Bars / Clubs

  • mrsmithers

    Posts: 220

    Apr 21, 2017 12:03 AM GMT
    Are they starting to become a thing of the past?
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    Apr 21, 2017 12:36 AM GMT
    mrsmithers said
    Are they starting to become a thing of the past?

    Lotta variables in play.

    Mostly depends on location. If you're in a very accepting community then a gay bar becomes less essential.

    A lot of guys live in hostile environments. That's why gay bars evolved in the first place.

    Plus a lotta gay guys are still older generation. A gay bar was the only place they were welcome & accepted. Versus being thrown out, beat up, or even arrested.

    So a gay bar/club is their comfort zone. And I gotta tell yah, even today I don't feel totally at ease in a straight bar.

    Yeah, I can be butch, I can blend in. But I can't be ME. And a lotta guys in a straight bar, when they know what I am, would love to punch me out.

    I wanna be me, I wanna be relaxed, I wanna not have fear or confrontations. Gay bars still serve a purpose.
  • mrsmithers

    Posts: 220

    Apr 21, 2017 1:22 AM GMT
    I don't think they are becoming obsolete and that they don't need a label like some people think.. Some clubs have always had mixed people since the 70s, like studio 54.. Most people go to gay bars to hookup for the night, like most straight people do, but there are people that like to go out and meet their friends and have fun.. It's hard for gays to go out to straight clubs and hookup only to find out the guy is after girls, or may even get into a fight.. Homophobic people still exist.. I find the good old house music doesn't seem to be a new thing anymore, and back then it seems like people went out to dance to some good house music, and even at that time straights would even go into gay clubs just because of the music.. EDM has been taken over by absolutely no talent.. It's basically nothing more than a big corporate profit machine.. Back in the day you would hear alot of music that wasn't on the radio top 40... So basically the big room dance clubs are starting to close all over, gay and straight.. Here in South Florida in the suburban area, the night clubs that were open closed, now people drive to Fort Lauderdale to go out, which is 40 minutes away, the only gay bars left here are three hole in the wall types places that are falling apart.. They have juke boxes in them, and the trash that comes off the streets puts money in them and play music that makes you want to not finish your drink and get in the car and leave.. or they have DJs on the weekends and you don't want to be there for that either.. I still the crappy economy, seems like people are not making the disposable income they once was making, so you either get the really young or the really old retires.. The average blue collar worker maybe goes out one a month or two.. Seems to be alot of factors.. Some blame technology, but online dating and hooking up has been around since the late 90s, and there were other options to hookup, such as bookstores, parks, cruising areas etc..
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    Apr 21, 2017 1:29 AM GMT
    Many of the bar's here in N.Z served a double purpose ( when they existed) like most I guess, a place to meet and socialise, as well as to find a pick up for a night or meet your life partner. Now many are closed Older gay guys preferring dinner parties with their select friends, while younger wanting house parties.
    I was sixteen when the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in New Zealand. Guys could feel they could be themselves and go to bar and clubs safely. by the late 90's the Gay club scene was at its height. Straight guys and girls would come to the clubs because they played the best dance music because they hired all the best D.Js. The late 90's and early 2000's was a real turning point for young gay men. Socially expected by their peer's they have their social needs met, no longer feel the need for gay only friends, as they can be themselves, no longer feel the need for gay only bars. The decline for bars was here due to fewer patrons, the killer combo being Higher rents as land price values rose. In Part the social expectancy of all sexual orientation. the real game changer, however, is apps. this is also reflected in a cruise joint a friend runs, 97% of the clients, males that identify themselves as Married Heterosexuals, their patronage has dropped due to the advent of the app. Still open due to many being unable to have a safe place to go ( a reason why he opened the business) Personally, I think this a sad stage in the evolution of Gay society. I enjoyed the gay bar on a social level, knowing all the guys in there ( even bi-guys) were on a similar wavelength. I think there is still a need for Gay Bars and Clubs for oldies and pups alike. however, to keep them open they need the patrons.
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    Apr 21, 2017 1:38 AM GMT
    mrsmithers said
    Most people go to gay bars to hookup for the night, like most straight people do, but there are people that like to go out and meet their friends and have fun.

    MOST people go to gay bars to hookup?

    Even when I was single I went to gay bars to socialize. If I hooked-up, great, otherwise I simply had a good time.

    Yah know, we seem to have a lot of these misconceptions. For myself, I just like to meet guys. Hook-up maybe, hook-up not (when I was single).

    I think the best way to meet guys is to not expect to meet guys. It's when you pressure yourself and get pushy, and it's apparent (and believe me it is), that you turn a lot of guys off.

    Meet them just to be friendly. If something clicks, it clicks. If it doesn't, you still had a nice evening. Tomorrow is another day. NEVER look desperate.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 2217

    Apr 21, 2017 4:14 AM GMT
    Of course those those older people that are single need an outlet to meet men unless they date one of their friends. I do get confused about those in accepting areas and have multiple outlets available to them but can't get a date. Perhaps it only interests them if it is after the holidays and have nobody to kiss when the clock strikes 12.

    Horny_Devil saidMany of the bar's here in N.Z served a double purpose ( when they existed) like most I guess, a place to meet and socialise, as well as to find a pick up for a night or meet your life partner. Now many are closed Older gay guys preferring dinner parties with their select friends, while younger wanting house parties.
    I was sixteen when the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in New Zealand. Guys could feel they could be themselves and go to bar and clubs safely. by the late 90's the Gay club scene was at its height. Straight guys and girls would come to the clubs because they played the best dance music because they hired all the best D.Js. The late 90's and early 2000's was a real turning point for young gay men. Socially expected by their peer's they have their social needs met, no longer feel the need for gay only friends, as they can be themselves, no longer feel the need for gay only bars. The decline for bars was here due to fewer patrons, the killer combo being Higher rents as land price values rose. In Part the social expectancy of all sexual orientation. the real game changer, however, is apps. this is also reflected in a cruise joint a friend runs, 97% of the clients, males that identify themselves as Married Heterosexuals, their patronage has dropped due to the advent of the app. Still open due to many being unable to have a safe place to go ( a reason why he opened the business) Personally, I think this a sad stage in the evolution of Gay society. I enjoyed the gay bar on a social level, knowing all the guys in there ( even bi-guys) were on a similar wavelength. I think there is still a need for Gay Bars and Clubs for oldies and pups alike. however, to keep them open they need the patrons.
  • mrsmithers

    Posts: 220

    Apr 21, 2017 7:49 AM GMT
    I know here the gay bars don't have the patrons, other than the same 36 people you see all the time.. and I kinda know the reason why.. The bars in my area don't offer anything so many people avoid them altogether and go to Ft Lauderdale.. Seems like tourism isn't like it use to be around here either.. Was a time you would see new faces.. It's also very cliquish around here, and I know many avoid places like that..
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    Apr 21, 2017 8:05 AM GMT
    In this country, gay bars are in trend (if only in bigger cities icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif and if only they aren't officially gay bars)
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1469

    Apr 21, 2017 4:52 PM GMT
    In times past, people went to gay bars to hook up, because it was the only place you could do it with any measure of safety.

    Most people in the bars these days aren't there to meet anyone new; they're there to hang out with their friends.

    If they want to hook up, they use Grindr.
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    Apr 21, 2017 5:48 PM GMT
    bro4bro said
    In times past, people went to gay bars to hook up, because it was the only place you could do it with any measure of safety.

    Most people in the bars these days aren't there to meet anyone new; they're there to hang out with their friends.

    If they want to hook up, they use Grindr.

    I'm not sure it was entirely hook-ups. It was also socializing. With gay guys, where you could be out and relaxed. Not worry about being beat up and thrown out onto the sidewalk.

    Couples go there, and they aren't cruising. They're meeting friends. As I'm typing this on my iPad that's exactly what we're doing here this moment. I type a little, talk a little. My husband is just blabbing away with the other guys at the bar, as he always does.

    We both just had lunch. That camaraderie we're enjoying is less likely to happen in a straight bar or club. It might occur in a straight place, too, for straights.

    But it isn't the same for a gay guy. I try to relate to straights, but once they realize what I am they shut down in many cases. No, my proper place is a gay club. It's there I can relate.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 2217

    Apr 21, 2017 6:34 PM GMT
    I don't know about that with couples. I was flirting with one guy and he had a boyfriend with him. Him and his boyfriend wanted to hook-up with me. I have been getting a lot of messages off Grindr lately from twenty somethings mostly. They tend to be flighty though, getting turned off by simple questions like "have you been to the bar lately?". I personally don't like meeting men online or on apps. Back in the day there were phone lines and you didn't get to see them and most of the guys on there had social issues. I still get men that cruise me in a bar but I was undecided about the whole age thing since most are younger and the older guys are cruising younger ones..

    art_deco said
    bro4bro said
    In times past, people went to gay bars to hook up, because it was the only place you could do it with any measure of safety.

    Most people in the bars these days aren't there to meet anyone new; they're there to hang out with their friends.

    If they want to hook up, they use Grindr.

    I'm not sure it was entirely hook-ups. It was also socializing. With gay guys, where you could be out and relaxed. Not worry about being beat up and thrown out onto the sidewalk.

    Couples go there, and they aren't cruising. They're meeting friends. As I'm typing this on my iPad that's exactly what we're doing here this moment. I type a little, talk a little. My husband is just blabbing away with the other guys at the bar, as he always does.

    We both just had lunch. That camaraderie we're enjoying is less likely to happen in a straight bar or club. It might occur in a straight place, too, for straights.

    But it isn't the same for a gay guy. I try to relate to straights, but once they realize what I am they shut down in many cases. No, my proper place is a gay club. It's there I can relate.
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    Apr 22, 2017 3:11 AM GMT
    art_deco said
    bro4bro said
    In times past, people went to gay bars to hook up, because it was the only place you could do it with any measure of safety.

    Most people in the bars these days aren't there to meet anyone new; they're there to hang out with their friends.

    If they want to hook up, they use Grindr.

    I'm not sure it was entirely hook-ups. It was also socializing. With gay guys, where you could be out and relaxed. Not worry about being beat up and thrown out onto the sidewalk.

    Couples go there, and they aren't cruising. They're meeting friends. As I'm typing this on my iPad that's exactly what we're doing here this moment. I type a little, talk a little. My husband is just blabbing away with the other guys at the bar, as he always does.

    We both just had lunch. That camaraderie we're enjoying is less likely to happen in a straight bar or club. It might occur in a straight place, too, for straights.

    But it isn't the same for a gay guy. I try to relate to straights, but once they realize what I am they shut down in many cases. No, my proper place is a gay club. It's there I can relate.





    You will probably guess where and what forum topic I found this pic of you AD. I did a 6 month 2001 summer contract job in ND and my weekend haunt was the Moorehead I-Beam. icon_razz.gif, I hooked up with some guy at the local adult bookstore.

    That years summer blockbuster hit was Sandstorm- Darude icon_cool.gif

    PA006.jpg[/


  • jon60

    Posts: 5

    Apr 22, 2017 3:17 AM GMT
    she is gorgeous
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    Apr 22, 2017 8:48 AM GMT
    Read an article that you might relate to

    https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2017/apr/21/lgbt-london-venue-closures-capital-future-night-tsar
  • Ubeaut

    Posts: 150

    Apr 24, 2017 1:20 AM GMT
    Pubs and bars can thrive, for every bar with 4 patrons, there'll be another down the road, or in the next suburb that is busy every night.

    What has changed is that there are alternatives. It not enough to have a liquor licence and people will flock to your establishment.
    You need great service, meals available, and something different on each night. the something different could be, a pool comp, live music, door prizes, trivia quiz, karaoke,, a happy hour for the local sports club, a retro dj one night, an up to date dj another night. There are lots of options.

    It takes work but bars that embrace their customers get rewarded handsomely. The ones that don't go bust.
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    Apr 24, 2017 1:53 AM GMT
    ElnathB said
    You will probably guess where and what forum topic I found this pic of you AD. I did a 6 month 2001 summer contract job in ND and my weekend haunt was the Moorehead I-Beam. icon_razz.gif, I hooked up with some guy at the local adult bookstore.

    That years summer blockbuster hit was Sandstorm- Darude icon_cool.gif

    PA006.jpg

    Yep, that's me. I think I did this in 2001, age 52, same time frame as you. That pic taken at the Fargo Theatre, where I got ready. For a Halloween Costume party at the I-Beam. Won a money prize for this. Used the outfit again, modified, for a drag appearance I later did at the Beam. Title was "The Cocktail Witch". Rather than be a classic old ugly witch, I went in a cocktail dress, as a modern witch, with tons of black feathers and high heels. I had a prop martini glass I carried all night.

    I made that whole outfit myself, got the black feathers, put them on the hat and dress. Made the dress, too. Problem was my heavy beard shadow, that I just couldn't suppress. At least not under a direct camera flash. I wore sunglasses because my oldest feature is my eyes, and my makeup skills couldn't disguise that. So I just covered them up. Plus they partially covered my black eyebrows, that I didn't want to dye.

    I remember after doing the makeup, and donning the wig, I held my eyeglasses up so I could stand back and see myself in the mirror. I screamed. My BF ran in.

    "What's wrong?" "It's my Mother!" And it was, unintentionally. Even though she wasn't a blond, it looks just like her. Kinda scary to me, still. Even that pose is her, but again, not a conscious attempt on my part.

    I was a regular at the I-Beam. But no bookstores. We might have crossed paths. I ran the follow spotlight exclusively, from the elevated DJ booth in the dance room. Next to me was the DJ, with whom I hooked up a number of times. In fact, I chose him to "deflower" me.
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    Apr 24, 2017 7:33 AM GMT
    Bars and clubs are not really places to meet your future husband, though it happened in the past to a couple guys I know.
    I mean, more and more straight people cruise gay bars nowadays. Lol, and most gay guys in gay bars, they're kinda stand-offish, in a clique
    that don't want to talk to anyone else. Maybe sometimes, there's a creeper staring at you all night long across the room. Not that I know.
    lol icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • mrsmithers

    Posts: 220

    Apr 26, 2017 7:45 AM GMT
    laxwill10 saidBars and clubs are not really places to meet your future husband, though it happened in the past to a couple guys I know.
    I mean, more and more straight people cruise gay bars nowadays. Lol, and most gay guys in gay bars, they're kinda stand-offish, in a clique
    that don't want to talk to anyone else. Maybe sometimes, there's a creeper staring at you all night long across the room. Not that I know.
    lol icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_rolleyes.gif


    I don't really see that happening.., unless they are looking for some old man to pay their way, but then that goes to escorting..