What criteria do you use during a first date to determine if you should go on a second date or not?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2009 5:20 PM GMT
    My roommate and I were talking last night about my issues with dating (we won't get into that here) and he's of the mind that it takes more than one date to really determine if you and the other person really click or have an interest in each other, and I've always based this decision on the first date, was there any kind of "spark", how the conversation goes, am I physically attracted to the guy, do I feel like I want to see him again, etc.

    Am I being too shorthanded in my decision making? Should I give a person more than a first date to determine if there's actually anything there?

    Thanks all...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2009 9:35 PM GMT
    _dude_ saidAm I being too shorthanded in my decision making? Should I give a person more than a first date to determine if there's actually anything there?

    Yes, first impressions are often misleading. Unless that first date is clearly a total disaster, always give a guy a second chance. And maybe he'll give you a second chance, too. icon_wink.gif
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Feb 19, 2009 10:56 PM GMT
    Agree with Vespa. I think there are always first-date disasters, but I try to give a guy at least 2 or 3 dates. Of course, that doesn't always go both ways. I've been on many first dates where I expected a second date (or more) and been wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2009 11:50 PM GMT
    3 Things:
    1) CHEMISTRY
    2) PERSONALITY
    3) NON-SMOKER
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    Do they seem open, honest, direct? Does the conversation seem enjoyed? Does he make direct eye contact with you or is he too busy eyeing up the waiter?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    I go on a first date just to see what happens, sometimes I think about a second date. Mostly though, I think about, "how would this person fit into my life and how would I fit into this persons life?" on that second date. I don't generally make decisions about seeing someone further or not until that second date. Takes a lot of pressure off of "finding a boyfriend."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 12:25 AM GMT
    Whether or not he's going to press charges?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    I think for me a lot of it comes down to chemistry, but I guess it's still hard to tell if you'll have any on a first date.

    I do like the comment about seeing if the person can fit into my life. I like to think I bring myself to the table, and I try not to hold back who I am or be nervous. I like someone who's confident, whether it's the first date or 5th. Perhaps I need to re-adjust my standards a bit =)

    But usually, either I'm interested or not...if I am, I'll gladly go on a second date, but I seem to meet a lot of guys that just don't interest me.

    Eh, who knows...thanks for the input guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    no matter what happens on the first date, slip up or minor errors i always brush up cuz after going on many one time dates with many guys and seeing htem later u realize u never really got to know them, and u never know they couldve been cool, but theres somethings that iw ont say that if a guy does on the first date id pull the plug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    Chemistry, if there is no chemistry there is no need for a second date why waste each others time.

    If he shows up on time for the date. If you are going to be late call. It's rude to keep someone waiting.

    Sometimes nerves can get the best of us and we can come off not in the best light, sort of dim daff know what I mean.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 4:13 PM GMT
    Before a first date I get really nervous. I don't sleep too well the night before, I worry about the off color jokes I am bound to make, I wonder if my cloths will send the right message (that message being: I wont sleep with you tonight, but I might sleep with you soon). By the time the date comes around a train wreck. If we go out to eat I will be distracted wondering the likelihood of a particular tasty dish getting stuck in my teeth or giving me bad breath. Which fork do you use first? In an attempt to look like a gentleman, I invariably look like Tamy Fay mid break down sans facepaint.

    So, on behalf of freaks like me, give your dates a second chance.*






    *unless they have a wife, numerous children they bring on the date by surprise, a clown, like the later works of Phil Collins, play footsie under the dinner table with their tongue, former KGB and keep pushing the tea. May cause anal leakage.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 20, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    I'd say if he passes all the red flag issues and you had a reasonably good time, then go on a second date. Unless you've got something more pressing to do with your time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 4:27 PM GMT
    if we are able to have a lively, fun conversation and not stare blankly out the window/at each other, then a second date is imminent.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 4:32 PM GMT
    What 'critter' do you use during a first date to determine if you should go on a second date or not?

    Dog to sniff his crotch; best to do this early, so no big expense of a meal...icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    I only go on a second date if I hear Carpenters singing "Close To You" in my head everytime I think about him...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 6:27 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidif we are able to have a lively, fun conversation and not stare blankly out the window/at each other, then a second date is imminent.


    Yeah, that's largely what it is for me, that and chemistry. If we just kind of sit there and aren't saying much...or the talk goes to the weather or something bland like that, I don't see a 2nd date in our future.

    Regardless...dating sucks, period. Hahaha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2009 7:20 PM GMT
    When I do go out for a date then its ALWAYS for something like a hike, bicycling ride preferably trails in the woods, or some kind of sporting event that can facilitate talking. That way there is some area of common interest to share and build on beyond sitting looking at each other and evaluating weather we look like our pictures, have bad breath and poor hygiene, or are socially incorrigible in some way.

    [/quote]

    I think you just changed my life and the way I want to date from now on.

    You make total perfect sense.

    Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!! Another intelligent RJ member!!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 22, 2009 7:32 AM GMT
    I agree with some of the posts above me here that describe doing something other than sitting in a cafe or restaurant for that first date. I like to do something really out of the box.........and see what the guys are made of. I like to actually DO something with guys - like a hike up Camelback - and then kick back at the top and talk to each other while taking in the view - before heading back down. Another thing is a hot game of tennis, or golf, or even a workout at the gym. Afterward - a cool down with swimming some laps - then kicking back in the jacuzzi or in the chaise lounges next to the pool - also a good place to talk. I'd veto going to a movie - because you can't talk. I look for chemistry - ease of conversation (does it flow?) and I like to see if guys are active and fit as opposed to just wanting to sip coffee. If they're negative, dull or listless - no second date!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 22, 2009 7:33 AM GMT
    if him pounding me up against the wall wakes my roommate up, then i will
    >_
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 07, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidWhether or not he's going to press charges?


    icon_lol.gificon_twisted.gif

    If you have a hard time not thinking about him after the date is over and think about him when you wake up...thats what I look for. If not, then you are probably just settling for "almost mr right." If he has to grow on you, why bother.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2009 5:50 AM GMT
    Whether or not he asks me for a second date?
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Apr 12, 2009 5:29 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidif we are able to have a lively, fun conversation and not stare blankly out the window/at each other, then a second date is imminent.
    Yeah this is a good sign. I also have decided, like another poster: coffee shops are out. It's more more fun to go for a little hike, have lunch or something instead of making the entire focus center on sitting and talking.
    Oh and skydiving is also a good first date! I like to see how he handles intense situations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 12, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    How big are his calves? If they're bigger than an orange, I'm in for a second date. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 19, 2009 9:45 PM GMT
    How hot the sex wasicon_twisted.gif