Boyfriend sexting

  • brando25

    Posts: 3

    Sep 01, 2017 4:02 PM GMT
    I'm needing some feedback from other gay men. My boyfriend and I have been together a few months and It's been pretty good, a few weeks ago we went on a trip to Chicago together to meet his two best friends who live there, we had a pretty good first few days and then one evening he was charging his phone and I happened to glance at his phone and saw he had new FB messenger convos, I've never looked at his phone before but I had a weird gut feeling to look and I found messages from an older man in his late forties telling him that he was back in his hotel room and calling him baby, I lost it and confronted him and forced him to show me his phone and it turns out they had been exchanging pics and sexting, I've never felt so betrayed because here we are on a trip together and he's sexting other guys, so I told him it was over and was getting a flight home, that night he begged me and cried and pleaded not to leave him and he said he wasn't actually going to meet up with anyone and it was just talk, we talked for 5 hours that night he continued to beg for another chance so I said yes, obviously things have been weird between us since we've been home and I don't know if I made the right decision in giving him a chance or if I should just call it quits, I hate to admit that I do love him I just don't know if we can get past this.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Sep 01, 2017 4:16 PM GMT
    You've only been together a couple of months. If he was in the habit of sexting guys before you were together, well, old habits are hard to break. It's literally a dopamine withdrawal. Give him time and don't be too much of a dick about it, assume that things will be OK going forward. New relationships take a while to shake out and change habits and even adopt relationship rules. Everybody likes to blather on about how you have to work to make a good long-term relationship but no one likes it when faced with that work. This is it and there will be other times. If you're not willing to do the work, you're not ready for a relationship. Or maybe this isn't the guy for you but if you do like the guy, give him a bye on this one now that you've talked it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2017 5:25 PM GMT
    He has probably been cheating on you the whole time you have been together and eventually will give you an std, from one of his careless sexual nights out. If you value your health dump him now and move on to better things. Life is to short for drama with someone that you have only been dating for months.

    Move on or risk, sickness or more heartache and more evidence of his cheating ways down the road.
  • Happenis

    Posts: 608

    Sep 01, 2017 7:56 PM GMT
    I would abandon ship or at least put him on EXTREME PROBATION; where if he screws up in any major way again then he's gone: No questions asked. You better demand 24/7 access to his phone as well if you choose this route.

    He CLEARLY doesn't know what it means to be in a relationship. He CLEARLY can't be trusted. And he's CLEARLY not satisfied with you.

    He wasn't crying because he betrayed you: He was crying because he got busted...Just like most people who get convicted with a crime.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2017 9:13 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    Or maybe this isn't the guy for you but if you do like the guy, give him a bye on this one now that you've talked it out.

    Long story short: a dead end. Drop him. He's already dropping YOU.
  • Element1313

    Posts: 161

    Sep 01, 2017 10:21 PM GMT
    You are in an open relationship . Let him know that .
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1330

    Sep 02, 2017 1:08 PM GMT
    Old habits are hard to break, actually in the subconscious mind such urge never ever goes away, ever! drop him!!
  • eddie92

    Posts: 2

    Sep 03, 2017 2:00 AM GMT
    I would totally give him another chance. I came to accept that humans fail all the time specially when it comes to relationships. Gay relationships can be tough sometimes because the average guy thinks about sex all the time, imagine two? Don't let others tell you that he's not worth your love just because you caught him sexting. Talk to him, tell him that it made you feel bad. Forgive it for real! And don't EVER bring that in an argument again.
  • jhywalker

    Posts: 18

    Sep 03, 2017 6:01 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidOld habits are hard to break, actually in the subconscious mind such urge never ever goes away, ever! drop him!!


    I completely agree. Last boyfriend did the same. It is a struggle for them. Some people can't just commit & they end up cheating & lying about it.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1330

    Sep 03, 2017 3:34 PM GMT
    jhywalker said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidOld habits are hard to break, actually in the subconscious mind such urge never ever goes away, ever! drop him!!


    I completely agree. Last boyfriend did the same. It is a struggle for them. Some people can't just commit & they end up cheating & lying about it.


    From my experience the "forgiveness scale" varies at different stages in your life!
    as you mature you begin to realize there is little room for forgiveness, mainly
    because you yourself become aware and experienced enough to differentiate right
    from wrong! besides cheating is lying. I don't think anyone wants that kind of mind
    game, even those involved in an open relationship, I bet!
  • thisguy023

    Posts: 216

    Sep 04, 2017 10:08 AM GMT
    Don't be too harsh on him. Life is a learning experience. Give him room to learn.
    Every relationship has its own distinct set of rules. Talk together and set the rules that work for you both. Then never break them or allow them to be broken.