onlyawhisper saidI turned 27 yesterday and I've never had a boyfriend. It took me a while to come to terms with my sexuality, and I just still have had no luck. I've only been on one date, which was a few months ago and it ended up with the guy basically ditching me. I didn't take too much offense to it because I wasn't really feeling it either. I think a lot of it has to do with my weight/body type. I'm always told that I'm handsome, but clearly not too many other guys think so. My body type is not athletic or muscular and I feel like it just isn't acceptable in the gay community. I'm not morbidly obese, but I am on the huskier/chubby side. I've tried diets and exercise plans and I always seem to go back to the bad eating habits and the weight comes back on. I find it hard to exercise at my weight, as I'm about 225 lbs. My doctor has told me I have a larger frame, and that me being 160 lbs at 5'9" would probably not look very healthy. The goal is to get me into 185-190 range. I got down to about 195 a few years ago and it was only because I was taking Adderall which caused me to lose a lot of weight, which eventually came back on.
I have no idea what I'm doing in the gym and I can't afford a trainer at the moment. I'm honestly just considering some form of weight loss surgery, because even when I do eat healthy, I don't notice much of a difference in my body as my metabolism is shit. I'm tired of going through my 20s looking and feeling like this. This isn't a "feel sorry for me" post, but rather just me accepting that this is the way my life will be unless a significant change is made.
It sucks that I have to change who I am in order to meet someone, but I also want to do it to feel good about myself, which I currently do not. I have no gay friends, and my only way of talking to guys is through apps and "dating" websites. No luck there. I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of being alone.
Okay. This is a CRY for Help IF I EVER SAW ONE.
Immediately, get guidance to be able to look at your Astrological Natal Chart, Your Progressed Chart, and Your Astro-Cartography map. You are CRYING FOR HELP because you do not like your current Fate / Situation / Life. "I'm going to die alone at 27." That is a cry for help if I ever heard one.
What was your fuckin' major? Hopefully, you had to take Psychology 101 and Sociology 101. Looking at your astrological charts and map are easier if you know a little bit of Jung.
Second, SWIM OVER TO A GOOD CHURCH before you hurt yourself. Can you get to Manhattan? Go to Marble Collegiate Church by the Empire State Building or maybe Riverside Church up by Columbia University.
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Now more about what you have written.
Yea, you're handsome as FUCK but youtell us that is no currency for you.
Oh well. Whine: I'm rich but I can't buy anything.
And you're fucking young.
First world PROBLEM.
People can't even deal with that shit! Next.
I don't have a sexy body because I'm 5'9", 225 lbs and not 5'9" 160 pounds or 195 pounds.
Dude, I've been there. I was 5'9" 235-240 and could not exercise it off. I exercised so much, I fractured my foot, didn't stop exercise, then broke the foot.
With our body type, we cannot hold down a full time job with commute and stay under 200 pounds.
When I was in high school I was 212 pounds and went down to 157. You know how? I had a joyful friendship with a female cousin. I had to ride my bike to her house so she could ride her bike to my house then we rode our bike to their nearest university which had tennis courts. We played tennis for two hours or watched for an hour then played for an hour. Then we road back past my house to her house, then I rode my bike back to my house.
No fucking gym, no fucking $90/ month, no fucking sauna, jacuzzi, steam room, machines, none of that shit. Just fucking Joy. Happiness, talking, socializing, play.
No fucking pills of any kind. No Waistline Control pills from Life Extension Foundation which produces Life Extension Magazine. No CLA pills from the body building health food store. No l-Carnitine. No BCAAs. None of that.
I'm a Taurus. She's a Virgo. I don't get along well with all Virgos. I took piano lessons first. Then she took piano lessons. I gave a piano recital. She turned pages for me. She took a modeling class. I went to her graduation fashion show.
To this day, decades later, we keep in contact over tennis matches, conversations about health, etc.
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As for guy friends. I remember playing tennis with two friends. One of them, we just played for four hours straight. My roommate and I played a couple of times together. He had a little motorcycle and I got to ride back to our place with my arms around his cute belly.
Another friend noticed I wasn't lifting my knees high enough when I jogged with him.
Another friend was so good at being playful when we would do tennis warmups, I always had a smile on my face for the joy he brought me. Will love him forever.
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You have no idea what you're doing in a gym?
You don't need a fuckin gym.
I went to the gym in my 20s to cross train to be more fit on the tennis courts.
I jogged Central Park Reservoir 1.6 miles, well because the scenery was fuckin amazing, the people watching was cool, and I liked the athleticism it provided. I liked getting out of my winter body into my late spring to early winter body.
I went to the gym because they had racquetball which is an okay pastime until outdoor tennis season returned. Racquetball helped me be a better net player in tennis.
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Enough of tennis. People like riding loops on bikes with crowds of people. They are not alone in crowded parks and single people can live off the energy of public spaces.
1) Rollerblading in New York around the Central Park loop.
2) Biking around the Central Park loop.
Contrary to that? I moved to Plano, TX and I am lonely as shit here. White Rock Lake Park is too fucking far away. I got tired of riding my bike around the mega-high school. That was lonely as hell--no joggers, no roller bladers, no people walking to the Guggenheim, Met Museum, Space Museum at the Natural History Museum, tourists.
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Shit, if you're lonely, be lonely in the middle of a crowd of happy ass people. You can thrive in that environment.
Qualification: Another reason I was happy as Fuck in New York is because that is where my Venus on the Midheaven line is (AstroCartoGraphy concept).
IF YOU'RE LIVING SOMEWHERE ON THIS GLOBE WHERE THE SOLAR SYSTEM WILL NOT LET YOU BE HAPPY, THERE IS NO WAY YOU WILL BE HAPPY BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE TOO SHORT TO BOX WITH GOD.
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OK Emergency Rescue Time is Over.
RECLAIMING MY TIME.
RECLAIMING MY TIME.