslon9000 said
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening

    funny pictures ... oh, but that's the problem....there's no "we."


    My bad for wanting to go on a date, since when is that desperation just to go out with someone. Geez dude....
    ...ok....let's work on that sense of humor

    Humorous Pictures
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:13 AM GMT
    Caslon9000 said
    jbhno3 said
    Caslon9000 said
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening

    ... oh, but that's the problem....there's no "we."


    My bad for wanting to go on a date, since when is that desperation just to go out with someone. Geez dude....
    ...ok....let's work on that sense of humor


    Seriously lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:14 AM GMT
    lawguy920 saidI think when you are able to love yourself enough so that you don't feel lonely when you are physically by yourself then you are ready to be with someone else. The best relationships tend to happen naturally and not when you are seeking them out. I almost feel it's weird to purposely seek out a relationship. People can oftentimes sense your desperation hiding just below the surface and that makes them head in the other direction. It's good to examine what you want from a guy (realistically), but make sure you are in a state of stability first before you open yourself up to someone else.


    That.

    And

    Getting a date is not difficult. If you are having a hard time, you may be overcomplicating the process. It's really as simple as having a conversation with someone and asking them if they want to grab a cup of coffee or whatever. If they say "yes" you have a date. If they say "no" screw them (not literally), and move on to the next guy. I think being young, gay and in pursuit of a date or a true relationship requires resiliency and being secure with yourself. You just have to learn how to deal with disappointment, and not take flakey behavior personally. Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:20 AM GMT


    The easy way is to make friends - lot's of 'em. Zero expectations. Never stop.

    You'll get good at talking to strangers, breaking the ice, feeling comfy in your own skin and out of all those people you'll get to know at least one will 'click' with you. Don't restrict yourself to looks or gender, (go for personality) because you never know who they will know and introduce you to. Beisdes with all those friends life will be fuller and happier...icon_wink.gif

    Patience men!

    -Doug of meninlove
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:22 AM GMT
    jbhno3 said
    Caslon9000 said
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening

    funny pictures ... oh, but that's the problem....there's no "we."


    My bad for wanting to go on a date, since when is that desperation just to go out with someone. Geez dude....



    It is just a statistical problem because you are programed to believe your lifestyle is similar to a heterosexual one minus the females. However taking females out of the mix is a 51% cut and eliminating heterosexual men is another 40% cut. You don't have much left to be picky about compared to the dating opportunities of a str8 guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:23 AM GMT
    funny pictures of cats with captions
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:33 AM GMT
    bf_fail.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:54 AM GMT
    Meh I'm miserably single but better than being miserably taken. I tend to find guys are totally into me the first night we talk, but then the next night they disappear, on to more of their fans or too busy with being "hunks of the days" and basking in the attention of their fan clubs than being a normal human being. I guess this is why my friends fuss at me for dating beneath me, but in the end my friends all date these beautiful boys who end up taking them for a spin and breaking their hearts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:56 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    The easy way is to make friends - lot's of 'em. Zero expectations. Never stop.

    You'll get good at talking to strangers, breaking the ice, feeling comfy in your own skin and out of all those people you'll get to know at least one will 'click' with you. Don't restrict yourself to looks or gender, (go for personality) because you never know who they will know and introduce you to. Beisdes with all those friends life will be fuller and happier...icon_wink.gif

    Patience men!

    -Doug of meninlove


    Thanks I really like what you had to say
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2009 5:56 AM GMT
    Caslon9000 said
    jbhno3 saidwell not even just a relationship.. but i'd love to go out on a date even lol.. just isnt happening

    funny pictures ... oh, but that's the problem....there's no "we."


    Sometimes I think Calson is taking pictures of me... really, it's starting get scary.