May 06, 2017 8:24 PM GMT
A friend asked me this yesterday - I was surprised that the question even needed to be asked.
christastic saidWell let's eliminate the possible weasel answers and assume you asked him if he knew the guy's status, and he answers that the guy says he's neg. And of course, no one knows someone else's status for a fact unless they saw his test results, so all you have is hearsay from two or more people. It could very well be just gossip, but would you let your friend take a chance with someone who you think is lying about his status?
In other words, what is the threshold of risk before one is willing to make himself look bad by "meddling". If the friend is known for practicing safe sex and treats all partners like they're poz anyway, would it affect your answer?
art_deco said[If] You Knew Your Friend's Date/Hookup Is Poz, Would You Tell Him?
I don't deal in gossip, that's rampant in the gay community.
k15thelement saidHell yeah. I gotta look out for my bro. At the end of the day, it's his decision on how to succeed but at least I tried.
TO23 saidLiberal: no, and disclosing your status and criminalizing HIV spreading is inhumane and unjust
Conservative: yes, as transparency and stigma towards a potentially deadly virus helps save lives
Lumpyoatmeal saidIf your friend has unsafe/unprotected sex with dates and hookups would it matter? He may well already be positive by now. If he only has safe and protected sex then what would be the need to tell him? If you have unsafe/unprotected sex with a date or hookup because they told you that they're negative, you're an idiot.
Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidLumpyoatmeal saidIf your friend has unsafe/unprotected sex with dates and hookups would it matter? He may well already be positive by now. If he only has safe and protected sex then what would be the need to tell him? If you have unsafe/unprotected sex with a date or hookup because they told you that they're negative, you're an idiot.
Agree lumpy and that goes for UVL too until you have proof.
Destinharbor saidYes. I have no major fear of pos persons if the sex is handled properly but that requires knowledge. You should mention that you know he's positive without being judgmental. Just friendly advice to stay safe, he's positive, you know.... I actually buy into the argument that pos undetectable guys can be safer than someone who doesn't bother to check or know for sure. You should always be a good friend but that doesn't mean you have to be a dick about the other guy just because he's pos. That said, if the guy is lying about his status, he's dangerous, if even because of his insecurity. Partner's have a right to know.