Boyfriend traveling

  • brando25

    Posts: 3

    Jul 14, 2017 3:59 PM GMT
    I'm in need of some serious advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now and I'm really into him and can see a future with him this is really my first "serious" relationship. My guy is from Utah and recently told me he wants to go home to visit for 3 weeks up to a month and he asked me how I felt about that and honestly it really upsets me. He doesn't work but does receive a monthly income. I'm upset because I feel if he really cared that much he wouldn't want to be separated for such a long time for really no reason other than visiting I do trust him completely so I'm not worried about him being unfaithful I just feel it's unfair that I'm going to be home missing him while he's off having a good time smoking weed all day and doing nothing, he did tell me I'm welcome to "tag along" but I just don't know how I feel about this.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4884

    Jul 14, 2017 4:10 PM GMT
    Grow up. He wants to visit his family and you have a problem with that? He even invited you but that isn't good enough for you? Why do you think he should stop living and do nothing but be with you and no one else? Get a grip. Utah is beautiful this time of year and he wants to see home.
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    Jul 14, 2017 4:31 PM GMT
    I think you are being a bit too unreasonable and very much clingy. Learn to be a complete whole person without your boyfriend instead of your boyfriend filling in gaps for you. It will save you a lot turmoil and unnecessary arguments. I say this because it seems your quite new to this relationship thing and understand that you always want to be with him but a relationship is much as being apart as being together.
  • Element1313

    Posts: 71

    Jul 14, 2017 9:10 PM GMT
    You my think you are in a relationship
    but he is trying to tell you that he is not. Assume that you are open and start seeing other guys.
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    Jul 14, 2017 10:01 PM GMT
    Talon saidI think you are being a bit too unreasonable and very much clingy. Learn to be a complete whole person without your boyfriend instead of your boyfriend filling in gaps for you. It will save you a lot turmoil and unnecessary arguments. I say this because it seems your quite new to this relationship thing and understand that you always want to be with him but a relationship is much as being apart as being together.


    ^^^^ this
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    Jul 15, 2017 1:40 AM GMT
    Buddy. I think, in my humble opinion, that you are being a bit selfish and thinking only about yourself. The guy want to visit his family and He even asked you to come along... One of the most important things in relationships is the need to let people do what they want and be free. If you really love him, you should let him go and stop being so imature. If He really loves you, He will come back!
    Cheers
  • tomofutah

    Posts: 3

    Jul 16, 2017 12:52 AM GMT
    One day, meeting his family and observing how they act around you and each other, will give you more insight into "your guy" than years of living together. Your choice, sulk or learn.
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    Jul 16, 2017 2:50 AM GMT
    It's healthy to have a balance in any relationship. He's just visiting his family, he's not sleeping around on you. Lol
    I suggest take this time to do your own things and enjoy your freedom time from him. He will come back and you will appreciate
    him a lot better. Don't act so needy and clingy !! icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_evil.gif
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    Jul 16, 2017 5:40 PM GMT
    Don't be clingy and let him be. it seems these days co-dependency is a thing to aspire, but it's such a turn off for me.
    Being in a relationship with someone means complimenting them and supporting each other, NOT ownership of the other.
    You had a life before him, I assume you can get to it while he's gone...especially if unfaithfulness is not an issue here.
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    Jul 24, 2017 9:48 PM GMT
    There's an invention called the telephone for keeping in touch. Use it Every night if you want.

    Maybe even Skype, so you can see other while talking.
  • BambiBoy98

    Posts: 72

    Jul 25, 2017 2:39 AM GMT
    No offense but I think your being a little unreasonable about this situation. If I were in your situation I would encourage him to spend time with his family because that's just as important as spending time with your partner. And he did say that you could come along too. So if you have a problem with being apart for so long, just go with him. If you don't want to that's fine too. Just suck it up and just call him or something.
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    Jul 25, 2017 9:12 AM GMT
    Missing your significant other is an important part of being in a relationship. The longing to be with somebody reminds us how much we love them. Missing someone is tough but from time to time one must learn to live by himself too. It keeps one emotionally independent. More than that, the space is healthy. Don't suffocate that space, otherwise, his companionship will eventually become a noose around your neck or vice versa.

    Now, to the part of home visit. He is visiting his family for heaven's sake. He has every right to do it. Being in a relationship with you doesn't mean his love, care and obligation towards his family have cease to exist. Neither being a significant other means that you usurp monopoly over his life nor does it allow you to contour his life that suits only your interest. I am sure that's not how you see it but unconsciously your feeling and actions are dictating it. A relationship is made up of two individuals, they must never forget their individual life otherwise it is bound to fail. Just like a rail track, the relationship is a rail track and the people involved are two parallel bars that makes the track. They must remain parallel, if you try to merge them, it will derail the train.

    If you are feeling insecure about the possibility that his long absence may put a nail in your relationship, then try to work it out. Talk to him regularly, Skype him, text him. Perhaps, if you could, pay him a short visit as well.

    This is a good opportunity for you to show your support and encouragement. Don't try to drill a sense of guilt in him while he is away to have some wonderful time at home with people who were detriment into who he is today.
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    Aug 08, 2017 5:55 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidGrow up. He wants to visit his family and you have a problem with that? He even invited you but that isn't good enough for you? Why do you think he should stop living and do nothing but be with you and no one else? Get a grip. Utah is beautiful this time of year and he wants to see home.


    Dude, you seem to be a real dick! I've only been on this site for 2 days and almost every thread that I read where you reply, it's nothing but negative insults from you. What's the matter, did you get bullied by Daddy as a kid and now you want to return the favor to everyone else? What a douche! First block/ignore on here...